flashysparklesonthewater:

the960writers:

Welcome new followers who do not quite look like porn bots.

A word of advice: If you only hit the Like heart, your blog appears to be empty and your tumblr experience will not be good. Because people will block you.

I will block you.

Get reblogging, fill your blog. This is how it’s done here.

If for whatever reason you don’t feel comfortable reblogging yet, literally just make one single text post saying something like “hey I’m new to tumblr and still figuring out the culture! Not a bot, pls don’t block me.” An empty blog is an instant report spam.

This is 100% serious; we get so fucking many pornbots (and other spambots) here that we are very cynical towards any blog that matches the approximate format of a spam blog and will just report and block on sight, for our own protection.

FYI, new people, a spam blog typically:

• Has an icon/avatar/profile pic that is either a default one, or a photo of one or more women. (If your icon isn’t technically a default one, but it looks like one at first glance, still beware: a first glance is all many people will give it. It’s not a matter of principle, we’re just trigger-happy from dealing with all these fucking bots.)
• Blog title is “Untitled” or “Untitled” in another language, e.g. “Sin título”
• Has the default tumblr-assigned theme instead of a custom one
• Often has no blog description
• Either has no posts, or the posts are thirst traps or porn. (I’ve seen that some of them like to start with a few posts that are just suggestive-but-well-within-TOS selfies or something, before moving on to posting porn and suspicious links.)
• If they are posting and tagging things, they tag posts with a bunch of *unrelated* things and/or commentary tags copied from others. It’ll be like “#naruto #gay feelings #barbie #petblr #I love him??? #sunset #cryptidcore #balder’s gate iii”. If you try to post selfies and tag them with random stuff so more people see it you will have a bad time.

If tumblr isn’t letting you customize your blog before you follow people, then making a post is the way to go. It doesn’t have to be elaborate or funny or personal–just looking different from a spambot is enough.

Pinning as a warning: if you have an empty default blog, This Means You.

heroineimages:

fuckyeahchinesefashion:

OP: so this is the ‘intense regional downpour’ on the weather forecast

I love when the weather says ‘fuck you, get soaked,’ to a single mile-wide or square-mile piece of land.

staff:

Tumblr Tuesday: Nineteen Years of Neil

Two days ago, that momentous time in April blessed us once more: the anniversary of Neil banging out his tunes. It’s been 19 years, and Neil still brings us joy each year in April, famously the cruelest of months. In celebration of this fact, some art was created. Please enjoy these depictions of a happy little rattie making some music on a toy piano.

(Lest we forget, April 13 also marked the 16th anniversary of Homestuck. Happy Homestuckness to those who celebrate; we’ve added a few small treats for you <3)

@emwheezie:

Originally posted by emwheezie

@crtastrophe:

Originally posted by crtastrophe

@www-proxxicles-com:

Originally posted by www-proxxicles-com

@lotostar:

Originally posted by lotostar

@artbygiraffe:

Originally posted by artbygiraffe

@bweirdart:

Originally posted by bweirdart

@bucket-of-amethyst:

Originally posted by bucket-of-amethyst

@rela-monarchy39:

Originally posted by rela-monarchy39

@jakdaw:

Originally posted by jakdaw

@pizza-feverdream:

Originally posted by pizza-feverdream

@spectrumspace:

Originally posted by spectrumspace

@moms-against-homestuck:

Originally posted by moms-against-homestuck

@crafftypenguin:

Originally posted by crafftypenguin

@artificialhaunts:

Originally posted by artificialhaunts

@cintailed:

Originally posted by cintailed

@thatlittledandere:

Originally posted by thatlittledandere

@tobisaurus:

Originally posted by tobisaurus

@rabiesram:

Originally posted by rabiesram

@auxhilerated:

Originally posted by auxhilerated

@oswald-can-draw:

Originally posted by oswald-can-draw

@bzedan:

Originally posted by bzedan

@arborix:

Originally posted by arborix

@pandaragons:

Originally posted by pandaragons

@wizard-legs:

Originally posted by wizard-legs

@inchwormvinny:

Originally posted by inchwormvinny

@gildedware:

Originally posted by gildedware

@corvidcrowned:

Originally posted by corvidcrowned

@stealingpotatoes:

Originally posted by stealingpotatoes

@wpmz:

Originally posted by wpmz

nikkiitalks:

Grey Wolf taking a roll call and gretting responses from seemingly the entire forest.

Sound on.

iridescentoracle:

mayasaura:

nature-nomadism:

AU where Harrow and Gideon are nice to each other as kids and accidentally achieve perfect lyctorhood while trying to get into the locked tomb, but they don’t realize until they get to Canaan House and are like “wait, you guys can’t do this all this powerful necromancy?”

Cytherea makes her dramatic entrance swooning out of her shuttle and is caught by… another Lyctor? She can sense the Ninth cav where they’re touching, but otherwise she’s a black hole. The Ninth necromancer approaching behind her is also registering as a Lyctor. Cytherea is too shocked to even command her puppet to move.

“Are you okay?” asks the unfamiliar Lyctor passing herself off as the Ninth House cavalier.

No. Cytherea is not okay. What the FUCK

#wait PLEASE this is so fucking funny #op you’re on like ninety five kinds of god tier with this #gideon and harrow: accidental lyctors #GOD wait hang on okay #gideon (not a necro; presumably not enjoying the lyctoral radar either) is operating with no particularly special knowledge here #harrow knows that cytherea is a black hole but the only other black hole she knows is gideon #(harrow is a pointy and suspicious little nunlet so she probably takes that as enough reason to be paranoid) #cytherea knows harrow and gideon are lyctors but doesn’t know (yet) about perfect lyctorhood #(actually she might make the leap instantly–gideon’s about as far from a necro build as humanly possible–but assuming she didn’t) #assuming that cyth doesn’t INSTANTLY just try to snatch gideon’s glasses/harrow’s veil and/or kill them both on the spot #this means that harrow and gideon would roll up to the trials and just start BURNING through them #fuck this just gets funnier by the page. the further into the book this goes the funnier it is. #i love this (via words-writ-in-starlight)

spongebobssquarepants:

derinthescarletpescatarian:

that-house:

communist-hatsunemiku:

communist-hatsunemiku:

“we’re all going to be using and leaning into spatial computing” this is a telltale sign of rich techbro brainrot. “oh lets reinvent the kitchen timer but worse and connected to wifi” fucking idiot

this is even worse cuz i just realized that you’d literally be wearing a $3500 vr headset while your fucking cooking. this shit would be stupid even if it cost $35

briefly forgot Death Note was a thing and was wondering why I’d need to spend $3500 to know if my pasta was transphobic

I love only two things more than using incredibly overpriced internet-connected devices to do what a cute bit of plastic and springs I bought from kmart for three dollars can do. One of those things is impeding my view of my surroundings with huge clunky goggles while playing with hot water and knives and fire. The other is exposing my expensive electronics to high quantities of steam.

My favorite part is how the timers are blocking the view of the back of the stove, where there appears to be… a timer.

mollybeenoel:

© plutoxoxi via x/twitter

ethnianmandarin:

argumate:

ethnianmandarin:

shieldfoss:

argumate:

word to the wise: if you’re on Tumblr desktop you can use XKit to blacklist someone like me who posts too much and avoid seeing my posts even if they are reblogged by other people that you follow.

there, just made your day a little better. the alternative would be me posting less or posting better, and you and me both know that’s not gonna happen.

spread this like wildfire, etc.

Tell me a user story about somebody who needs to blacklist argumate

Alice is a tumblr user who doesn’t like to read bad posts. She downloads XKit and immediately blacklists argumate. her tumblr experience is straight away improved and everyone who worked on XKit gets medals.

she’s very scared of owls also

howdoyoudothedew:

howdoyoudothedew:

the masculine urge to write a dinotrap canonverse season three ficlet with rattrap and silverbolt with silverbolt trying to get rattrap to understand his desire to make blackarachnia a maximal again and how he should understand because he loved dinobot and arent they the same and for rattrap to look him dead in the eyes and go ‘the difference between us is that i’m willing to admit i loved a predacon’

i was told to ‘say more’ and who am i to deny the people what they want? so

Keep reading

perenial:

big big BIG fan of couples who are a package deal but in an evil way. ur not getting one without the other and that’s a threat