Favorite films

Recent reviews

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  Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World 2003

  ★★★½ Watched 15 Mar 2025

  Would be maybe as much as 4.5 stars if I didn't have to suspend my disbelief & also resist the urge to scream STARS IN YOUR MULTITUDES every time Russell Crowe opened his mouth & also whoever got that ridiculous blonde wig on his head should be made to eat it

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  Come to Daddy 2019

  ★★★★ Watched 10 Mar 2025

  Beautifully filmed genre-fuck. It's possible it's getting a whole half a star because Elijah Wood's in it and I loooove watching him for whatever reason. Just let it cook man, stop trying to get in front of it you can't win

Popular reviews

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  Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning 2023

  ★★★★ Watched 23 Dec 2024

  Oh you don't think the newest Mission Impossible is for you? My brother in Christ an aging scientologist has risked his actual life several times in these here two hours for no other reason than to entertain you can you fucking open your eyes this is real life this is visual crack the set pieces will eat you if you don't eat them first the artistry on display here will make your blood scream just pull the pole out your arsehole and enjoy yourself for once

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  Saltburn 2023

  ★★ Watched 29 Dec 2023 1

  It's sort of like when someone holds up their index finger as though they're about to make a point, but then they just do a huge fart

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