Noah

Noah Patron

Favorite films

  • Oppenheimer
  • Children of Men
  • Nosferatu
  • Interstellar

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  • Phantom Thread

    ★★★★

  • Polytechnique

    ★★½

  • Mickey 17

    ★★★★

  • Dumb Money

    ★★★

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  • Nosferatu

    Nosferatu

    ★★★★½

    I’m succumbing to the darkness so hard right now. 

    Not only does Nosferatu manage to live up to the immense expectations it garnered in the lead-up to its release — I believe that it even exceeds these expectations in some aspects. Robert Eggers dedicates himself to this movie in a way that I have never seen a director do before — crafting a beautifully dark and detailed world that feels so devoid of hope. Seriously, the horror and gothic dread…

  • Scream

    Scream

    ★★★★★

    Matthew Lillard as Stu Macher aka the greatest character in cinema

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  • Mickey 17

    Mickey 17

    ★★★★

    It’s exactly what we’ve come to expect from Joon Ho—a metaphorical, genre-blending satire with frighteningly accurate social commentary and an incredible lead performance. 

    Another Bong hit.

  • The Substance

    The Substance

    ★★★½

    Alexa play Whole Lotta Ass by NHL Reece

    First of all, what the fuck? What did I just watch? What a grotesque thrill ride from start to finish. I was loving every second of it too, right up until the bold and blood-covered finale. Surprisingly enough, I was even loving the body horror and top-notch effects and prosthetics, but the shift from psychological horror to over-the-top comedy just didn't do it for me. However, that final shot is absolute perfection.…

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  • Prisoners

    Prisoners

    ★★★★

    Hugh Jackman yelling “no more riddles” in Paul Dano’s face. What a foreshadow.

    Prisoners is a ridiculously gripping and atmospheric crime thriller that is also very technically sound, as all Denis Villeneuve films are. Jackman is self-righteous, Gyllenhaal is twitchy, and Dano is weird—they’re all such chaotic and complex characters that are portrayed perfectly by three incredible actors. No matter how many times I watch it, Prisoners’s bleak and immoral story is guaranteed to linger in my brain for days every time.

  • The Northman

    The Northman

    ★★★★

    The Night Blade sure did feed. 

    While I must admit, choosing to fight your naked uncle in a volcano over living a happy life with Anya Taylor-Joy may be the worst decision ever made, I can’t deny that this movie totally fucks. Brutal, barbaric, and bleak, The Northman is a Viking revenge story that redefines the historical epic genre. Backed by an all-star cast—specifically an absolutely savage and career-best performance from Alexander Skarsgård—Robert Eggers accomplishes the near-impossible task of telling this vengeful story with just as much grace as he does bloody violence.