Writer at The Ringer. Wrote a novel. Link’s around here somewhere.
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The Getaway 1972
Here’s the thing: If I gotta sing to get home to Ali MacGraw, I’ll sing like Squints Bocelli. Belt it to the goddamn rafters. Con te partiró, baby.
It’s like
1. Shirley MacClaine in The Apartment
2. Rihanna in Battleship
3. MacGraw in The GetawayOccasionally the movie becomes Two Hot People Stare at Each Other. Sometimes that’s bad news. Sometimes it rules. This is also one of our finest Mustache Movies. A Mustache Movie, or Stacher, is any film…
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The Lady Eve 1941
Amazing that back in the day you could confuse people by just changing your voice and bangs. Big bangs movie. We’re talking big, big bangs. Mike Breen double bangs. And inside each curl, another universe. Babs is doing major things here.
Stanwyck autocorrects to Sandwich on my end and that’s on me. I should be typing her name way more than sandwich. Stanwyck. Stanwyck. Powerhouse. Stanwyck. She didn’t get nominated for this, which, what the hell, man? What more could…
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Mank 2020
Happy Manksgiving! Let’s go around the table and say what we’re Mankful for. I’ll start—Mank Thomas, The Big Flirt! Coming to a desert home near you.
It’s cool when Lilly Collins knows what temperature it was during the Battle of Hastings. I like the way she says centigrade.
I want to write in a Spiral Sight Saver Notebook. I want to write Let me be Mank with you. I want to write Dr. Mankenstein’s monster. I want to write Do…
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Mud 2012
Best movie to ever feature a character named Neckbone. Best movie to ever feature the line, “Did you touch her titty yet?” Best movie to ever feature Michael Shannon in a wetsuit. Best movie to ever feature Michael Shannon playing “Help Me, Rhonda.” Best movie to ever feature Michael Shannon saying, “Get your tip wet.” Best movie to ever feature Michael Shannon saying, “Hey, a lotta people are comfortable with that kinda thing in the bedroom.” Best movie to ever…
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