Favorite films

Pinned reviews

• 

  The Car Fucking Movie 2023

  ★★★★ Watched 23 Sep 2023

  Crazy to think something titled this would have the most beautiful final shot in film history but here we are

• 

  The Transporter 2002

  ★★★½ Rewatched 06 Oct 2022

  A shirtless Jason Statham fights like 10 dudes while rolling around in oil, then jumps out of a window and kisses a man underwater while he's being shot at

  Like, come on. I am definitely the target audience for this one

Recent reviews

• 

  Texas Terror 1935

  ★½ Watched 25 Mar 2025

  It it's just on in the background it's pretty good but the second you start paying attention it's dogwater

• 

  The Wraith 1986

  ★★★ Watched 25 Mar 2025

  Absurdly good soundtrack. Slaps horse nuts and feels out of place on this lame dadcore film that can't decide whether it wants to be made-for-tv horror or made-for-tv sci-fi. But the soundtrack makes this lame Charlie Sheen flick work extremely well. A few beers deep this would be a 5 star easily

Popular reviews

• 

  David Lucas: Uncancellable 2024

  ½ Watched 23 Jul 2024

  Probably one of the worst comedy specials I've ever seen, and I don't really like any of them.

  The "Cancel Culture" bit is so played out that it makes me bleed from my ears, Austin comedy is boring as fuck because it just revolves around pleasing big Joe, and David Lucas uses homophobic and transphobic slurs numerous times here, which can work if you're funny or part of the community but David is neither

• 

  Deadpool & Wolverine 2024

  ½ Watched 03 Aug 2024 4

  Not sure I can say anything that isn't already said in this incredible article by Louis Chilton, but I'll leave it at this: this is not a movie. This is a 2 hour fan supercut made by someone sad that Marvel bought Fox.

  It is the most cynical, self-referential piece of media I had ever seen in my life. It's not beating a dead horse. It's beating you with said horse. I've seen worse this year, but I don't think…