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Bratz: Desert Jewelz 2012
Watched due to Reddit telling me this movie was weirdly dark. Let me tell you it was. There are two murders explicitly confirmed in this movie plus other near death/death threat/death suggested scenes, surprisingly well thought out backstories, and a lovely mixture of Indiana Jones/Aladdin elements with a dash of Neverending Story elements. 2L spring break calls for strange entertainment choices but I can’t say I’m mad this was one of them
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The Star Wars Holiday Special 1978
Standout parts of this movie:
- no subtitles or translation for the (many, many) scenes entirely in the Wookiee language
- Chewie’s dad watching suggestive VR content
- the shamelessly acid trip-inspired visual effects
- Mark Hamill/Carrie Fisher/Harrison Ford looking like they’d rather be anywhere elseTranslated from by
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Jackass Number Two 2006
New prank idea: tell the public you’re making another Jackass installment and then...don’t! It would be hilarious to never release any footage remotely resembling this ever again!
On a real note, I couldn’t finish this painful early 2000s monstrosity. I admittedly am not a fan of physical comedy, but I imagine this pushes the limits even for slapstick loyalists. Anyone involved with this needs to step away from the camera and into a counselor’s office. There’s no humor in watching…
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The Neon Demon 2016
This is the absolute worst movie I have ever had the displeasure of watching. None of the characters made sense, it featured shock value scenes for the sake of shock value alone, and every aspect of this poor excuse for a film came across as even shallower than the LA culture its clusterfuck of a story attempted to criticize. I’ll never get those two hours of my life back but hey now I can say I’ve seen a woman cough up an eyeball right folks
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