Terrible c-grade Terminator rip-off with Jesse Ventura as a 10,000 year old cop from another dimension. He comes to Earth chasing after a rogue cop who's trying to create a monster or leader or something. There's no telling what's going on.
Lots of poorly staged fights and long, boring chases are interspersed with poorly lit scenes of random people having silly and violent encounters with Jesse and his former friend. This is an empirically bad movie in pretty much every way.
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Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe 1990
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Death Walks at Midnight 1972
Mediocre giallo about a model who sees visions of grisly murders while doing a drug-fueled photo shoot. Of course, no one believes her, and she spends the rest of the movie alternately running from or trying to track down the killer. It doesn't make much sense, and some last-minute twists and exposition dumps only serve to make it more confusing and unlikely. Some fantastic cinematography, though, which keeps it watchable enough.
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Eye of the Cat 1969
Laughably bad "thriller" about a sexy, evil hairdresser who teams up with a smug 60s hipster to murder his wealthy aunt and inherit her fortune. The one catch? The rich aunt lives with a houseful of cats, and her murderous nephew descends into scenery-chewing, wide-eyed panic at the mere mention of a cat. To my mind, this disqualifies him from the scheme, but they press ahead with a very dumb plan to convince her to change her will so that…
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Deadpool & Wolverine 2024
One of the most soulless and empty Marvel flicks yet – which is really saying something. This snarky, self-satisfied slog thinks it’s a lot more clever than it actually is.
Ryan Reynolds returns as Deadpool, the fourth-wall-breaking cut-up who spends as much time mocking the goings-on as he does participating in them. I usually find that a little of RR’s smug swagger goes a long way, but really enjoyed the first two Deadpool flicks despite them. Those films balanced RR’s…
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