Maskerade Quotes

“Nanny's philosophy of life was to do what seemed like a good idea at the time, and do it as hard as possible. It had never let her down.”
― Terry Pratchett, Maskerade

“His progress through life was hampered by his tremendous sense of his own ignorance, a disability which affects all too few.”
― Terry Pratchett, Maskerade

“People who didn't need people needed people around to know that they were the kind of people who didn't need people.”
― Terry Pratchett, Maskerade

“Oh yes? Can you identify yourself?
-Certainly. I'd know me anywhere.”
― Terry Pratchett, Maskerade

“You know, you're rather amusingly wrong.”
― Terry Pratchett, Maskerade

“the IQ of a mob is the IQ of its most stupid member divided by the number of mobsters,”
― Terry Pratchett, Maskerade

“But that was just it - hate was exactly the right word. Hate is a force of attraction. Hate is just love with its back turned.”
― Terry Pratchett, Maskerade

“Well, basically there are two sorts of opera," said Nanny, who also had the true witch's ability to be confidently expert on the basis of no experience whatsoever. "There's your heavy opera, where basically people sing foreign and it goes like "Oh oh oh, I am dyin', oh I am dyin', oh oh oh, that's what I'm doin'", and there's your light opera, where they sing in foreign and it basically goes "Beer! Beer! Beer! Beer! I like to drink lots of beer!", although sometimes they drink champagne instead. That's basically all of opera, reely.”
― Terry Pratchett, Maskerade

“The Departure Aria, a very important and romantic song -
This damn door sticks,
This damn door sticks
It sticks no matter what I do.
It is marked 'pull' and indeed I am pulling
Perhaps it should be marked 'push'?”
― Terry Pratchett, Maskerade

“Walter Plinge said: "You know she asked me a very silly question Mrs Ogg! It was a silly question any fool knows the answer!"
"Oh, yes," said Nanny. "About houses on fire, I expect..."
"Yes! What would I take out of our house if it was on fire!"
"I expect you were a good boy and said you'd take your mum," said Nanny.
"No! My mum would take herself!"
"What would you take out then, Walter?" Nanny said.
"The fire!”
― Terry Pratchett, Maskerade

“There was a wicked ole witch once called Black Aliss. She was an unholy terror. There's never been one worse or more powerful. Until now. Because I could spit in her eye and steal her teeth, see. Because she didn't know Right from Wrong, so she got all twisted up, and that was the end of her.

"The trouble is, you see, that if you do know Right from Wrong, you can't choose Wrong. You just can't do it and live. So.. if I was a bad witch I could make Mister Salzella's muscles turn against his bones and break them where he stood... if I was bad. I could do things inside his head, change the shape he thinks he is, and he'd be down on what had been his knees and begging to be turned into a frog... if I was bad. I could leave him with a mind like a scrambled egg, listening to colors and hearing smells...if I was bad. Oh yes." There was another sigh, deeper and more heartfelt.
"But I can't do none of that stuff. That wouldn't be Right."

She gave a deprecating little chuckle. And if Nanny Ogg had been listening, she would have resolved as follows: that no maddened cackle from Black Aliss of infamous memory, no evil little giggle from some crazed Vampyre whose morals were worse than his spelling, no side-splitting guffaw from the most inventive torturer, was quite so unnerving as a happy little chuckle from a Granny Weatherwax about to do what's best.”
― Terry Pratchett, Maskerade

“But I don't believe in reincarnation!" he protested.
SQUEAK.
And this, Mr Pounder understood with absolute rodent clarity, meant: reincarnation believes in you.”
― Terry Pratchett, Maskerade

“Dedication: My thanks to the people who showed me that opera was stranger than I could imagine. I can best repay their kindness by not mentioning their names here.”
― Terry Pratchett, Maskerade

“You needed at least three witches for a coven. Two witches was just an argument.”
― Terry Pratchett, Maskerade

“(About sweeping)....
What he was in FACT doing was moving the dirt around with a broom, to give it a change of scenery and a chance to make new friends.”
― Terry Pratchett, Maskerade

“But you ain't part of it, are you?" said Granny conversationally. "You try, but you always find yourself watchin' yourself watchin' people, eh? Never quite believin' anything? Thinkin' the wrong thoughts?”
― Terry Pratchett, Maskerade

“What sort of person," said Salzella patiently, "sits down and writes a maniacal laugh? And all those exclamation marks, you notice? Five? A sure sign of someone who wears his underpants on his head. Opera can do that to a man.”
― Terry Pratchett, Maskerade

“Nanny Ogg usually went to bed early. After all, she was an old lady. Sometimes she went to bed as early as 6 a.m.”
― Terry Pratchett, Maskerade

“Just to keep the bad dreams at bay, she took a swig out of a bottle that smelled of apples and happy brain-death.”
― Terry Pratchett, Maskerade

“Other people salted away money for their old age, but Nanny preferred to accumulate memories.”
― terry pratchett, Maskerade

“Nanny Ogg could see the future in the froth on a beer mug. It invariably showed that she was going to enjoy a refreshing drink which she almost certainly was not going to pay for.”
― Terry Pratchett, Maskerade

“There's a kind of magic in masks. Masks conceal one face, but they reveal another. The one that only comes out in darkness. I bet you could do just what you liked, behind a mask ... ?”
― Terry Pratchett, Maskerade

“You can either be on the stage, just a performer, just going through the lines... or you can be outside it, and know how the script works, where the scenery hangs, and where the trapdoors are.”
― Terry Pratchett, Maskerade

“He was up against a mind that regarded truth as a reference point but certainly not as a shackle.”
― Terry Pratchett, Maskerade

“Granny Weatherwax was firmly against fiction. Life was hard enough without lies floating around and changing the way people thought. And because the theater was fiction made flesh, she hated the theater most of all. But that was it—hate was exactly the right word. Hate is a force of attraction. Hate is just love with its back turned.”
― Terry Pratchett, Maskerade

“(About a cookbook...)
- What about this one? Maids of Honor?
- Weeelll, they starts OUT as Maids of Honor...but they ends up Tarts.”
― Terry Pratchett, Maskerade

“Well, basically, there are two sorts of opera," said Nanny, who also had the true witch's ability to be confidently expert on the basis of no experience whatsoever.”
― Terry Pratchett, Maskerade

“Old terror crouched in the shadows. It was one of the most ancient terrors, the one that meant that no sooner had mankind learned to walk on two legs than it dropped to its knees. It was the terror of impermanence, the knowledge that all this would pass away, that a beautiful voice or a wonderful figure was something whose arrival you couldn’t control and whose departure you couldn’t delay.”
― Terry Pratchett, Maskerade

“Ahahahahaha! Ahahahaha! Aahahaha!
BEWARE!!!!!
Yrs Sincerely,
The Opera Ghost”
― Terry Pratchett, Maskerade

“Sometimes life reaches that desperate point where the wrong thing to do has to be the right thing to do.”
― Terry Pratchett, Maskerade