He/him, 24. Take every opinion with several grains of salt (except my twilight reviews, which should be taken as gospel)
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Ultraviolet 2006
This movie's got everything. Bad directing, bad acting, bad writing, a pirated copy of the Spider-Man (2002) soundtrack, Milla Jovovich's midriff, William Fichtner. Everything.
Truly unforgettable.
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Hackers 1995
Filmmakers love to act like you can't film modern tech like computers and smartphones in a way that's visually interesting, and I want every one of those cowards to watch this and marvel at Iain Softley's ingenious "project the computer screen back at the actor's faces" technique. Read it and weep, you losers, and learn what it means to be rad.
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Black Bag 2025
This was a very very good "okay" movie.
Soderbergh consistently proves that small premises can still be endlessly entertaining. If anyone else directed this, if the cast were any different, if the script were any looser, if it was photographed by anyone else, or if anyone else but the inimitable David Holmes did the music, it would probably be boring. Even the stupid "floating faces" poster style is executed in a stylish and visually creative way I haven't come to…
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Salem's Lot 2024
I actually really liked the first two thirds of this! Gary does a lot of stuff right. The cozy/creepy vibe of the novel's first half is represented well, a lot of the characters are introduced really competently, the fantastic effects of the original film are recreated faithfully and terrifyingly - even the casting is better. Ben doesn't look too old (sorry, David Soul) but he also doesn't look too young and hot (sorry, Rob Lowe) - Lewis Pullman perfectly bridges…
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Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind 1984
This was an absolute masterpiece, but I didn't really notice cause my eyes were fucking laser focused on the fox-squirrel the entire time.
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