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Ash 2025
If In The Lost Lands is PlayStation 3-coded, this film is Xbox One-coded. Taking obvious inspiration from Dead Space, Alien Isolation, Resident Evil, plus probably a sprinkle of Doom and Prey. I certainly wouldn’t mind all the nods and homages if the film ever really elevated above it. Just a sequence of tropes from all your favorite 2010s videogames with the same kind of visual incoherence of a mid-budget videogame trying to emulate said games. Except instead of a playable videogame, this…
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The Beach Boys 2024
Hi, I traveled to New York City to watch this softball documentary of this incredibly strange old band on a 100-foot IMAX screen because that’s just the type of unloveable loser I am.
I’ve had to rewrite this a few times because I’m such a nerd and just wanted to endlessly go off about what the documentary DOESN’T cover more than it does. A two-hour movie is just not the right vessel to tell all 50 years of The Beach…
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Madame Web 2024
Wow there is a lot I want to say about this. I really don’t even know where to begin. What is this movie? Why are we here? What do the filmmakers and studio want us to feel? At its core is a kinda cool story? It’s The Terminator but with a legally distinct evil spider person hunting down three teens who will in the future become spider women, and the one woman who can protect them has Butterfly Effect/Final Destination…
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