Alternative username: WaltoncalypseNow
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Den of Thieves 2018
More like Den of SLEEP. BOOOORINNNGGG. And I usually like a twisted-cop-type heist movie but this just felt SELF-INDULGENT.
Was fighting sleep HARD on this --'cause no one was worth staying awake for! I feel the key to a crime film is to have REDEEMABLE bad guys... or at least bad guys with swag. It's hard to lock-in for cheating wife-beaters with battling egos. It felt too real.
The typa headache you get when you're forced to hangout with co-workers…
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Beavis and Butt-Head Do America 1996
Fuckin TART, dude. Like butter on my girl balls. Funny as hell but in way where I don't think. I'm just rewarded for being baseline culturally fluent, and reserving elitism for the third-dimension. Cartoons rule.
Mike Judge rules. Sometimes I think I SHOULD serve time in a corporate cube 'til my brain rots har-hars and sex jibes and THEN I'll make something so brain-massaging that generations onward shalt watch and drown in my mastery... the luke-warm pool that is my…
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Blink Twice 2024
Not even comically bad. Disturbing and of shallow intentions.
On the subject of sensitive subjects --rape, power, violence-- I feel like there's a reason they call them... "sensitive".
Complex struggles should be laid simple, trauma should be made purposeful, revenge should be ethical, and victims should be taken seriously. The audience should be taken seriously. What in the Stanley-Cup-Feminism was this...
From the beginning it was hard to take this seriously. That "hey girl!"-type dialogue and the way they Chekov's…
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Two Can Play That Game 2001
Yeah. I needed this. I should watch. this once a month. To keep my head on straight. I will name my first-born "Shante."
I'm not a woman of frivolous things, but if I ever encounter that cheetah print vintage Dior slip dress in the wild, I won't care for the price... it's ass is MINE
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