In a horrible year with awful politics and deaths and, and... you know, just the awfulness that 2016 has been, I've taken some respite by getting angry over some goddamned trivial stuff. Mostly that means being a solitary voice in the darkness that loudly, proudly says, "Die Hard is not a fucking Christmas movie, you assholes."
You know what Christmas movies are? They are movies that can only be watched in December. There's no other time it makes sense to…
[abrasive synth]
[heavy breathing]
[doorbell ringing]
It's been a long time since I've watched Halloween. I would get into why, but it's a boring story. Suffice to say, I didn't have access. And now I do. Wasn't sure how Halloween would hold up. I've wavered in opinion with various other cornerstone horror franchises (Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th), and it's been a long time.
It's apparent from the opening scene that Halloween holds the FUCK up.
Every year…
I read the Junji Ito graphic novel Uzumaki four years ago and thought it was pretty wonderful. His art style is incredible and his flair for the nonsensical macabre is a delight. I didn't have a whole lot of hope that an animated series based on Uzumaki could hit the same tone, but what do you know? This four episode series did a fantastic job.
There's no real plot to outline here. It's a concept. Spirals. A town being drawn…
It's been almost eight years since I finished my first watch of the entire James Bond series with the then-current Spectre. I wasn't super worried about not remembering anything about Spectre because, historically, the James Bond films don't really have a lot of continuity between them. They're more-or-less designed to stand alone. And sure, the Daniel Craig era of Bond has definitely featured more continuity than prior Bond eras, but we're still talking about a fictional character that has been…
A quick quiz to determine whether August Underground is right for you.
Instructions: Circle Agree or circle Disagree. Count how many times you circled "Agree"
1. I don't like films that feature plots.
Agree or Disagree
2. I find meaning in senseless violence.
Agree or Disagree
3. When I watch the ear scene in Reservoir Dogs, I wish that it was longer, bloodier, and featuring more shit.
Agree or Disagree
4. Most found footage films are too cinematic for my…
"You smell like Tia's dad. Have you been drinking?"
Logically, Saved! is far from perfect. The script clinks and clunks around, the camera work is wonky at best, and every time I watch it these--and other--flaws become more and more apparent. But Saved! still manages to charm through the use of two key assets: 1. Earnest and believable performances from all of the main characters. 2. Painting a Christian culture through secular eyes that actually feels eerily believable.
As a…
