Christian

Christian Patron

Veteran of the Anora War of 2025

Favorite films

  • Portrait of a Lady on Fire
  • Lake Mungo
  • Little Miss Sunshine
  • The Gold Rush

Recent activity

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  • Mickey 17

  • The Gold Rush

    ★★★★★

  • The Kid

    ★★★★

  • City Lights

    ★★★★★

Recent reviews

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  • Mickey 17

    Mickey 17

    I would rather die 16 times than watch this interminable slog again

  • The Gold Rush

    The Gold Rush

    ★★★★★

    One of the most authentic cinematic portrayals of loneliness and yearning yet also deeply silly. I'm in love

Popular reviews

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  • Love Lies Bleeding

    Love Lies Bleeding

    ★★★★½

    This thing fucks (in every sense of the word). Somehow only gets funnier even as it gets darker. Jaw-dropping imagery, grimy ass performances, and a twist so gonzo most people won't even believe it's real. The 80s are so back

  • Killers of the Flower Moon

    Killers of the Flower Moon

    ★★

    A 3 1/2 hour epic with the emotional texture of a Wikipedia article. Stunned at the similarities to Oppenheimer - both too-long exercises in cinematic hypnosis that, in trying to fit entire biographical texts into an ill-suited format, end up saying very little at all. Of course, it goes without saying that it's fine to truncate anything involving a woman.

    That's not to mention the blithely uninspired soundtrack - that bum. bum. bum. bum. bum. bu-dum-bum-bum. that drones on in the…

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