This profile is your last stop in purgatory before you finally reach Hell. Enjoy reading my 80 for Brady review.
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Alien: Romulus 2024
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
Several deeply upsetting vaginas in this film. I know that weird genitals have always been part of the iconography of the Alien films, but man, seeing the fucked up muff this film had to offer in IMAX made me sigh. Made me pray that there wouldn’t be a breastfeeding scene. My prayers fell on deaf ears.
Anyways, really scary, great visuals, paper thin characters. I’d say two of the top four most upsetting cooters I’ve ever seen. I guess my…
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Snow White 2025
What a weird Frankenstein’s monster of a screenplay!
A list of random thoughts:
- I am fully delusional enough to believe that of Rachel Zegler hadn’t dropped out of MSU we would’ve been friends.
- Marc Webb is an excellent director.
- Pasek & Paul know how to write funny duets and nothing else.
- You can cut the seven dwarves out of this movie and it remains fundamentally unchanged.
- You can also cut out the poison apple subplot.
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Ash 2025
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
Boldly dares to ask the question “what if The Thing hurt to look at”
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Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse 2023
Bold! Funny! Dark! Long! Worthy of the panic attack I had in the immediate aftermath!
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MaXXXine 2024
Man, I really wanted to like this, but it’s messy as hell. The third act is fucking bizarre, the commentary on the Satanic Panic is pretty surface-level, and on the whole I think we just got tricked into thinking Maxine is a more interesting character than she actually is simply because Mia Goth is incredible.
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