Favorite films

Recent reviews

• 

  Smile 2 2024

  ★★★ Watched 13 Mar 2025 1

  A sequel called Erection and it's about a person who sees phantasms only related by their massive sweltering hog balloning from their sweat pants.

• 

  The Ninth Gate 1999

  ★★★½ Watched 13 Mar 2025

  Looking at the Devil's profile on tinder, thumb waving back and forth, biting my lip as I weigh the pros and cons before shuffling back to the swimsuit pic, and swiping right.

Popular reviews

• 

  Merlin 1998

  ★★★ Watched 22 Jul 2022 3

  The cast? Star studded.
  The CGI? Complete dogshit
  Incest? Included.

  But wait, you're probably saying

  
  Is any time allotted at all to anti-chinese racism?

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

  yes

• 

  The Matrix Resurrections 2021

  ★½ Watched 27 Dec 2021 3

  Lana Wachowski has been deeply Matrix poisoned.

  In the future where everything is dumber, you could not have another movie like the Matrix. You cannot have a film brought to creation through a meditation on cyberpunk tropes, and the general malaise brought on by the end of history, and a seemingly vast tide of personalized consumer culture.

  The Wachowskis are no longer rebellious dork lords feeling uneasy about America's dark future.

  They are now two rich bitches living in gated…