Joachim Jelle

Joachim Jelle Patron

Favorite films

  • Night Moves
  • I Never Sang for My Father
  • Crimson Tide
  • Scarecrow

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  • Under Fire

    ★★★½

  • Witch Academy

    ★★

  • The Mangler

    ★★★

  • The Langoliers

    ★★

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  • Uncut Gems

    Uncut Gems

    ★★★★★

    This fucking guy, fuck, I mean, he would bet his life savings not to save his ass but to put it straight into the ground, he is one intrusive thought close to plunder his kids’ college funds and dig his grave deeper because of the thrill of the hunt, and, jesus, he fucking borrows money to buy shit he can pawn for more money so he can pretend to pay someone back what he owes, because in the end it’s…

  • Trap

    Trap

    ★★★½

    Honestly? A relatable story about a father struggling to juggle family time and passion projects. And what does M. Night do? Combine the two and make passion projects with his daughter. Never stop, M. Night. Never stop.

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  • The Electric State

    The Electric State

    ★½

    The entire Russo Brothers Operation is just one big money laundering scheme by now, right

  • Mickey 17

    Mickey 17

    ★★

    I cannot fathom that the same man who made PARASITE made this movie. The incredible visual and narrative sleight of hand is replaced with clunky sledgehammer cinema and a baby’s-first-social-critique spoon-feeding session. Let’s take all the -isms and pretend we have something meaningful to say while we literally — LITERALLY — have a voiceover followed by a character who repeats the voiceover and an image on screen showing us what’s being said at face value. And don’t tell me it’s…

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  • Moxie

    Moxie

    ★★½

    Hello, fellow kids. I heard you like feminism and equality and all that stuff. Allow me to serve as parental guidance here and spoonfeed you unnuanced ideas from "An Introduction to Feminist Theory".

    Sorry for being facetious, but I'd really much rather watch Lady Bird, Booksmart, Little Women or Girlhood. Maybe even Mean Girls and Clueless - even though they may be a bit dated. They actually manage to show the complexities of feminism rather than seeing the world through the rose-tinted glasses of ideology.

  • Road House

    Road House

    ★★½

    A movie starring Jake Gyllenhaal's six-pack should really be better than this.