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Favorite films

  • Fail Safe
  • Talk to Her
  • Starship Troopers
  • Chinatown

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  • A Working Man

    ★★½

  • The Wolfman

    ★★½

  • Cloverfield

    ★★★½

  • The Alto Knights

    ★★★

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  • A Working Man

    A Working Man

    ★★½

    An overly convoluted "Taken" knockoff that weirdly also functions as a loose remake of "Rambo: Last Blood" (Sylvester Stallone co-wrote this), "A Working Man" is 35 minutes too long and wins no prizes for originality, tact, or finesse.

    However, as a significantly less racist version of both those movies mentioned above and powered by the 'so uncharismatic that he loops all the way around to charismatic' dipshit charm of Jason Statham playing literally the only role he ever plays, I very much enjoyed kicking back and laughing along to the sound of shrapnel as my brain slowly devoured itself.

  • The Wolfman

    The Wolfman

    ★★½

    "Every time there isn't an R-rated, ultra-violent, extremely rad lycanthrope attack happening on screen, all the other characters should be asking, 'Where's Woolfie?'".

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  • Cloverfield

    Cloverfield

    ★★★½

    I cannot even begin to articulate my frustration at how often this astonishingly well-realized "9/11 analogue/sobering indictment of how infrastructure and governmental measures always fail when confronted with a horror they haven't had the imagination to account for" is undercut or outright ruined by the inclusion of TJ Miller's incessant riffing.

    Dread, distorted panic, and borderline Eldritch terror are frequently neutered and nullified by the de facto cameraman's real-time colour commentary, to the extent that I am seriously considering using every editing skill in my repertoire to remove his vocal track from the movie entirely.

  • Dune: Part Two

    Dune: Part Two

    ★★★★

    Anybody else wonder what the Fremen's policy on cum is? Crying, barfing and spitting are all deemed as herecy or a sign of respect due to their expenditure of precious fluid, but what about nutting? Is jerking off banned? Is it just no-nut November forever?!

    Oh, the film was fucking great btw.

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