60%
It passes as a movie for sure. Nobody can say it doesn't. But Ulli Lommel definitely wants this to be more interesting than it really is. The idea is actually pretty novel: the witch hunt replaying with its reincarnated characters. Sure, that sounds great. But the men in this film lack any depth beyond just hating these women. Or being enamored by them. Or both. But that final scene with one of the Bobs from Office Space... that goes…
90%
Holy crap. Do you like Indiana Jones but wish Indy was a regular doctor (I think…), Short Round was a horny female reporter, and Chow Yun-Fat had a rocket launcher? Do you like action-adventure films with king fu, baby demon worms, and Xenomorphs with visible puppet strings? Fan of some pretty amazing AND pretty terrible practical effects? This is your movie. I kid you not. Just find it. Vinegar Syndrome just put it out, but I’d been waiting for a chance to watch my copy from 88 Films, and this was the time. So glad I did.
80%
This may be the single most accurate depiction of a film set in a movie. Well, top 10 anyway. Self-aware, smart twist on every Lifetime Christmas movie ever that is shot, acted, and written better than them all. It won’t become a Christmas tradition, but I may revisit again in the future.
30%
If not for decent cinematography and one well-done special effect (head in microwave), this trash heap would have been a 10%. Could have been smart, but instead just an excuse for gross actors and writers to live out rape and torture fantasies under the guise that they get their comeuppance.
