i wish i had more opportunities to use the phrase “bullshit jam” in every day life.
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Heart Eyes 2025
i didn’t expect to enjoy this as much as i did, and i also didn’t expect it to be this funny. (granted, i am on edibles.) the gore gags are also exquisite. it’s hampered a little by its predictable killer reveal and somewhat tedious ending, but otherwise it’s fun and very clever at combining the lifetime romcom template with a scream-like slasher. this could be a new yearly tradition along with my bloody valentine.
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You Can't Run Forever 2024
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
j.k. simmons beating off next to my dead body is my new life goal.
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A Nightmare on Elm Street 1984
i was way too young when i first saw a nightmare on elm street—and on christmas eve, of all nights, when my older cousin popped in the vhs to scare the shit out of me. once johnny depp got masticated by his bed and vomited on the ceiling, i begged my parents to let me sleep in their bed that night. they refused, and i was petrified until the morning. i cherish that memory. i wouldn’t give it up for anything.
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