The ultimate tease—scantily clad women running around acting tough, yet none of them commit fully to their role if you know what I mean. There’s plenty of action, but absolutely no coherent plot to string it together. I still have no idea what the villain wanted, and the endless cycle of repetitive kills does little to clarify things. At least it ends with one of the most unnecessarily drawn-out death scenes of the ’80s. It is good for a double feature with something better, but it is far from David A. Prior’s finest work.
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Young Warriors 1983
One of the most tonally unhinged movies I’ve ever seen. It starts as a college boner comedy, takes a hard left into bleak crime drama, then somehow morphs into a full-blown vigilante revenge flick. By the end, nobody wins, and you’re just left wondering what the hell you just watched. Classic Cannon Films chaos—explosions, slow-mo gunfire, gratuitous nudity, and washed-up stars collecting easy paychecks. A baffling but underappreciated gem of 80s trash cinema.
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Ambulance 2022
How stoked was Michael Bay when drones became a thing? By the looks of this movie, very stoked. An above-average heist movie that devolves into a below-average chase movie with little tension throughout. Jake Gyllenhaal is slumming it here but he does what he can with a middling script. I would've preferred a movie about his character's many successful bank robberies instead of this portrait of consistent failure. It's an average movie - didn't love it or hate it.
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