Paranormal Activity, but make it arthouse
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Smile 2 2024
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
…Bro, did the Smile Entity just secure a higher kill count than all the great slashers combined in the end?
That demonic diva’s the Taylor Swift of horror and this movie was its Eras Tour.
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Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker 2019
Ape brain=“hUrRr, Rey’s no Skywalker, she Palpatine because blood means family!!” (They didn’t understand what was going on in the movie so they watched an Emergency Awesome video to spoonfeed the entire plot to them)
Galaxy brain= “Rey grew up on a desert planet tinkering with spacecraft & speeders, has an egregiously lovable astromech droid for a best friend, inherited a lightsaber that’s killed children, fought for freedom against (the remnants of) of a tyrannical galactic empire controlled by a Sith…
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Star Wars 1977
One of this movie’s most unintentionally genius examples of foreshadowing comes after the Millennium Falcon’s on her way to Yavin IV and Han’s like “You think a princess and a guy like me?…” and Luke’s automatically like “NOPE.” Bro’s only known Leia for like, a day and he’s already instinctually hard-wired to protect his sister from jobless Corellian fuckboys living out of their space weed van.
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