Jesse Schwab

Jesse Schwab Pro

On my goal to watch every movie EVER! Or something like that.

Favorite films

  • Batman Forever
  • The Mask
  • Mortal Kombat
  • Pee-wee's Big Adventure

Recent activity

All
  • Space Truckers

    ★★★½

  • Donnie Darko

    ★★★

  • The Human Condition I: No Greater Love

    ★★★½

  • The Best Christmas Ever!

Recent reviews

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  • Space Truckers

    Space Truckers

    ★★★½

    Though absolutely rough around the edges, Space Truckers is a ton of space fun. Ignore the wires on occasion and enjoy the fluid killer robots! And of course Dennis Hopper is a joy when he wants to be. As per usual with Stuart Gordon films, I expected less and was presented with more than my fill. It's probably his most ambitious film, which only adds to the inherent hilarity-- or should I say...space hilarity.

  • Donnie Darko

    Donnie Darko

    ★★★

    ---Director's Cut---
    Not as smart as it thinks, but it's quite funny. What humors me is that back in 2014 my local film festival had a contest where each team were given two movies to mash ideas & themes together for their individual work. My team received Harvey & Highlander, which as I may be alluding to, turned into something akin to Donnie Darko. Creepy guy with a demonic rabbit friend telling him to do questionable acts. And this was before I…

Popular reviews

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  • Dune: Part Two

    Dune: Part Two

    ★★★★½

    I can relate to Paul because I too went to a far away land called South Dakota, that was full of nothingness, but I befriended the locals and my mom thinks I'm special, and baby I rode those Sand Bison for miles and overthrew Kristi Noem's vile group of bald mutants and ditched my girlfriend for Florence Pugh wearing chain mail. Oh and at the end I turned around at the theater and saw my friend Michael- hi Michael! Anyway, I don't think anything can stop Denis Villenueve- not even a big ol stinky dune monster!

  • The New Adventures of Pippi Longstocking

    The New Adventures of Pippi Longstocking

    ★★★

    What a weird movie.

    -Pippi throws ice cream at orphans

    This is a thing that happens.
    And let's not forget the fact that Pippi says MULTIPLE TIMES that her family and self are cannibals.

    Even though you can see the whole "adventure" aspect, the underlying theme here is conformity to civilized society. Think about it.

    Best line was the horse saying "HAHA!....school."

    What a weird movie.