Unit 8

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Communication Skills

DEFINING HUMAN COMMUNICATION


At the most basic level, none of us com~iiunicatewithout the desire for being understood.
A new-born baby's cry indicates to the caretaker 1 mother that the baby may be Iii~ngryor
wet or u~icomfortable.We thus understaiid that the cry nleans different things at different
times. And yet, tlie mother or the caretaker understands exactly what it means. If there
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was no understanding, the baby would continue to wail.
Human conlrnunicatio~lis thus the process of creating meaning between two or more
people. While there are several definitions of communication \be need a single
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comprehensive one for our understanding.
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Definition
Human Communication is the process through whicli individuals in relationships, groups,
organizations and societies create, traris~nitand use information to obtain an understanding
response in order to organize with the environment and with one another. (Adapted from
Brent, 1988).
Let us review the different components of this detinitio~l.
Process
A process is an activity that has several distinct but inter-related steps that take place
over time. When we organize a ~neetingin the community it is not a single, one time
activity. We try to know Inore about the co~n~ni~nity. understand the d~nanlics, arrive at
an agenda, find a suitable place and time, pass on information about the meeting prior to
the event. Similarlv a disa~reementwith a co-worher or a friend has a historv of several
interrelated events occi~rri~lgover time. j

Individuals, Groups, Orgcmizcrtions cmcl Societies !


All of us develop and maintain ourselves by engaging i n co~nmunicationwith our
environment and the people in it. Communication is our link to the world, our means of
expressing ourselves, influencing others, making impressions and most importantly,
forming relationships. From the most casual of interactions on the bus or in a shop to the
most intimate exchange between friends, lovers, family, communication is the means of
relating, sharing, expressing and exchanging ideas, feelings, and tl~oughts.
Communication is also essential for formal exchanges in groups, organizatioils and
societies. It is through com~nunicationthat we create a web of connections that allows
us to set goals, meet needs, exchange ideas and take collective action.
Creation, Transmission and Use of Infirmutio~zfor un u~zderstnncli~zg response
When we talk of information, we are referring to the message that is created, transmitted
and used by 2 or more communicators to arrive at an understanding. The baby's cry
cited earlier is an example.
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Creation of information means encoding a coherent, meaningful message; collection of I"
data or a set of cues. We are encoding information each time we communicate with !$
someone, for example while facing an interview. Similarly the interviewer is also engaged I
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in the creation of information while decoding the message - interpreting, giving meaning i
and understanding what is being said. &
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Tralzsmission of information refers to the process by which messages are conveyed
fro111one source to another. We use language, gestures, movement, voice and symbols -
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both verbal and non-verbal to transmit hessages. Comn~unicationtechnology may mediate
the co~nrnunicationprocess as with a phone call between colleagues or strangers, emails
in organizations or print and electronic inedia in the process of news transmission. 1
Human communication is about creating an understunding response. Understanding
refers primarily to the accurate reception of the intended stimulus. Communication is
I8
6

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deemed effective if the receiver has hn accurate understanding of the message the Importance and Scope of
Communication Skills
communicator has tried to convey. (Many times we convey messages unintentionally
that are also understood quite clearly).
It is however important to note that only messages are transmitted; the meanings are
made by the communicators. How wonderful it would be if our very meanings were
transmitted along with our messages to those who we are communicating with! There
would be no miscommunication. But because the meanings are in our heads, minds and
experiences, what is meant is not necessarily what is understood!
Take, for example the conversation between 2 colleagues:
Colleague 1 : Whenever I pass by your desk, you seem to be immersed in
work. You are really working hard these days.

I CoNeague 2 : (1ndignantly)Youmeanto say I didn't work hard enough earlier?


Colleague 1 : (Apologetically)Oh no! I was just saying how busy you have
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been last few days.
Colleague 2 : (A little tersely) Yes! I have things to finish.

In reality, Colleague 1 wanted to discuss a personal issue with Colleague 2 and was
hoping to get.some time to do this. But this need was not articulated. Colleague 2 took
offenseat the remarks and failed to understand the reason behind the colleagues' statement.
All of us can recount situations where we have felt misunderstood or have not been able
to fully comprehend the other person. This is because the process of making meaning is
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internal to each communicator. The art of effective communication is to reduce the gap
t
r between intention and action (creation of message) and to ensure that our messages are
I understood the way they were meant in the first place.
1 Organizing w i t i one =nither
Besides obtaining an understanding response, human communication helps us organize
with those around us in the way we use and process information. Communication is
used to build, sustain and terminate relationships, (e.g. spousal, doctor-patient, employer-
employee, student-teacher), to ensure a sense of well-being (as seen in greetings such as
'Hello'; 'Hi'; 'How are you', entertainment programmes, TV serials, movies as well as
informal exchanges in organizations) and to bring about desired action (e.g. to have a
defective electrical gadget replaced by the company or motivating your team to achieve
the desired results).
The definition of communication discussed above is used to facilitate our understanding
of the term. The outcomes of communication discussed in the section on 'organizing
with one another ' are neither exhaustive nor mutually exclusive. Readers are urged to
arrive at their own undirstanding, definition and purpose of communication based on
the foregoing discussion.
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8.3 MODELS OF COMMUNICATION
Aristotle viewed communication as an 'art of persuasion' where the speaker inspired the
listener to be receptive to the message. He focused on the oratory skills of the speaker
whose'main purpose of communication was to influence the audience in agreement to
the views expressed by the speaker.
In the early years of twentieth century, as the field of communication study grew,
psychologists, sociologists, political scientists and anthropologists became interested in
the role of communication in individual and social process. Several theories were
developed by scholars belonging to behavioural and social science disciplines. For
example, psychologists focused on persuasion and social influence and its role on attitude
Communication Skills

The following section summarizes some key models of communication later elaborating
on the transactional model of communication.
Early Models of Communication: The 1940s - the 1960s
Political scientist Xorold assw well developed his model in 1948 as a result ofhis work in
the area of propaganda. Accordingto him, communication process could be best explained
through the statement: "who said what to whom in what channel, with what effect".
This can be represented in the following figure:

Fig. 8.1: Lasswell's Model of Communication.


El Effect

Like Aristotle, Lasswell was concerned with 'effect', or how the speaker influenced the
listener. This view of communicationfocuses on the verbal message and is linear, meaning
the message is being transmitted via a channel to the listener.
a A year after Lasswell proposed his model, Claude Shannon made public the research he
had undertaken for Bell Telephone to study problems of signal transmission. Shannon &
. Weavers' model is based on this work and they were the first to introduce the concept of
'noise' in the communication process. According to them, 'noise ' was any distortion
that interferes with the transmission of the message from the source to the destination.
Their view of communication was also broader than Lasswell's. It went beyond the
verbal or written message to include 'art, music, theatre and a11 human behaviour that
may affect another mind'.
Wilbur Schramm in 1954 developed his model wherein he saw communication as a
purposeful effort to establish commonness between a source and receiver, noting that
the word communication is derived from the Latin word communis which meant common.

A source may be an individual (speaking, writing, drawing, gesturing)or a communication


organization (like a newspaper, publishing house, television station or motion picture
studio). The message may be in the form of ink on paper, sound waves in the air, impulses

. According to Schramrn, whether or not a message is received at the destination in the


manner intended by the source depended on the commonality of experiences. (e.g ,

common language, common backgrounds, and a culture). He called this $eld of


experience' which, if uncommon, would result in the message being interpreted
erroneously. . ..

Schramm proposed that when the receiver provided feedback, s h e became the

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communication process. Each individual was viewed as both the source and recipient of Importance and Scope of
messages, with communication process being circular rather than linear as with earlier Communication Skills
models. (See Figure 8.2)

Fig. 8.2: Schramm's Model of Communication


Source: The Process and Effects of Mass Communication : Ed. By Wilbur Schramm. In Brent, 1988

One of the most frequently cited models in the field of communication study is the one
proposed by David Berlo (1960). This model highlights 4 components, viz. source,
message, channel and receiver or SMCR as popularly known. Some factors that influence
the communication process are (i) attitudes, skills, knowledge, culture and social system
of the source as well as the receiver. (ii) content, treatment and code of the message and
(iii) all 5 senses (touching, feeling, seeing, tasting, hearing) as information channels.
The Transactional Model of Communication '
The most contemporary view of communication, the transactional takes all the elements
of the models discussed above and builds on them. From the transactional viewpoint,
instead of a two-way flow, simultaneous processes are going on all the time - both
verbal and non-verbal. In transactional communication all behaviours are communicative
(Tubbs and Moss, 1980). The transactional model is presented in Figure 8.3.

COMMUNICATIVE INTERFERENCE
STIMULI

Communicator 1 Communicator 2

Sender

COMMUNICATIVE
INTERFERENCE STIMULI

Fig. 83: The Transactional Model of Communication


Source: Human Communication, Tubbs and Moss, 1980
Communication Skills Let us now look at the different components of the model.
Communicator 1 and 2 or the Sender and Receiver: Here are two persons trying to
transmit and receive a message. Both are receivers and senders of messages. Both are
simultaneously influencing and being influenced by each other. Thus, the transactional
view also emphasizes that one changes as a result of the communication event and that
both communicators are interdependent.
Input: This includes all the stimuli, both past and present that give us our information
about the world. Our experiences, beliefs and attitudes, likes and dislikes influence our
communication significantly. Each communicator thus brings to the communication
situation his I her life experiences and the communication progresses (or sometimes
regresses) based on our inputs.
Filters: Filters are limits on our capacity to sense or perceive stimuli. Filters can be
physiological (you can hear only certain decibels, or see upto a certain distance) and
psychological (our predispositions to respond in a particular way). Physiologicalfilters
are biological limitations on our capacities and cannot be reversed. Psychologicalfilters
on the other hand are built in over a period of time as a result of our socialization,
upbringing and cultures we live in. We have sets about people - how certain people
must look, behave or talk. Our communication is based on the filters inherent in each
one of us. -
Activity 1
Think of the sets you have in your mind about certain groups of people on the basis
of their caste, class, gender, age. How do these sets influence your communication?
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Communica.tionStimuli*:These include all verbal and non-verbal messages or cues we


send out during the communication process. They can be both intentional and
unintentional. The words and language we use to construct messages are verbal stimuli;
cues from our face and body are non-verbal stimuli. While we can determine our verbal
messages, we only have limited control over our non-verbal cues.
Channels: Channels of communication include all the media used to transmit messages.
In face to face communication, sensory organs are the channels. In organizational
communication, notices, circulars, letters, bulletin boards, e-mails are the main channels.
In mass communication, print and electronic media (newspapers, television, radio, films,
and computers) are the primary channels.
Interference or Noise: Anything that distorts the informatiorf,$ansmitted or distracts the
receiver from receiving it is noise. Noise can be in both commbnicators. Day-dreaming
or private planning can distract the receiver from receiving the message. Similarly, a
speaker saying 'you know' at the end of each sentence can effectively mar the
communication process. Consider this scenario: You are in a hurry to attend a meeting
and are rushing to the meeting room. On the way you meet a colleague and casually ask
"How are you?" If the colleague begins to share his I her woes or tells you how difficult
it was to get to the office in time due to delayed trains that becomes noise to you.
. Having understood the transactional model of communication, let us now examine some
principles to keep in mind in ordef'to avoid erroneous communication.
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Importance and Scope of
8.4 PRINCIPLES OF COMMUNICATION Communication Skills

a Seek first to understand, then diagnose and prescribe: Stephen Covey in his
book titled '7 Habits of Highly Effective People' gives an example of a father who
complains that he is unable to understand his son as the son doesn't listen to him.
After repeating, "I don't understand my son, he just doesn't listen to me", several
times, the man realizes that in order to understand another person, one must deeply
listen and only with the intention of truly wanting to understand. The most important
principle of communication is our quest to understand the other person with our
mind, heart and soul, deeply, without judging, without censoring. Many a time we
struggle to make ourselves be understood. If the person does not open up to the
experience of wanting to understand the other person deeply, the struggle continues.
(This principle is elaborated upon in the section on Listening).
Covey says seeking first to understand is like opening an emotional bank account. If
you invest yourself emotionally, fully, you will get high returns in the form of a
rewarding communication experience. Only when one truly understands the other
person can one begin to explore for causes of problems and solutions.
a Face to Face Communication is most effective: One of the requirements within
any organization is to put everything down on paper, in writing. While all of us
follow this dictum, how many of us have chosen to precede or follow up our written
communication with a personal discussion 1 meeting? The preferred channel of
communication in such instances is the face to face discussion. In a face to face
interaction, we are able to observe and respond to verbal and non-verbal cues, the
inconsistence between the two, offer feedback and seek clarifications. Some of
this is not possible for example, when we are engaged in a telephonic conversation.
The moment the channels of communication increase, there are greater chances of
being misunderstood. In difficult situations, particularly when we wish to avoid a
confrontation, we often try to settle things through writing or telephone conversations.
Have these worked for us in the past or has it only led to more problems and greater
dissatisfaction?
a Communication becomes complex as the number of people we are
communicating with increases: In an interaction involving only two people, the
number of communicative stimuli, both verbal and non-verbal, is limited. One is left
to deal with and manage the partner's interactions and s t r u c t u ~one's response
based on the cues received from the partner. But as the number of people increases,
stimuli, feedback, channel3 also increase and c o m r n u n i c a t i o ~ ~ c o ~Zmplex.
nrs
Suppose you are talking to a group of 5 persons. Four ofthem are listening intently
to you while the fifth one seems bored and uninterested. If you continue, you have
lost the opportunity to understand the reason for hisfher disinterest and modify your
delivery. However, if you single this person out, s h e might feel cornered while
others may become impatient. Thus in a group context, one has to manage several
different aspects of communication in order to be effective.
a Communication across cultures differs: Culture can be defined as shared
. knowledge, symbols, conventions, folklore, language, habits, rituals, rules and lifestyles
that link and give a common identity to a particular group of people at a given point
in time. From the above definition, it follows that each group has unique
communication patterns that are accepted and understood universally by that group.
For example, belching after a hearty meal in India and other eastern countries is
appreciating the culinary skills of the hostlhostess. In North American culture, the
same may be highly offensive. Substance users have a language oftheir own which
is not easily understood by those outside the sub-culture. Not giving eye-contact to
a member of the opposite sex or who belongs to a higher castefclass is common
among Indians. To a Westerner, the same gesture may mean lack of earnestness or
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Communication Skills
context of the people we are interacting with.
Communication is affected by time: Particularly in intimate relationships, after a
disagreement, we hear people saying 'Let's start afresh!' Unfortunately this is not
easy. Relationships, communication patterns and styles change over time. After
many years of being together, a couple may come to perfectly understand each
other and just a glance across a crowded room is enough to let the partner know
what it means. On the other hand, if the relationship has deteriorated over time,
each communication event becomes painful. Pleasant and unpleasant memories
are stored as input (refer Transactional Model of Communication discussed earlier)
and are used in subsequent communication events. While dealing with people we
need to pay attention to how communication patterns have evolved and ways in
which some need to be changed.
Feedback is the key to effective communication: Communication transactions
continue to evolve effectively in the presence of feedback. Try talking to a person
with a deadpan face. Chances are, very soon the enthusiasm with which you started
will wane. Conversely if the audience responds with nods, smiles, anything that
conveys attention and interest, the speaker is encouraged to continue. Feedback
also indicates what about communication stimuli needs to change.

Activity
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2
Ask two people to role-play the following scenario:
1. Tell them this is a telephonic conversation between two friends who haven't
met for the last six months.
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2. Get them to sit across a room with their back facing each other
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3. Give separate situations written on a piece of paper to each one
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4. After they have read the situation they start the telephone conversation
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.5. The conversation can continue for about 5 minutes
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importance and Scope of
Situation A: You haven't met or talked your friend in the last six months. You have Communication Skills
securedadmission for higher studies to a prestigious university abroad. You are passing
through the city where your friend lives. You have a few hours before your flight takes
off. You are excited about going abroad for studies and wish to share the news with your
friend. If possible, you also wish to meet himher. Call your friend and share the exciting
news.
Situation B: You have lost a dear cousin in a car accident 7 days ago. You were particularly
close to this cousin and are unable to get over the news of the sudden and untimely
death. Your friend, who hasn't been in touch with you for the last six months suddenly
calls you and is in a great mood to chat. You are in no frame of mind to entertain anyone.
Discussion
1. What did you notice about the conversation between the two friends?

2. What happened and why?


3. How did each person who played the friend feel while talking on the phone?

4. What could have been done differently (without changing the scenarios)?

5. What principles of communication can you apply to this scenario?


6. What is your learning from this exercise?

8.5 COMMUNICATION SKILLS: MANAGING


VERBAL MESSAGES
A verbal message is any type of spoken communication that uses words in a conscious
attempt to convey events, facts, emotions. Verbal messages can be intentional or
unintentional. Let us look at 3 types of verbal communication:
i) Literal-Verbal: In this type, we communicatefacts or feelings by the logical use of
words. For example, giving directions, explaining rules, expressing our emotions.

ii) Unverbalised Phonptations: These are all the groans, grunts, whines, sighs through
which we communicate love, hate, joy, boredom, pain, sorrow. For example, a worker
heaves a sign of relief when informed of his transfer to a department of his choice.

) Extraverbal Communication: This is communication of ideas conveyed by the


implied meaning of words as differentfrom the logical content / use of words. This
type of communication is very often unconscious and includes innuendoes, change
of stress given to words, voice and tone. For example, when a client asks for help,
the social worker assures all help. 'It later turns out that the client only wanted
financial help whereas rendering such help did not fit within the mandate of the
organization. The.notion of 'help' as meant by the client and understood by the
social worker differed greatly.
Eflectiveness of Verbal Messages
Three characteristics of effective messages are (i) efficiency, (ii) appropriateness and
(iii) flexibility.
i) Eficcienncy: An efficient message is clear, brief, simple, well-timed and direct so
that others can absorb, reflect and respond to it. Consider this example: A worker
from anNGO meets a client for the first time. She introduces herself and her role by
saying, "Good morning, my name &Anita;I work with XYZ organization as a social
wor)rer. lam. here to help you and others like you. You could meet me in the ofice
any day or if you prefer, we could tneet at your place, or even in the community.
When we meet, that will beyour time todiscuss your problems, issues. Or you may
choose not to say anything at all. There will be no pressure on you to do anything.
If you wish, you could meet anyone else other than me and you yill still get help. It
is important that you speak up and tell us your problems. Now tell me, do you have
anything to say or ask?'The client nods her head frorn side to side and stares at the
social worker.
Activity 3
How would you rate the above interactioh on the criteria for efficient messages?
What are your reasons for such an evaluation? Construct an introduction that is
efficient.
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b

ii) Appropriateness: While constructing messages, it is important to keep in mind the


cultural and educational background of the groupdindividuals we are communicating
with. For example, if you want to educate a group of women belonging to a lower
socio-economic group about HIVJAIDS, use of technical terminology will render
. your message ineffective. Details about the condition can be given in a way that is
understood. Our messages thus need to be appropriate. Is the person receiving too
much or too little? Problems in constructing effective messages are oflen created
due to:

a) Overloading or giving information that is not sought or is beyond a person's


comprehension. For example telling a 5 year old about sexual intercourse in
response to a question 'Where did I come from?' is overloading. Keeping it to
the point and simple would help both the child and the adult. Some ways of
overloading are too much talk, too much information, providing irrelevant
information (to the context, age and background of the person), forcing
discussion on unwanted topics and use of language that is not understood by
the listener. In such instances, our own anxiety and discomfort with the subject
matter is evident and also the onus of interpreting the information rests on the
listener.

b) Underloading is typically seen in hierarchical contexts of relationships. (e.g.


docFor-patient, worker-client, parent-child). We underestimate the intelligence
and comprehension capacity of the other person and don't give information
that is needed for the person to respond effectively. For example, while revealing
HIV positive status, health workers may say "khoon kharab ho gaya hain
(the blood has got spoilt) to which the person may justifiably ask, "Tohsaaf
kaise hoga?" (How will it become clean again?) Not discussing the
implications of the diagnosis takes away the opportunity from the person to
assume responsibility in dealing with the diagnosis.
iii) Flexibility: Messages need to be flexible depending on the communication style,
needs, personality, socio-cultural background of the persons with whom we are
communicating. We should be in a position to alter our style and message on the
basis of behavioural, verbal, and non-verbal cues sent by the individual or groups.
For example, a worker may visit an elderly couple to make an assessment of their
economic status. But the couple, that particular day, is preoccupied with the news
of ille~rbo11.s lnarriage w~llioutl~iforn~atio~l
to his elderly parcn~s.All cf!i-c:i:c. trrnorteri:c ~ f i i ;Sc3pe o f
C'r-nrnu.;rcar!r.r! Skills
co~nrllu~licator is one who is flexible with her agenda, puts aside the assessmenl at
least for sorrle time and is willi~igto listen to what is top~iioston the couplc'r, 11lil1.J.

ConrnrunicafirrgFeelings

One of the challenges in, constructing verbal messages is to con~niuni;ate 1Poli1igs


I -

effectively. This is a skilled response and we need to learn as well as teach the 4alnr; tri
groups we work with. Acoi~~rnorl rule to follo\v is to own our feelings and describe thcni
accurately.This could be done by using ' I feel ............ ' statements. For esal~?ple.
when
\ve feel angry and hurt, we may sulk, witlidraw or displace our anger oq a~iotllcrpcrsoli.
Such indirect expression of feelings is ineffective as the message is not clzarly rcCei\ed
and understood. It is important to achieve congruence in what we feel, say and do. Take
the following exercise to understand and modify the way you comniunicate. lf you :lot ice
discrepancies, the time to change is now.

Activity 4
Write down your responses in each of the situations described below
I. Solneorie compliments you for your work
I feel -

2. A co-worker keeps you waiting for more than 30 minutes despite a prior
appoi~lt~i~ent
I feel -

I say
I do
3. Your boss blames you for no fault of yours
I feel
1 say -
I do
4. A friend bangs down the phone in the rniddle of an argument
1 feel .

5. A colleague repeatedly arrives late for department meetings


I feel
I say

6. A subordinate does not do the task assigned to him. As a result the pro.iect is
likely to suffer
Commm~krtiomSkills
I say
I do
7. Your boss who is usually distant and detached, suddenly'acts very friendly one
day
I feel
I say
I do
8. A colleague asks you a favour when you are very rushed for time
I feel
I say
I do
9. You are not informed about an important social event in your organization and
learn about it at the last minute
I feel
I say
I do
10. Because you are an efficient worker, you are given many different assignments
I feel
I say
I do

Some Common Errors to Avoid in Verbal Messages

Labelling or Name Calling : "Don't be foolish, stupid, silly" or "You are always late!"
Commanding : "Just shut up" or "Do it now, okay?"
Questioning : "Whydoyoualwaysdothesamemistake?"or"Whyare
you always late for meetings?"
Sarcasm : "Oh, how cane you are on time today?'or "Sure, I will do
it this time too.. . Don't I always?"
I
Accusatory : d whole &ing got delayed because of you"
The above styles of communication are highly ineffective as they make the listener
defensive and closed to any change. In fact s h e may just turn off and stop listening to
whatever else you may have to say. Slhe may also feel insulted, rejectcd'and hurt and
you lose the opportunity to build a meaningful relationship.

8.6 COMMUNICATION SKILLS: THE NON-


VERBAL MESSAGE
Communication experts say that 94 per cent of all communication is non-verbal and only
6 per cent is verbal. Yet we spend so mui:~time and effort managing our verb&messages!
Not that it does not matter, but the fact is that both our verbal and non-verbal messages lnlyortance and Scope of
need to be congruent. If what we are saying is negated or contradicted by our non-verbal Communication Skills
cues, others are more likely to pick up and respond to the non-verbal message than the
verbal.
Visualize this scenario: Acolleague 1client 1 patlent walks into your room. You are in the
middle of finishing some writing task. You welcome the person in, ask what slhe wants ,
and as the person begins to spcak, continue to write the unfinished sentence. The person
stops midway, you look up a~ldurge the person to continue saying you are listcning. The
person will continue o~llyhesitatingly, not fulJy co~lvinccdthat you are payirig attelltion
until you put the writing aside. What happened here? Your verbal and non-,verbal messages
said different things. Non-verbally you communicated the importance and priority you
assigned to your writing while verbally assuring the person ofyour attention. The pcrson
was quick to perceive your preoccupation with your writing.
This sectio11discusses the different aspects of non-verbal nlcssages highlighting its place
in human comniunication.
Jurgen Ruesch, a ps-lchiatrist and Weldon Kees, a film producer, were two of the first
people to devote thrmselves to a serious study of non-verbal commuriication (Tubbs &
Moss, 1980). According to Ruesch & Kees (1956), we express non-verbal messages
through the following:

i) Sign laaguage where we use gcsturcs to rcplacc words, numbers, punctuation marks
(c.g. shrug of shoulders).

ii) Action language are all movements that we do not use exclusively as signals but
these unintentionally co~nmunicatemessages (e.g. walking, running, eating). The
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pace of walking and body posture indicates if we are in a hurry or pre-occupied in
our thoughts or feeling sad.
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i
! iii) Object language is the intentional or unintentional display of material things (e.g.
1 wearing a tie for a formal occasion, use of black beads to indicate marital status,
1 wearing expensive clothes and jewelry for a community meeting).
' Non-verbal communication is often described in terms of language. Anthropologist
Edward Hall refers to non-verbal communicalioii as 'the silent language of space and
I time" (1959, p.15). One writer has referred to the mass marches, black arm bands,
hairstyles and clothing of a particular decade as a form of 'body rhetoric' (Hariman,
1969). Regardless of how we classify the languages of non-verbal communication, one
commonality is that we use ?hecues to interpret and understand human behaviour. A cue
is anything that serves as a signal or a message to another person.
Let us now undcrstand the different types of cues used during non-verbal communication.
Spatial Cues

i Edward Hall called the study of spaccproxe~rzics.According to Hall, human relationships


can bedescribed in tcrms of four kinds of distance. These are:

i) Intinzate Distance is up to eighteen inches CK less where two people are in closc
physical proximity. Sensory inputs are heighteiied through eye contact, touch and
speech. The matters undcr discussion are usually confide'htial, ui'ten carried out in
hushed tones. T h k h - o f distance is considered inappropriate in public places in
Illdial1 culture.
.-
A -.--.---Distance&Irish according to Hall, is from 4 feet, is
...,------- - ~ ~1 jlldividual mdintains bctweell self ant; o F r c A
J that
hnllndarv +hL

usually interact with persons close to us or friends


hi Social Distance extends from four to twelve feet. Interactiorls in official discussions,
social gatherings take place at this distancc.

iv) Public Distance extends beyond twelve feet. Formal meetings, lectures, public
gatherings are examples of human interactions at this distance. The physical distance
automatically protects us from any unwanted touching. Speech is usually loud and
there is limited scope for eye contact.
Each one of us has an invisible boundary that prevents others from transgressing our
personal, private space. How do you feel if someone picks up your coffee mug from
your table, uses it and leaves it unwashed? Our response would perhaps depend on who
this person is. Some of us would not mind it, no matter who takes the mug, others may
fcel cxtrenlely violated /angry at this invasion. What marks our response is our notion of
personal space and how we protect it. This is known as the coricept of territoriality or
how we claim our territory. We do it through the use of objects, clothing, even body
language. Robert Sommer (1969) talked of personal space which can be thought of as a
person's portable territory, which each person carries along wherever s/he h a y go.
Each culture has norms of conventions related to appropriateness of distance h s e d on
relationship, gender, age, caste and class. Spatial cues as described by Hall and Sommer
give us important information about how we use the concept of space and distance in our
relationships.
Temporal Cues
Chronernics is the study of human communication through the use of time. We make

Visual Cues
All cues we receive through our eyes amount to visual cues. The greater our visibility,
the greater is o w pote~ltialfor communication. Similarly, the greater the number ofchannels
a communicator uses, the more information is received. Visual cues add to the infoimation
transmitted through othcr channels and at times stand alone. Visual cues include facial
expressions, eye contact and body movehents. However, the entire communication
context needs to be observed before making any inferences based on the cues received.
Let us understand visual cues in terms of the following:

i) Fuciol expressions indicat~the emotions experienced. There are some statistically


significant norms like a kilt-raised eyebrow (conveys skepticism, worry, questionink;)
or half-closed eyes (may convey boredom, happiness, tiredness) that convey
messages even in the absence of the spoken word.

iii Eye contactisaq j m p q f t g e t of non-verbal communication. Eyes are considered


a valuable source of ibbuildjion. Establishing and maintaining eye contact is often

with another perso: is


--
seen as the first step; conveysn5 a meaningful relatiod@. Maintainingeye contact
- ---a and sincerity. No wonder then
inappropriate a w e . similarly, rolling the
that staringat a f i i l i v ~ ddiwspect to a penon in Pulhority.
eyes conveys host'
9
Those i e - ilelpibg i'rofessions are known to maintain eye confactto a much
, yat.raegree t i l a n o t h ~This
. is because eyes are often used to comfort and calm
18 Y
-
I

people and can communicate emotions very strongly. However in some cultures lmportanre am8 Firape of
giving eyb contact to a pcrson of the opposite sex or a person in authority is considered Corsansara~iertion~ h i ! ! s
I
I inappropriate and disrcspcctful. Our clients lnay thus not look us in the eye. This
I
should not be however construed as resistance to rapport building or sharing personal
1 information about themselves.

i Body n~oven~ents indicate the intensity of emotions experienced. A slouching position.


may convey disinterest or a relaxed frame of mind; tapping of fingers, impatience, a
stirf posture, hostility or anxiety and leaning forward. interest and attentiveness. It is
iinportant for helpers and managers to pay attention to body movcmqnts, particularly
to notice any contradictions in verbal and iio~~verbai communication.

L iv) Touch is an important channel of non-verbal communication as it conveys support,


empathy and understanding in the abscnce of words. It is particularly invaluable
while conveying emotions to the hearing and visually impaired. Touch however,
needs to be used judiciously as it is steeped in taboos and sanctions. Who can touch
whom, where and in what context needs to be examined carefully. For example, in
the lndian context, it is inappropriate, even within the helping relationship to touch a
person of thc opposite sex. At niost, it could be a handshake or a pat on the shoulder.
I
Children who have experienced sexual / physical abuse might feel violated at
unwarranted, unexpected touching.
Vocal Cues
Several distinct emotions can be accurately identified solely on the basis of vocal cues.
Vocal cues also influence our judgments about personality and social standing. Vocal
cues include volume, rate of speech, fluency and pitch. Let us look at each of these
briefly. ,
i) Volunie:One precondition for effective verbal conimunication is adequate volume.
Too loud or too low can both be ineffective. Persons who increake their loudncss
may be seen as inore dynilniic or aggressive. Speaking softly rnay be interpreted as
being secretive.

ii) Rate of Speech: Rate of speech is the number of words spoken per minute, and the
average speaking rate is about 125 words per minute. A faster rate is usually linked
to fear or anger and a slower rate to grief or depression. When we hear people
labouring over their sentences, we bccon~eso bored and impatient that we want to
finish the sentence for thcrn. On the other hand, a person with the machine-gun
type of delivery runs tlic risk of being unintelligible.
iii) Fluency: Fluency or continuity of our speech is closely related to rate. Piuses
while speaking affect fluency. While short pauses can be effective, longer pauses
can kill interest. Similarly, too much description or detai'l destroys effectiveness of
the vertial message.

iv) Pitch: Pitch is the frequency level of the voice. A ~ ~ o n o t o n o pitch


u s can be very
boringand aperson with a high pitch voice can be unpopular. While pitch level does
not dffect the amount of information we understand, it definitely influences our
attitude both towards the communicator and the content of the message.
It is important to understand and interpret non-verbal messages so that we can
modify the action 1 interaction accordingly and maintain congruency between our
..,
verbal and non-verbal cornrnunication.
_
I
,
,

Functions of Non-Verbal Messages

i) Non-verbal messages can convey inforpation in the absence of verbal cues (e.g,
clapping to convey appreciation) .
ii) Non-verbal messages can reillforce a verbal message so that meaning is conveyed
quickly and easily (e.g. raising your hand while speaking to indicate your desire to
finish or a pause to indicate importance attached to one part of the speech)
iii) Non-verbal messages can contradict a verbal message. This is called double bind
comr~~unication where the verbal and non-verbal messages are not in sync with
each othcr, leaving the listener confused and bewildered (e.g. welcoming a person
and looking at your watch or saying you are not angry in a cold harsh tone)
Possible reactions to this kind of communication could be that the listener

as picks up the verbal and ignores the rest

e picks up the non-verbal and ignores the verbal

r igrlores the whole message

e commellts on the incongruency and seeks clarification

Ln life situations, however, it is not often that we comment on the contradictionsin verbal
and non-verbal messages. We pick up the non-verbal (e-g. she is not really listening, she
is preoccupied with her writing) but respond to the verbal (I continue my talk when she
urges me to, assuring me that she is listening). We however feel peeved and will remember
this experience, particularly in our next interaction with this person.

The above discussion brings us to perhaps the most important of non-verbal skills -
listening. The following section focuses on listening as a skill of non-verbal communication.

Listening

Most of us listen at the following levels:

as Passive listening where we take in, absorb all that the other person has to say
without necessarily responding.

Selective listening or paying attention only to some parts while pretending to listen to
tlre whole. E.g. an adult 'listening'to a child's chatter while reading the newspaper
and intermittently saying 'Oh and Aha' to convey the impression of attentiveness.

s Active listening where we nod, seek clarifications, paraphrase the content and
respond. Those who have undergone training in human services or the helping
professions will recall that one of the first lessons we learn on communication is
related to 'active listening'. Paying attention, respnding effectively,asking appropriate
questions, sqcking clarifications is integral to active listening. The only danger here
is that the helper is more often than not.preoccupied with hisher response. 'What
am I going to say next3s at the back of our heads preventing us from listening fully
to the person sitting across.

Few of us understand and practice what Stephen Covey calls empathic listening. Empathic
listening, according to Covey, is to truly listen with the intention of completelyunderskinding
the person sitting across. We do this with not only our ears but more importantly with our
eyes, heart and mind. Empathic listening means that we ~uspendour judgments, our
beliefs and our notions about people. It also means that we aie only listening and are not
preoccupied with our possible responses, not even with conveying to the person that we
are listening! One Of the greatest human needs is to be understood. ' Our efforts in
listening need to be drected at understanding the other person. When we listen wia
our eyes, heart and mind, we not only listen to what is iaid, but more importantly what is
20 not said. We pay attention to all the non-verbal cues, absorbing and responding to them. :
We listen to the feelings experienced by the person, which are not necessarily expressed Inlportonce and Scope o f
verbally. For example, wllcn a woman walks in crumpled clothes, talks in a low voice, Cammunica&~n Skills
sits with her shoulders drooping and downcast eyes but responds with "I am okay" to
your question ofUHoware you today?", your voice and words need to communicate that
she doesn't seem so fine rather than moving on with a predefined agenda. She will
instantly open up and you have opened an emotional bank account in Covey's words.
Listening is both an art and skill that needs to be cultivated. Only then can we truly be
effective communicators.

1. .In the next 10 days, observe yourself as an empathic listener.


.......................................................................................................................
.......................................................................................................................
.......................................................................................................................
2. Each day choose at least one interaction meaningful to you and rate yourself
on how well you have listened to both the said and the unsaid.
.......................................................................................................................
.......................................................................................................................
.......................................................................................................................
3. Identify and list factors that prevent you from listening effectively.
.......................................................................................................................
.......................................................................................................................
.......................................................................................................................

8.7 IMPORTANCE OF FEEDBACK


Giving feedback is an essential aspect of all two way communications. It is through
feedback that we learn to see ourselves as others see us. However, people can become
defensive while receiving feedback in order to preserve their sense of self. Under the
.I. guise of giving feedback, the sender can violate the receiver's serlse of self and thus
" prevent the effectiveness of feedback. If there is no trust, caring, acceptance, openness
and a concern for the needs of others, feedback can be completely lost.
Giving and receiving feedback is not an easy task, it is a skilled respouse. In order that
feedback is effective, we must keep in mind the following principles:
Principles for effective feedback
i) Feedback is most effective when it is solicited. Only when a person is open to
learning about self can feedback be given. One may nced to build a strong enough
relationship so that feedback is valued.

ii) Feedback is never given to nluke the senderfeel beffer. There are times when
we wish to comment on the other persons' actions, behav~ours,just in order to get it
'out of our system'. Such feedback is never well-received or valued.

iij) Feedback needs fu be ylunned. Only while giving complinlents can one be
spontaneous and generous. We need to exercise restrain while giving feedback,
if it is negative. It needs to be planned in advance so that both the giver
and the receiver are prepared for the discussion.
Cor~omunicat~on
Skills iv) 1414~edbuck
slroufd be well-timed. Delayed feedback is ineffective a s the person
may deny certain beliaviours or forget abo,lt a situation following a I O I I ~ lapse of
time. Whenever possible, feedback slmuld be given soon after the event.

v) Stuy in t/rr here andnow. While giving feedbac:: never bring up past issues. Refer
only to the present event, action, behaviour. "Thebe and then' type of feedback can
be counter productive.

vi) Focus on the behaviour, not the person. Faedbpck should always be about a
behaviour and never about a persons' character or parsonality. This also implies
that we are able to separate critique fronl critici;\~n.Focusing on the behaviour
helps the receiver to be clear about what'11eeds changing and slhe has tlie freedom
of choice to change certain behaviours. When we focus 011 the person, we often
interpret the ~notivebehind the behaviour wliich may be completely fallacious.

vii) Feedbuck /reeds to be specific lrnrl trot generrrl. This follo~vsfrom the above
principle that tlie person knows what exactly needs to be changed. General feedback
even when positive is vague. For example, 'Good job' does not indieate to the
person what needs consolidation, or what was 'good' about the job.

viii) fierll)crck can be bot/r positive und negcrtive. Many of us think of only negative
thiiigs to say during feedback. It is as important to let people know what they are
doing well. However, one needs to renle~nbernot to give positive and negative
i'cedback at the same time. This can confuse the person as thc person does not .
know if one is being appreciative or critical. Ncver give feedback that talks of tlie
positive with a 'but' as a punctuatio~imark.

iu) Feedback nercls to be direct. Expression of feelings and tlioughts as directly as


possible adds value to the feedback. It not only reflects our feeli~igsbut also tells the
person about hislher behaviour. E.g. rather than saying 'You are always late for
meetings' telling the person 'I feel upset when you come late for meetings' might be
more helpful and less accusatory.

x) Tlrere is nofeetlback onfeedback. The receiver needs to be open about receiving


feedback. Clarifications, arguments, explanations of the 'Wliy',make the receiver
seem defensive. Remember, feedback is the sender's perception of your behaviour.
The choice to work on that feedback remains with the receiver and is based on the
trust between tlie two as well as tlie value attached to feedback.

8.8 BARRIERS TO EFFECTIVE


COMMUNICATION
Described below are some cornlnon barriers to effective co~nmunicationwhich we must
avoid:

e Scco~ldguessing the sender: We do this when we are impatient with the speaker
and are in a hurry to finish the sentence for the speaker. It takes away from the
speiiker the opportunity to co~ripletewhat was being said. At times, we could be
completely offthe niark while finishing off the unspoken part and create antagonism
in the speaker. We have thus defeated out first principle of seekingfirst to
zal~lerstul~d.

i~ Stcreotypi~~g: We often form stereotypes about those whom we know the least!
Once our iiie~ltalsets arc cleated, all our transactions are affected by these sets,
preventing us frofri efrective listening.
'3
& -.
7
Halo effect: This is another form of stereotyping. Based on a single characteristic importance and Scope of
Cnmmt~nicationSkills
we make up our mind usually positively about the other person. We may like
someone's mannerisms or passion while speaking and get so impressed that are
unable to see any negatives in this person.

9 Not listening as a status or gender issue: Studies have shown that men listen
much less than women do. Similarly those in positions listen less to those who are
lower in hierarchy. How well do we listen to our children, or our subordinates? If a
woman employee is speaking, are men colleagues as attentive as they would be
when a male colleague speaks up?

In addition there are others which we are familiar with. These are:

9 Daydreaming

Private planning or detouring

9 Fatigue and exhaustion

Typical mannerisms like saying 'you know', 'well', or making gesticulations while
talking

We need to be attentive to barriers to effective communication. These can be both in the


sender and the receiver. One can overcome these through seeking feedback on one's
style of communication.

8.9 SUMMARY
This unit discusses the definition, models and principles of communication. Dynamics and
complexities of verbal and nonverbal messages are highlighted. The unit stresses on the
! importance of nonverbal communication in the overall transactions. Each communication
transaction is seen to be building on the previous one. Thus the influence of ourexperiences,
I beliefs, attitudes on our style of communication is very strong. Empathic listening is a skill
that one can develop but in order to do so, one needs to suspend one's judgment and
prejudices. Communication is effective and complete only when we give and receive
feedback. The unit elaborates on the principles of giving and receiving feedback. It is
, important for the reader to study the process of communication a s a wliole and not
fragment it in different components.

i
I
8.10 SELF-ASSESSMENT QUESTIONS
1. What do you understand by communication? In today's world of information
technology, what do you see as the scope for human communication?

I 2. Discuss the transactional model of communication, keeping in mind the importance


of time in relationships.

or underload and in what contexts?

4. How would you assess yourself as a listener? What are some barriers you experience
in empathic listening?

5. How do you give or receive feedback? Which of the two is easier? Why? Identify
some factors in yourself that facilitate or.hinder giving and receiving feedback?
Communication Skills

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