Recent reviews

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  The Gorge 2025

  ★★ Watched 06 Mar 2025

  man I was so hopeful but even by plane movie standards this sucked. also, anya taylor joy freaks me out. i have never seen anyone who looks more like a praying mantis or at least 17 other miscellaneous bugs

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  Conclave 2024

  ★★★★ Watched 16 Feb 2025

  a 2h long reminder of the time i accidentally ran through the vatican in spandex shorts & a sports bra

  says a lot that a movie about politics AND religion gets a high rating from me. incredible acting and score

  shoutout to piotr for putting up with all my dumb questions about catholicism

Popular reviews

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  Gladiator II 2024

  ★★★½ Watched 05 Dec 2024 2

  nothing creepier than a couple of syphilis-riddled gingers. 

  can't not mention paul mescal. can't mention too much bc piotr reads these.

  overall entertaining, but empty and unfulfilling. best plot point: monkey for emperor!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  Two Night Stand 2014

  ★★★★ Watched 01 Jan 2025 2

  if I had a one night stand with miles teller & he had a michaelangelo bong & a ping pong table in his studio apartment I would never leave

  putting someone in jail & posting their bail with an "i'm sorry i'm an asshole" balloon is the craziest move ever

  (i love it)

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