I used to watch a lot of movies but don't anymore. Sorry for living my life.
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Love Lies Bleeding 2024
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
So the villain Ed Harris and his crime family have been disposing of their victims in a canyon for decades. At one point there is a great aerial shot of this canyon directly above it and shooting downwards parallel to the ground, revealing the hidden vaginal nature of their favorite hiding spot. When our heroine grows surreally massive in size towards the end of the movie, she pins Ed Harris and he is framed directly next to her crotch. And…
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Napoleon 2023
This is a slightly more funny version of The Death of Stalin for me, which still doesn't rank that high. The first 30 minutes are some of the most insane I've witnessed in a while, with editing that switches rapidly and without warning from someone or something getting mauled by a cannon, to Napoleon saying some funny out of pocket shit to Josephine being hot under the Mexico film filter.
The movie probably would have been better if it was…
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Spider-Man: No Way Home 2021
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
***SPOILERS***
"I saw things I recognized and I clapped" the movie. But you already knew that. Benefits from juggling and successfully paying off more than most movies can keep in the air, which is probably why there's a least ten pause for applause moments. That being said seeing REDACTED go from playing shy, so-awkward-he-can-be-offputting Peter to essentially playing himself doing riffs is disorienting. And the fact that the whole REDACTED at the end is just a ploy to move Holland…
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Midsommar 2019
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
After my rewatch of this film, Ari Aster has crystallized his place in my mind as Wes Anderson’s Wario (Mes Anderson?). Both use one point perspective and dollhouse interior staging to make the audience feel even more like a voyeur, peering in on a fictional story that can’t be mistaken for real life because none of the visual conventions match up with what we normally see with our eyes. While Mr. Anderson wants us all to look at overly precious,…
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