The Olive Plants - Raising Spiritual Children

All Scripture quotations from the King James Version of the Bible unless otherwise noted.

The Olive Plants – Raising Spiritual Children

By Warren Henderson

Copyright © 2007

eBook Published by Warren A Henderson

eBook ISBN 978-1-939770-10-3

Cover Design by Rachel Brooks

Originally Published by Gospel Folio Press

304 Killaly Street West

Port Colborne, ON, L3K 6A6, Canada

Perfect Bound ISBN 978-1-897117-51-4

ORDERING INFORMATION:

Gospel Folio Press

Phone 1-905-835-9166

E-mail: order@gospelfolio.com

Other Books by the Author

Afterlife – What Will It Be Like?

Answer the Call – Finding Life’s Purpose

Be Holy and Come Near– A Devotional Study of Leviticus

Behold the Saviour

Be Angry and Sin Not

Conquest and the Life of Rest – A Devotional Study of Joshua

Exploring the Pauline Epistles

Forsaken, Forgotten, and Forgiven – A Devotional Study of Jeremiah

Glories Seen & Unseen

Hallowed Be Thy Name – Revering Christ in a Casual World

Hiding God – The Ambition of World Religion

In Search of God – A Quest for Truth

Knowing the All-Knowing

Managing Anger God’s Way

Mind Frames – Where Life’s Battle Is Won or Lost

Out of Egypt – A Devotional Study of Exodus

Overcoming Your Bully

Passing the Torch – Mentoring the Next Generation

Revive Us Again – A Devotional Study of Ezra and Nehemiah

Seeds of Destiny – A Devotional Study of Genesis

The Beginning of Wisdom – A Devotional Study of Job, Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, and Song of Solomon

The Bible: Myth or Divine Truth?

The Evil Nexus – Are You Aiding the Enemy?

The Fruitful Bough – Affirming Biblical Manhood

The Fruitful Vine – Celebrating Biblical Womanhood

The Hope of Glory – A Preview of Things to Come

The Olive Plants – Raising Spiritual Children

Your Home the Birthing Place of Heaven

Table of Contents

Title Page

Other Books by the Author

Preface

Learning from the Past

Don’t Shoot That Arrow

The Early Years

Who is God?

The Wilted Child

Tools for Training

Winning the Heart

Molding the Heart

The Middle Years

Learning Styles

Character Development

Spiritual Development

Teaching Whys Not Just Whats

Sing Unto the Lord

The Continuing Years

Securing the Adolescent Heart

Preparing Children for Marriage

Guiding the Giving of a Heart

Given in Marriage

The Reward of Godly Parenting

Recommended Resources

End Notes

Preface

This book has been ten years in the writing. As children mature, parents tend to forget what they learned in the former years, as it doesn’t directly apply anymore or at least not to the extent that it once did. Rather than learning and forgetting hard-gained parenting wisdom, I have recorded, in an ongoing manner, what my wife and I have learned from Scripture, from other Christian parents, and by practical experience (experience is the name that people assign to their mistakes). Wisdom is something that all parents gain over time, some more than others, and some later than others, and for these the learning is often accompanied by frustration and sorrow. It is our earnest prayer that this resource will alleviate parents from experiencing the latter situation. The Lord has plainly shown my wife and I that He develops parents as He raises up spiritual children for Himself – to this end, we praise God that children survive despite their parents.

Because each new child and each new year brought different challenges and unique experiences to learn from, it seemed only prudent to hold back from publishing an incomplete resource or imparting advice that might later prove to be flawed. Even now, with college-age children, it is understood that there is still much to be explored. However, the burden of the Lord is upon me to compile and share the biblical truths and the practical lessons which have been learned. What further insights shall be obtained, I humbly admit, at this time, are in the fog of ignorance, but what has been discovered, I sincerely offer for the reader’s consideration. The following work is dedicated to my four olive plants (Ps. 128:3) – may each one pursue the Lord their entire life and may each one far surpass their father and mother for the glory of God!

Warren Henderson

Learning from the Past

Two hundred years ago August Wilhelm Von Schlegel wrote, A historian is a prophet in reverse.¹ In sundry times, a prophet was a living mouthpiece for God who both foretold and forth-told divine truth. The historian, however, pieces together the smoking evidence of human exploits apart from God. Lawrence Durrell summarizes, History is an endless repetition of the wrong way of living.² Or as Edward Gibbon explains, Man writes histories; goodness is silent. History is, indeed, little more than the register of the crimes, follies, and misfortunes of mankind.³ Many endeavor to know the future thinking that this information will somehow ensure them of success. Yet, it is not the future, but history that furnishes the best instruction to avoid repeating past blunders. If we choose not to learn from the wrong choices of others, we most certainly will suffer the same ruin.

Paul drew an object lesson from Israel’s history to teach the Corinthian believers about proper behavior and the divine consequences of breaking fellowship with Christ. Paul warns, now these things were our examples (1 Cor. 10:6). Human history inevitably repeats itself when man fails to acquire wisdom from his past failures. Concerning the rearing of children, Scripture provides a wealth of godly counsel. Direct exhortation, principles, warnings, and various real-life examples serve to guide in this strenuous calling. For those neglecting parental stewardship, the harsh reality of divine recompense is witnessed repeatedly in Scripture. One such juncture was God’s sobering judicial announcement given to the nation of Israel through the prophet of Malachi after which Israel experienced four hundred years of divine silence. The next divine word spoken to Israel would be through God’s Son, the Lord Jesus. The unyielding centuries of silence would resound God’s message of displeasure and judgment.

If ye will not hear, and if ye will not lay it to heart, to give glory unto My name, saith the LORD of hosts, I will even send a curse upon you, … But ye are departed out of the way; ye have caused many to stumble at the law; ye have corrupted the covenant of Levi, saith the LORD of hosts. … Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. And did not He make one? … That He might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth (Mal. 2:2, 8, 14-15).

Why did the Lord so severely judge His people? Because husbands were dishonoring Him! They were breaking their marriage covenants with Him and their wives because carnal appetites were drawing them away from God’s best for the family and for themselves. Broken marriages lead to a collapsed home life. Shattered homes become the restless abodes for broken-hearted children. The companionship of one man and one woman for life is God’s primary purpose for marriage (Gen. 2:18). His secondary purpose is His desire for marriage to produce godly seed – not just children, but godly children from godly parents.

Most of the Christian children’s ministry today is aimed at raising moral children. The teaching of right and wrong and of a divine moral standard is necessary, but this agenda will fall pitifully short of producing spiritual children. Children must develop morally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, and academically, to really thrive and reach God’s full potential for their lives. When children have a balanced development they lay hold of self-acceptance and self-awareness of their calling in God’s master plan. In so doing, they gain a sense of importance and security – God is in control and has a plan for my life. God chooses every Christian family for this purpose. But what is a Christian family?

A Christian family is not a household of Christians, but a Christian household. It is more than Christ dwelling within the hearts of family members; it is a family that is pursuing the heart of God. If the Bible is not at the center of family life and all home affairs, that home cannot be called a true Christian home. The vital focus and end objective of every Christian household is the glory of God! C. H. Mackintosh puts forth the matter in the form of a question:

Now, the question for the Christian parent’s conscience really is, Am I counting upon God for my house, and ruling my house for God? A solemn question, surely; yet it is to be feared very few feel its magnitude and power.⁴

The Christian household has God’s desire for the family, as stated in the Bible, as the center of all its activities. It is parents, not the church nor Christian schools, who have the primary responsibility to teach their children doctrine and godly conduct. On this point C. H. Spurgeon is quite pungent:

In this simple way, by God’s grace, a living testimony for truth is always to be kept alive in the land –the beloved of the Lord are to hand down their witness for the gospel, and the covenant to their heirs, and these again to their next descendants. This is our first duty, we are to begin at the family hearth: he is a bad preacher who does not commence his ministry at home. The heathen are to be sought by all means, and the highways and hedges are to be searched, but home has a prior claim, and woe unto those who reverse the order of the Lord’s arrangements. To teach our children is a personal duty; we cannot delegate it to Sunday school teachers, or other friendly aids; these can assist us, but cannot deliver us from the sacred obligation; proxies and sponsors are wicked devices in this case: mothers and fathers must, like Abraham, command their households in the fear of God, and talk with their offspring concerning the wondrous works of the Most High. Parental teaching is a natural duty – who so fit to look to the child’s well-being as those who are the authors of his actual being? To neglect the instruction of our offspring is worse than brutish.⁵

The Bible should become the rulebook for all family matters. The tragedy of not adopting God’s word as the basis for family life is again seen in the example of God’s dealings with the nation of Israel.

And Joshua the son of Nun, the servant of the Lord, died, being an hundred and ten years old. And they buried him … . And also all that generation were gathered unto their fathers: and there arose another generation after them, which knew not the Lord, nor yet the works which He had done for Israel. And the children of Israel did evil in the sight of the Lord, and served Baalim: And they forsook the Lord God of their fathers, which brought them out of the land of Egypt, and followed other gods, of the gods of the people that were round about them, and bowed themselves unto them, and provoked the Lord to anger (Judg. 2:8-12).

After Joshua died, the people ceased to teach their children about the Lord, and as a result, the next generation did not know Him. The aftermath of Joshua’s death illustrates the fallacy of depending upon any spiritual influence outside the family to maintain your family’s spiritual welfare. Consequently, the new generation forsook the Lord and embraced other gods. How did God respond?

Now these are the nations which the Lord left, to prove Israel by them, even as many of Israel as had not known all the wars of Canaan; only that the generations of the children of Israel might know, to teach them war, at the least such as before knew nothing thereof  (Judg. 3:1-2).

God seized the role of the parent in order to teach the new generation about Himself. He loves His people too much to leave them void of truth and the knowledge of His presence. What was God’s instrument for making His presence known? The disciplinary rod of military invasion and conquest. Israel did not remember God’s awesome means of delivering them from slavery and from Egypt, so God used death, invasion, and servitude to awaken them again to His presence. All this occurred because the parents did not reverence God before their children. What is the history lesson for us? Christian parents must teach Scripture to their children so that they might intimately know God. If we neglect this duty the Lord will impose harsher methods to ensure that He is known by our children! Children must be trained up for the Lord.

Untrained children, not surprisingly, remain foolish (Prov. 22:15) and predictably absorb from outside influences what seems appropriate to fill their void of understanding. Children are natural sponges – they are compelled to learn and to develop an understanding of the world in which they live. Billy Graham highlights the danger of neglecting the spiritual aspects of a child’s development: Parents have little time for children and a great vacuum has developed, and into that vacuum is going to move some kind of ideology.⁶ Peter Marshall acknowledges the unfortunate outcome: "Let us not fool ourselves—without Christianity, without Christian education, without the principles of Christ inculcated into young life, we are simply rearing pagans.⁷ The new generation in Israel knew not God, so they embraced false gods, and God had to judge His covenant people – a bitter chastening because the parents neglected to raise spiritual children. The same travesty is occurring today. James Dobson once wrote: Those who control what young people are taught and what they experience, what they see, hear, think, and believe … will determine the future course for the nation."⁸ The vast majority of our nation’s children are being taught in cesspools of humanism. New Age propaganda, evolution theory, and an anti-God agenda are being crammed into the minds of our young people from kindergarten on up. What our children are being taught will directly affect their understanding of God and, consequently, the course of this nation, and even more importantly, how God regards our country. Who is training our children directly impacts what they are being taught.

God’s choice instruments to train children are their parents. Parents have been entrusted with the complete spiritual, behavioral, and academic development of their children. Paul clarifies the responsibility of this stewardship, for the children ought not to lay up for the parents, but the parents for the children (2 Cor. 12:14). Parents, your children will cost you everything: your time, your money, your strength and your life! It is a full-time ministry to eternal souls in a non-eternal world.

Anytime we choose to neglect our parental calling, Satan and the world he manipulates will gladly intrude upon our responsibility. Parenting is a daily 24-hour task, which requires at least one parent being with the children as much as possible. Moses expounds upon God’s command for a continuous parental ministry:

And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart; and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up (Deut. 6:6-7).

Biblical parenting is overwhelming without the Lord’s assistance. I have often been amazed at the innocent confidence that my children have had in their father. You dads know what I mean. Phrases like Dad can fix anything or Dad knows everything put a lot of pressure on a man who knows he falls far short of these accolades. Yet this childlike faith, this living trust, is what the Lord taught adults that they should have in Him; Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God like a little child shall in no wise enter therein (Luke 18:17). Perhaps we adults could learn a bit from our children concerning simple faith.

We desperately need the Lord’s help to be good parents. None of us have attained perfection in this parental role, so might we all humbly bow to God’s wisdom and strive not to repeat the errors of the past. Our children must know God. If the next generation rises up without knowing Him, He will certainly reveal Himself through judicial means to our children. We will have no one to blame but ourselves – it will be our fault!

Don’t Shoot That Arrow

Dad, my then six-year-old son yelled, watch this crazy arrow! His excitement drew my attention from my work. All right, I’m watching I replied. He proudly placed an arrow with orange and blue plastic feathers in his pale-green fiberglass bow. He clinched the string with his right hand and with one quick jerk pulled it to his cheek. He drew in a breath of air and held it confidently. The target was a bale of straw some 40 feet in the foreground. The arrow sprang from the bow and, to my surprise, arced straight into the ground well in front of the intended mark.

Jordan turned to me grinning ear-to-ear, See Dad, it’s a crazy arrow. Let’s take a look at that arrow, I replied. Jordan carefully pulled the arrow out from beneath the canopy of the grass it had invaded. I knelt down beside him and spun the arrow in my hand so he could see. Jordan, I said, the shaft of this arrow is bent. It must be straightened to fly properly. My words were almost without meaning to him for he was more excited about the crazy flight of the arrow than hitting the target. I don’t want you to shoot this arrow any more, I continued. You don’t know where it will strike. It might hurt one of the farm animals. Now his jubilant countenance faded. OoooKay, Dad was his only response, and he returned to his bow to continue shooting straight arrows.

The prophet Ezekiel informs parents that children are born unto the Lord (Ezek. 16:20). The psalmist declares that children are a heritage from the Lord (Ps. 127:3, NKJV) and then explains:

As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man, so are children of one’s youth. Happy is the man who hath his quiver full of them; they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate. (Ps. 127:4-5, NKVJ).

The psalmist reminds us that we are mere stewards, and not owners, of the children that God graciously entrusts to our care. If reared in the ways of the Lord, these skillfully sharpened and straight arrows become a rich blessing to all. In ancient days, children ensured the defense of the family against the attacking enemy. Imagine for a moment, a well-trained and powerful army was approaching your city, bent on destruction, and your only defense was a few archers positioned on the city walls with quivers full of crazy arrows. How would the battle go? Likewise, how effective will our children be in defense of the faith in future years, if they are not straightened by proper discipline and sharpened by God’s Word? How will they stand against the wiles of the devil? Will they fly straight and true in the will of God, or will they curve downward in selfish ambition and worldliness?     

My son’s thrill over the phenomenon of shooting an arrow to an unknown destination pictures the inherent enjoyment we have in pursuing the lusts of our flesh rather than remaining on a path known to be right and God-honoring. Our children are born with sinful natures (Ps. 51:5) and foolish bents (Prov. 22:15). They are awe-inspiring gifts, but nonetheless warped. They may be cute and huggable, but our children, like us, have hearts that are "deceitful above all