SDiplomat

SDiplomat

Favorite films

  • Children of Men
  • The Thing
  • Nope
  • The Blob

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  • The Monkey

    ★★★★

  • Mufasa: The Lion King

    ★★½

  • Captain America: Brave New World

    ★★★

  • Y2K

    ★★★★

Recent reviews

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  • The Monkey

    The Monkey

    ★★★★

    Osgood Perkins was the last director I expected to make a complete bloodbathed farce like this, but damn does this rule. Take the Rube Goldberg deaths of Final Destination and cross it with the slapstick nonsense of early Peter Jackson (and this might actually compete with Braindead in terms of blood and guts) and you have The Monkey, one of the surest bets to become a cult classic that we've seen in a long while.

  • Mufasa: The Lion King

    Mufasa: The Lion King

    ★★½

    I have no strong feelings about this one way or the other, which means it's a huge improvement over its predecessor. The faux-live-action remake of the Lion King is arguably one of the most worthless movies ever made, up there with Van Sant's Psycho, whereas this manages to be... acceptable.

    I can't shake the feeling that a lot was left in the first draft, as so many characters blatantly state their feelings and motivations to the audience. At least the…

Popular reviews

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  • Dear Santa

    Dear Santa

    ★★

    You know movie climaxes? The part where all the plotlines converge and maybe there's a ticking clock or some other form of tension, and all the disparate parts see payoff as the protagonist faces personal challenges and completes their arc? Yeah, would be cool if this movie had one of those. It just kinda meanders on for 15 minutes too long and then a deus ex machina makes the ending absurdly happy; no lessons learned.

    I had some small hope…

  • Beware! The Blob

    Beware! The Blob

    ★½

    It's a shame they hadn't invented jokes yet in 1972. They had to make do with antics.

    The lowest brow, lowest effort comedy you've ever seen, accompanied by music that constantly assures you that it's actually hilarious. Not a punchline to be seen in the interminable 90-minute runtime. Instead, gorilla costumes and incoherent mumbling from a cast who is clearly making up their dialog on the spot has to fill that void.

    It's one of the few movies with actively…