WHATS

INSIDE:

Whats Goin On?

Things to do
and see locally
and nearby.
PAGE 2

Healing from
Food Insecurity:

Beyond the Stash

by Katja Rowell, M.D.

PAGES 3-4

BOREDOM

BUSTERS
PAGE 5

APRIL

2016

R E S O U R C E S , N E W S & I N F O R M AT I O N F O R A D O P T I V E FA M I L I E S I N T E H A M A C O U N T Y

All Adoptive
Families Welcome
Free Childcare
Provided On-Site

April 19 May 17

3:30 - 4:30 PM

345 David Avenue, Red Bluff (North Valley Baptist Church)

Shasta College Foster

& Kinship Care Education
Program Announces
Dates for Spring 2016!
Adoption Series
Adoption Through Foster Care
Options
See inside for descriptions, locations,
dates, and registration information.

Visit TOP on the Web and Enter to Win!

The Together on Purpose website is officially up and running! Take a minute to come check it out at
www.togetheronpurpose.org - find event details, download past newsletters, get in contact with Together
on Purpose or help us test the new online forum for adoptive parents. While you're there, enter the free
drawing to win a copy of Drowning with My Hair on Fire, an exciting new book by Ce Eshelman, an Attachment
Specialist at the Attach Place in Sacramento and adoptive parent.

Drowning with My Hair on Fire

Insanity Relief for Adoptive Parents
By Ce Eshelman
Ce Eshelman has more than five hundred blog followers, many of whom
pled with her for what is now this book. Her self-help memoir, which
includes hundreds of letters to adoptive parents, is
seriously messy, way too personal, mostly informative,
sometimes disorganized, occasionally ridiculous,
irreverent, and often pure crazy town. As a child of
trauma herself, she weaves a compelling story of
raising her own two adopted children from difficult
beginnings, and becoming a therapist with a thriving
practice helping other adoptive and foster parents
with equally huge challenges.

Together on Purpose March 2016

WHATS GOIN ON?

APRIL 2016

19

bTogether on Purpose Network

& Resource Group

Tuesday, March 15, 3:30 - 4:30PM at 345

David Ave., Red Bluff (North Valley Baptist
Church). Come meet with professional
therapist Scott Howell, MFTI and other
Tehama County adoptive families for support,
networking and resource sharing. Free
childcare provided on-site. All adoptive
families welcome. For more information, call
Andrea or Tahnee at 530-528-0300 or email
acurry@atvrb.org. We look forward to seeing
you there!

23

b28th Annual Children's Fair

Saturday, April 23, 2016;

10AM - 2PM at the Tehama District

Fairgrounds. A fun-filled day of activities
and entertainment for children of all ages!
FREE admission! Featuring a variety of fun
activities for children and information on
resources for parents. The Childrens Fair is
a project of the Tehama County Education
Foundation. Mark your calendars!
FREE EVENT.

29

Lifebook Class

Presented by Diane Largent, MSW

Friday, April 29, 9:30 AM - NOON
at Lilliput Children's Services, 289 Rio
Lindo Avenue, Chico. Join us and learn a
therapeutic tool for adoptive parents and
children. Lifebooks can help connect adopted
children to their histories and beginnings
while creating foundations with their adopted
families. Please RSVP by April 15: 530-8961920 or mcrittenden@lilliput.org

APRIL IS NATIONAL

CHILD ABUSE AWARENESS

& PREVENTION MONTH!

Visit www.childwelfare.gov for tips

on raising awareness in your community!

Coming
Events &
Activities

Shasta College Foster & Kinship Care Education Program

Tehama County Classes 2016

Adoption Series:

May 3, 10, 17, 24 & 31

Training for Adoptive Families

6pm-9pm

High Point Assembly Church

625 Luther Road, Red Bluff

Parenting from the Inside Out

From Fear to Love: Parenting your Adopted Child
Attachment in Adoption
Attachment Parenting
Grieving the Person Your Child Could Have Been

To register: Contact Judy Mandolfo at

bethelrbjudy@yahoo.com
or 530-209-7649.

Adoption through
Foster Care

May 5, 12, 19, 26; June 9 & 16

Options Training:

April 11,18,25, May 2,9,16,23

June 6, 13, 20
6pm-9pm

6pm-9pm ATTEND ALL DATES

High Point Assembly Church

Each person interested in adopting a child through
625 Luther Road, Red Bluff
Shasta County Adoptions is required to attend all
18 hours of this training. This training examines
To register: Contact Judy Mandolfo at
the adoption process through the foster care
bethelrbjudy@yahoo.com
system, and through the eyes of the child.
or 530-209-7649.

30 hour class for Caring for

Substance-Exposed Children Ages 0-5 years.
Options trained foster/adoptive parents
and relative care providers understandthe
effects of substance exposure, and are able
to meet the many and varied needs of these
infants, toddlers and young children.

Shasta College Tehama Campus

770 Diamond Avenue, Red Bluff, Room 7208
To Register: contact Sheri Wiggins at 339-3611
or swiggins@shastacollege.edu

Shasta College is an equal educator and employer.

More Resources for Adoptive Families:

Support Groups:

Education:

Yuba, Sutter, Colusa, Glenn Counties

Sierra Forever Families

For Support Groups held in Yreka,

Mt. Shasta, Orland or Sacramento contact
Leslie Damschoder at 530.879.3861

Seminars on topics like Attachment,

Understanding Poverty, Understanding Trauma,
and more. Leslie Damschoder 530.879.3861

Butte County Post Adoptive Services

The Attach Place

Support Group, Drop in Assistance, WRAP

Family Support Group ... For info, call Miko:
530-209-0817, Heather: 916-475-7198 or
Deborah: 530-896-1920

Center for Strengthening Relationships

3406 American River Drive, Suite D

Sacramento, CA 95864
ce@attachplace.com (916) 403-0588

An Alternatives to Violence
Project
possible
through
collaboration
with
the Tehama
County
Department
Social Services
An Alternatives
to made
Violence
project,
madeapossible
through
partnership
with
the Tehama
CountyofPermanency
Team.

Healing from Food Insecurity:

Beyond
the

Whether a child is 15 days or 15 years

old, feeding and nurturing through
shared meals is a critical way to deepen
attachment. Dr. Bruce Perry, of the Child
Trauma Academy, refers to ideal bonding
opportunities as repetitive, relationshipbuilding, patternbased, and involving
the senses which describes the family
meal experience perfectly. But the family
table is not always an easy place for
adopted and foster children. Indeed,
one mom said that her fantasies of
pleasant family meals were met with a
slap in the face when her two children,
adopted from Russia, struggled with
food anxieties and sensory issues.
Unfortunately, conflict around food and
eating habits are more common for
foster and adopted children due to their
past experiences. When conflict defines
interactions around food, those bonding
opportunities are lost, and trust and
attachment can suffer as well.
We had a 15-year-old boy in foster care
with a history of runaway episodes,
Amy recalls. He was gone for about 30
hours. When he came back, I decided
there was no point being upset, so just
told him wed been scared, made sure
he was safe and healthy, and quickly
threw a box of mac-n-cheese on the
stove to get him some comfort food. That
floored him, because it turns out that
hed been denied food in his home after
his running. I think it ended up bonding
him to us much more than anything else
could have.
Parents want to raise children who are
healthy and happy. Many try to instill
healthy eating habits by enforcing
Together on Purpose March 2016

STASH

by Katya Rowell, M.D.

nutrition rules or portion control.

But when raising children who have
experienced food insecurity, healing the
anxiety around food is key to helping
children grow up to be competent eaters
who can self-regulate and learn to eat a
variety of foods.

Food Insecurity Leads to

Survival Behaviors
When children are not fed reliably, do
not get enough food, or have to compete
for enough, they become anxious. When
food-insecure children do have access
to food, they often dont understand
or trust that it is coming again in
adequate amounts. Food insecurity and
unsupportive feeding deeply color the
initial relationship a child has with food.
It can take weeks, months, and even
years of reliable feeding for that trust to
build and for children to believe they will
be fed.
Some children who have been food
insecure
demonstrate
hoarding
behaviors. These survival strategies may
manifest themselves in the following:
Eating quickly
Gobbling or stuffing food
Stealing or hiding food
Eating large quantities, even to the
point of vomiting
Becoming upset if someone eats off
their plate
Getting upset if food is limited or
taken away

Getting upset or eating faster if asked

to slow down
Eating only familiar and safe foods
Keeping food in the mouth for hours,
known as pocketing, which may be
behavioral or a sign of an oral-motor
problem (or both)

Healing Food Anxieties

Deciding whether to stash or not to
stash. Many resources on hoarding
advise allowing the child to have snacks
in his backpack or carry food in a pocket,
or even have containers of food in the
bedroom. Anneliese, mother of two boys,
one adopted, one biological, recalls that
the main feeding advice she got from
her social worker was to let her son carry
around baggies of carrots all day: I just
didnt think that was going to help.
Other experts advise parents to avoid
the stash and serve regular meals and
snacks. The reality is, it is not an eitheror or one-size-fits-all answer.
Parents may decide to offer a stash, or
not, and see how things go. The stash
may help at first, and the child simply
loses interest with time. Consider 18month-old Marcus, who did not want to
let go of his biscuit. He certainly can be
allowed to hang on to the biscuit for a
while, and maybe even have one in his
pocket. Follow his lead. If he throws a
tantrum when its taken away, allow
him to carry it. But the parent also has
to be absolutely reliable about regularly
providing food. Parents may need to offer
food more frequently at first, perhaps
every hour or so.
(Continued on page 4)

An Alternatives to Violence Project made

3 possible

Three-year-old Arielle, adopted at 11

months, was on calorie restriction and
was experiencing intense food anxiety
and preoccupation. Mom let her carry
food in an attempt to address her anxiety,
but Arielle gobbled it up and begged for
more. In this scenario, Arielles actions
were not the hoarding behaviors seen
when a child first arrives from a place
of food insecurity, but were actually
symptoms of a feeding relationship
disruption due to her food restriction
(more below). Letting her have her own
stash of food to carry around didnt work
in this situation.
To facilitate bonding and food security,
food should come from the parents
whenever possible. When a child is
allowed to get food whenever he wants,
he may still feel responsible for getting
his own food. It is a missed opportunity
to nurture and deepen the attachment
with the child. Feeding a child directly
shows him that he will be taken care
of and builds trust. Meeting his needs,
over and over again, is the basis for
attachment.
Reassuring the child with words and
actions. One foster mom had a little boy
she couldnt keep out of the fridge. He
would occasionally eat to the point of
making himself sick. Mom didnt want to
lock the fridge to restrict his food access.
Instead, she assigned him a refrigerator
drawer. She stocked it with familiar food
and told him that the drawer would
always be full, and while he could not
take food at random, this drawer was
his. He checked the drawer often, with
Moms reassurance that it was his
food, and he could help choose from it
for meals and snack times. Mom made
certain it was never empty, and gradually
he forgot about it, mostly because Mom
reassured him with regularly scheduled
meals and snacks.
Another preschool boy, adopted from
Eastern Europe, loved cereal. He would
frantically gobble as much as he could
and cry when limited. His parents
finally realized that when he saw an

empty box, he thought there would

be no more cereal, ever. They were
able to reassure him, and for a while
overstocked the pantry with his favorite
cereals. At breakfast, he was allowed to
eat as much as he wanted, but simple
reassurances and a trip to look at the
pantry helped him realize he would get
enough. Soon he was eating about the
same as his brother and was no longer
anxious at meals.
Being reliable about feeding. While
parents can allow a stash if it works
for their child, the best way to lessen
hoarding behaviors is to lessen anxiety
around food.
Sam had some hoarding issues, but it
didnt last long. We let it run its course.
We chose not to have food available
to the boys all day and night. I didnt
think it would reassure them. I fed them
regularly and sat and ate with them.
They pretty quickly learned to trust they
would get fed. Mia, mother of two
boys adopted at age five and seven
Deborah Gray, in Attaching and
Adoption, wrote about high nurture,
high structure parenting. This dovetails
nicely with feeding in the Trust Model,
pioneered by therapist and nutritionist
Ellyn Satter. Parents provide regular
meals and snacks with balanced and
tasty foods, and the child decides how
much to eat from what is provided.
Keeping initial hoarding from becoming
entrenched food obsession. Even if a
child is labeled as obese or overweight,
she can still feel food insecure, and
attempts to limit her intake will make
her more anxious and prone to overeat.
Many children who experienced food
insecurity have initial behaviors that
scare parents, especially if the child is
bigger than average. A foster child may
be obese and not regulating food intake
due to food insecurity or other factors.
Research tells us
feeding tends to lead
and increased eating
of hunger. I believe

that restrictive
to higher weight
in the absence
food restriction

and efforts to control weight lead to

more entrenched food obsession, with
food-seeking behaviors worsening, not
improving.
It is critical to address a childs initial food
anxiety with nurturing, reliable feeding,
and allow the child to overeat while
she learns to trust her cues of hunger
and fullness. I believe these childrens
food regulation skills are simply buried,
and they can learn to tune in to hunger
and fullness cues. What it boils down
to is this: with reliable, pleasant, and
satisfying meals and snacks, even the
food insecure child will learn over time
that he doesnt have to worry about
when or how much he will get to eat.
Parents get to worry or think about the
food, so the child doesnt have to.
From Adoptalk, published by the North
American Council on Adoptable Children,
970 Raymond Avenue, Suite 106, St. Paul,
MN 55114; 651-644-3036; www.nacac.org
Katja Rowell, M.D. is a graduate
of the University of Michigan
medical school and served
as a family physician
in urban, rural, and
university student health
settings.During her time
in practice, she was
struck by the prevalence of
disordered eating and feeding,
and related health problems.
Rowell believes establishing a healthy feeding
relationship in essence HOW children are fed is
the missing piece in addressing disordered eating
and weight dysregulation. Dr. Rowell provides
personalized solutions and support for parents
with feeding and weight concerns, from selective
eating to food preoccupation.
Dr. Rowell teaches the importance of a healthy
feeding relationship to health care providers,
family therapists and childcare staff and consults
with corporate clients, nutrition education and
public health providers. She has appeared in
the St. Paul Pioneer Press, Betty Crocker Blog,
Parents Magazine, Kare 11 TV, Brain Child
Magazine, The Utne Reader, Twin Cities Live and
Mommy MD Guides, among others. Her writing
has appeared in LiveWell Digest, Huffingtonpost
Parenting blogs, New Moon Girls Magazine, and
Adoptive Families Magazine.
Dr. Rowell's second book, Helping Your Child with
Extreme Picky Eating: A Step-by-Step Guide for
Overcoming Selective Eating, Food Aversion, and
Feeding Disorders, is available on Amazon.

An Alternatives to Violence
Project
possible
through
collaboration
with
the Tehama
County
Department
Social Services
An Alternatives
to made
Violence
project,
madeapossible
through
partnership
with
the Tehama
CountyofPermanency
Team.

A TO Z CONNECT THE DOTS

TIC-TAC-TOE

BOREDOM BUSTERS

Springtime Word Search

D Y

W G

Y W

A L

Y F

D W M H

O R

B M N

U M W W K

H E

M G

W K

Q T

FLOWER

Y T

M D B

LADYBUG

D U

OUTSIDE

PICNIC

R M

K W

W Q

Q M D

L S

K W

M B

U W N

W T

M R M G

T D

W R W

Together on Purpose March 2016

BEE
BIRD
BUTTERFLY

RAINBOW

SPRING

SUNNY

E N

WARM

W W B M

WINDY

An Alternatives to Violence Project made

5 possible

WORD JUMBLE ANSWERS: SHAMROCK, LUCKY, GREEN, IRISH, LEPRECHAUN, GOLD, RAINBOW, POT, CLOVER

L A

BASEBALL

Alternatives to Violence

1805 Walnut Street Red Bluff, California 96080

R E S O U R C E S , N E W S & I N F O R M AT I O N F O R A D O P T I V E FA M I L I E S I N T E H A M A C O U N T Y

2016

APRIL
An Alternatives to Violence Project made possible through a collaboration with the Tehama County Department of Social Services