What could’ve been if Lincoln hadn’t been shot. What could’ve been if Carson Wentz didn’t tear his ACL. What could’ve been if the middle acts of this movie were half as good as the beginning and the end. The new American characters are pretty bland, and the villian is boring compared to Samuel L Jackson in the first one. However, a hilariously dark parody of George Bush/Regan and a new plot twist are welcome additions. Yes, the middle is a drag, but the positives sometimes outweigh the negatives, and shine the most in the glorious beginning and final thirds.
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Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle 2017
Good movie, but an obvious commercial for vaping
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We Bought a Zoo 2011
FUCK THIS MOVIE. I don’t care if it’s family friendly entertainment. I don’t care if it has innoscent laughs for the kids, or heartwarming moments for the parents. FUCK MATT DAMON, FUCK SCARLETT JOHANSON, AND FUCK THIS MOVIE FOR WASTING THE TIME MILLIONS OF PEOPLE
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Animal House 1978
A tragic drama about students who struggled academically in college, and then go into terrorism to solve their problems. Makes you think about our society as a whole. Is college nesissary? Is higher education overpriced. Do we overvalue a degree for our own pride? These questions, and more, are answered in intricate motifs throughout the film.
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