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Hellboy: The Crooked Man 2024
I appreciate that the first five minutes had a Hellboy who was pretending to be Mickey Rourke as Marv in Sin City with a face covered in Play-Doh and an ugly CGI spider so I could check out almost immediately! Stinky doodoo!
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Megan Is Missing 2011
Truly a cinematic abomination! It’s rare for a movie to fail to offer anything of value in any capacity for a full 85 minutes, but they pulled it off!
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The Last Voyage of the Demeter 2023
Damn now THAT is one awesome 85-minute Dracula movie! Oh wait it’s two hours long aw shit aw fuck
EDIT: more like Nosfer-yacht-tu
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