Schmittens

Schmittens Patron

Wait, I’m confused…

Favorite films

  • No Country for Old Men
  • The Handmaiden
  • The Host
  • Cowboy Bebop

Recent activity

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  • Black Bag

    ★★★½

  • Presence

    ★★½

  • C.H.U.D.

    ★★

  • Conclave

    ★★★★

Recent reviews

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  • Black Bag

    Black Bag

    ★★★½

    This feels like this might be a film that gets better with subsequent viewings. I’ll definitely need to rewatch. 

    The couple, sexy. The plot, sexy. Even the cinematography with this kind of hazy glow to it, sexy

    Some real, positive Beta-boi representation here.

  • Presence

    Presence

    ★★½

    What a lovely house.

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  • Mickey 17

    Mickey 17

    ★★★½

    I know I’m probably hyper-fixating, but everyone kept asking Mickey what it was like to die and I’m here wondering, does he remember his deaths? Are his memory uploads to the brick (I love that it’s an actual brick by the way…wtf) done in real-time, wirelessly? Telepathically? It seemed to me like he had to do routine uploads. So wouldn’t he be spared the knowledge of his own deaths?

    While I appreciate that he talks about still being afraid, I’d…

  • Conclave

    Conclave

    ★★★★

    Lawrence’s “from-the-heart” speech about how faith walks hand-in-hand with doubt was beautiful. Not sure if that’s straight from the book this film is based on, but the writer of this screenplay also wrote The Snowman and I’m like WTF?!

    That Italian Cardinal rippin’ his vape cracks me up. 

    Man, lighting and color in this is top tier. 

    It’s interesting how it feels like God is a character in this film, present in symbols and metaphor. 

    Wild ending.