Favorite films

Recent reviews

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  Borderlands 2024

  ★★★ Watched 06 Sep 2024 3

  Truely the pinnacle of stock motion entertainment. When that firey boy claptrap. Started talking like black Jack I felt a warm sensation in my heart. That sensation actually turned out to be a heartattack and I passed away moments later. Or so I thought. That night I awoke in the morgue cold and afraid and scurried from the sheets. That’s when I saw it. My own body lying there in a pile of chicken skin and half eaten finger licking…

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  Longlegs 2024

  ★★½ Watched 06 Sep 2024

  Went into this film thinking there might be some long legs. There was indeed some long legs. Unfortunately not as long as I tend to like. 2.5 from me. Kinda disappointed. Talking about long legs. I don’t know where they came from but I desperately need help. IM CURRENTLY BEING HELD HOSTAGE BY 5 LONG LIMBS BEINGS (yes the 5th leg is where you think it is). THEY’RE OUTSIDE MY HOUSE AND COMING AFTER ME PLEAEE SOMEONE HELP ME. Signed:Paulnite24

Popular reviews

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  A Quiet Place: Day One 2024

  ½ Watched 15 Jul 2024 1

  Are any days quiet anymore. Sometimes I stay up a little later at night (7pm) and I can hear the birds chirping, the night sing and the slug’s rise. They hunger for leaves. Those little cretins ruin everything, I mean what do they even do. Slug around all day and for what! To leave a little trail. Worthless fucking insect. Fuck you.

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  2001: A Space Odyssey 1968

  ½ Rewatched 10 May 2024

  Just straight terrible. What were the directors doing? I know, eating actual shit. Where is the mention of fortnite??? Minecraft?? Hoe simulator???
  Sort it out and don’t watch this. It’s like grinding sandpaper on your rim.