Jesse Schwab

Jesse Schwab Pro

On my goal to watch every movie EVER! Or something like that.

Favorite films

  • Batman Forever
  • The Mask
  • Mortal Kombat
  • Pee-wee's Big Adventure

Recent activity

All
  • The Human Condition I: No Greater Love

    ★★★½

  • The Best Christmas Ever!

  • Wee Sing in Sillyville

  • Aladdin and His Wonderful Lamp

    ★★★

Recent reviews

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  • The Human Condition I: No Greater Love

    The Human Condition I: No Greater Love

    ★★★½

    People Suck: Part I - What use is idealism in an ignorant world?

  • The Best Christmas Ever!

    The Best Christmas Ever!

    Of the Wee Sing's I watched when I was a tator tot, I definitely remembered this one the best (at from a conceptual level.) I mean how could you forget these VHS tapes and their incessant laughing, sporadic songs, and tactile nature; only matched with cheap special effects and midi music. More people should be talking about the DP of this & Sillyville-- Gray Mayo! That has to be a pseudonym. What a fever dream of once deeply locked away memories.

Popular reviews

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  • Dune: Part Two

    Dune: Part Two

    ★★★★½

    I can relate to Paul because I too went to a far away land called South Dakota, that was full of nothingness, but I befriended the locals and my mom thinks I'm special, and baby I rode those Sand Bison for miles and overthrew Kristi Noem's vile group of bald mutants and ditched my girlfriend for Florence Pugh wearing chain mail. Oh and at the end I turned around at the theater and saw my friend Michael- hi Michael! Anyway, I don't think anything can stop Denis Villenueve- not even a big ol stinky dune monster!

  • The New Adventures of Pippi Longstocking

    The New Adventures of Pippi Longstocking

    ★★★

    What a weird movie.

    -Pippi throws ice cream at orphans

    This is a thing that happens.
    And let's not forget the fact that Pippi says MULTIPLE TIMES that her family and self are cannibals.

    Even though you can see the whole "adventure" aspect, the underlying theme here is conformity to civilized society. Think about it.

    Best line was the horse saying "HAHA!....school."

    What a weird movie.