Composing Business Messages

3-1Composing Messages on the Job

This chapter addresses the second stage of the writing process: gathering information, organizing it
into outlines, and finally writing messages. The writing process is summarized in Figure 3.1.
Figure 3.1Three-Phase Writing Process: Planning/Prewriting, Composing/Writing, and Revising

© Cengage Learning 2013

Collecting the needed information for the message is the first step in the writing/composing
process. We call this collection process researching, a rather formal-sounding term. Researching is
necessary before beginning to write because the information you collect determines the content
and helps shape the message. For simple documents, though, the process can be quite informal. It
may simply involve recalling information from your memory. For complex documents, a formal
research process is required.
Collect information that answers these questions:
What does the receiver need to know about this topic?
What is the receiver to do?
How is the receiver to do it and when?
What will happen if the receiver doesn’t do it?
Whenever your communication problem requires more information than you have in your head or
at your fingertips, you must conduct research. This research may be formal or informal.
3-1aFormal Research Methods
Formal research may include searching libraries and electronic databases or investigating primary
sources (interviews, surveys, and experiments).
Complex business problems and long reports generally require the use of formal research methods
to address these problems. To illustrate, let’s say you are a market specialist for Coca-Cola, and your
boss asks you to evaluate the impact on Coke sales by New Age natural beverages, a new market
entrant in the next five years. To conduct formal research, you could do the following:
Search manually. Generally speaking, you will find helpful background and supplementary
information through manual searching of resources in public and college libraries. These traditional
sources include books and newspaper, magazine, and journal articles. Other sources are
encyclopedias, reference books, handbooks, dictionaries, and business directories.
Access electronically. Much of the printed material just described is now available from the Internet,
databases, CDs, or DVDs that can be accessed by computer. College and public libraries subscribe to
retrieval services that permit you to access most periodic literature. You can also find extraordinary
amounts of information by searching the Web.
Good sources of primary information are interviews, surveys, questionnaires, and focus groups.
Go to the source. In this case, firsthand information on Coca-Cola and New Age beverages is needed.
To assess the potential sales of Coca-Cola and New Age beverages, you could collect data by
conducting interviews or surveys, by putting together questionnaires, or by organizing focus
groups. Formal research includes structured sampling and controls that enable investigators to
make accurate judgments and valid predictions.
Conduct scientific experiments. Instead of merely asking for the target audience’s opinion, scientific
researchers present choices with controlled variables. For example, Coca-Cola wants to determine
what age group and under what circumstances consumers would switch from Coca-Cola to a New
Age beverage. The results of experimentation would provide valuable data for managerial decision
making.
3-1bInformal Research and Idea Generation
Most routine tasks—such as composing e-mails, memos, letters, and informational reports—
require data that you can collect informally.
Examine company records and files. If you are responding to an inquiry, you often can find the
answer to the inquiry by investigating company records and files.
Talk with your boss. Get information from the individual making the assignment. What does that
person know about the topic?
Interview the target audience. Consider talking with individuals at whom the message is aimed.
They may be able to provide clarifying information that tells you what they want to know and how
you should shape your remarks.
Conduct an informal survey. Gather unscientific but helpful information by using questionnaires. In
preparing a memo report predicting the use of a proposed fitness center, for example, circulate a
questionnaire asking for employee reactions.
Brainstorm for ideas. Brainstorming involves generating a list of ideas without judging them and
then selecting workable ideas from this list. When brainstorming for ideas, you can work with other
interested and knowledgeable individuals to discuss ideas for the writing task at hand.
With tablet computers set to become top-selling gadgets over the next few years, marketers want to
know how tight-lipped tablet leader Apple delivers iPad’s remarkable quality and price advantages.
Thanks to gadget teardown research from supply chain researcher IHS iSuppli, product managers
for the Motorola Xoom, Samsung Galaxy Tab, and HP TouchPad can see what’s inside iPad 2 and
discover how much the unit costs to produce. How might tablet developers use formal research to
compete in the consumer electronics market?
3-2Organizing Data to Show Relationships
Writers of well-organized messages group similar ideas together so that readers can see
relationships and follow arguments.
Once you have collected data, you must find some way to organize it. Organizing includes two
processes: grouping and strategizing. Well-organized messages group similar items together; ideas
follow a sequence that helps the reader understand relationships and accept the writer’s views.
Unorganized messages proceed free-form, jumping from one thought to another. Such messages fail
to emphasize important points. If puzzled readers can’t see how the pieces fit together, they become
frustrated and irritated. Many communication experts regard poor organization as the greatest
failing of business writers.
3-2aScratch List and Outlining
Two simple techniques can help you organize data: the scratch list and the outline. In developing
simple messages, some writers make a quick scratch list of the topics they wish to cover. They then
compose a message at their computers directly from the scratch list. Most writers, though, need to
organize their ideas—especially if the project is complex—into a hierarchy, such as an outline. The
beauty of preparing an outline is that it gives you a chance to organize your thinking before you get
bogged down in word choice and sentence structure. Figure 3.2 shows a format for an outline
together with tips for making outlines.
Figure 3.2Format for an Outline

3-2bDirect and Indirect Strategies

After developing an outline, you will need to decide where in the message to place the main idea.
Placing the main idea at the beginning of the message represents the direct strategy. In the direct
strategy the main idea comes first, followed by details, an explanation, or evidence. Placing the main
idea later in the message (after the details, explanation, or evidence) reflects the indirect strategy.
The strategy you select is determined by how you expect the audience to react to the message, as
shown in Figure 3.3. The figure also provides examples of direct and indirect openings.
Figure 3.3Audience Response Determines Organizational Strategy

© Cengage Learning 2013

Business messages typically follow either
the direct strategy, with the main idea first, or
the indirect strategy, with the main idea following an explanation and evidence.
In preparing to write any message, you need to anticipate the audience’s reaction to your
ideas and frame your message accordingly. When you expect the reader to be pleased, mildly
interested, or, at worst, neutral—use the direct strategy. That is, put your main point—the purpose
of your message—in the first or second sentence. Compare the direct and indirect openings in an e-
mail. Notice how long it takes to get to the main idea in the indirect opening.

Indirect Opening Direct Opening

For the past several years, we have had a To improve the

 Indirect Opening Direct Opening

continuing problem scheduling vacations, scheduling of absences,

personal days, and sick time. Our Human a new paid time-off
Resources people struggle with unscheduled program will begin
absences. After considerable investigation, the January 1. Its benefits
Management Council has decided to try a and procedures follow.
centralized paid time-off program starting
January 1. We are pleased to send you this e-mail
message, which will describe its benefits and
procedures.

The Direct Strategy.

Explanations, background, and details should follow the main idea in a direct opening. The direct
strategy has three advantages:
The direct method, also called frontloading, saves the reader’s time, establishes the proper frame of
mind, and prevents frustration.
Saves the reader’s time. It may eliminate unnecessary background material. Messages that take too
long to get to the issues at hand may lose the attention of their readers.
Sets a proper frame of mind. Learning the purpose up front helps the reader put the subsequent
details and explanations in perspective. Without a clear opening, the reader may be thinking, Why
am I being told this?
Prevents frustration. Readers forced to struggle through excessive verbiage ( dà i dò ng ) before
reaching the main idea become frustrated. They resent the writer. Poorly organized messages create
a negative impression of the writer.
This frontloading technique works best with audiences who are familiar with background
information and who are likely to be receptive to or at least not likely to disagree with what you
have to say. Typical business messages that follow the direct strategy include routine requests and
responses, orders and acknowledgments, nonsensitive memos, e-mails, informational reports, and
informational oral presentations. All these tasks have one element in common: none has a sensitive
subject that will upset the reader.
The Indirect Strategy.
The indirect strategy works best when the audience may be uninterested, unwilling, displeased, or
even hostile.
If the audience is unfamiliar with the topic and when you expect the audience to be uninterested,
perhaps even hostile, the indirect strategy is more appropriate. In this strategy don’t reveal the
main idea until after you have offered an explanation and evidence. The indirect strategy works well
with three kinds of messages:
bad news,
ideas that require persuasion, and
sensitive news, especially when being transmitted to superiors.
The indirect strategy has the following advantages:
Respects the feelings of the audience. The audience can be prepared to receive the bad news. It may
cushion the emotional reaction to the bad news.
Encourages a fair hearing. A connection with the audience can possibly be established before
delivering the bad news.
Minimizes a negative reaction. If the bad news is delivered gently, the overall reaction is generally
improved.
The Link REIT, which is a listed corporation for real estate management in Hong Kong, decided to
close down a local market in Yau Ma Tei in 2013. The store owners in the market had been calling
for six-month rents from the corporation as their compensation. However, the Link REIT refused,
pointing out that the flow of people to the market was low due to its inconvenient location and
small size. If you were the manager of the Corporate Communications Department of the Link REIT,
how would you organize messages when refusing indemnification ( sự bồ i thườ ng ) to the store
owners of the market?
Typical business messages that could be developed indirectly include messages that refuse
requests, reject claims, and deny credit. Persuasive requests, sales letters, sensitive messages, and
some reports and oral presentations also benefit from the indirect strategy.
In summary, business messages may be organized directly, with the main idea first, or indirectly,
with the main idea delayed. Although these two strategies cover many communication problems,
they should be considered neither universal nor unquestionable. Every business transaction is
distinct. Some messages are mixed: part good news, part bad, part goodwill, part persuasion.
3-3Constructing Effective Sentences
Using a variety of sentence types avoids boring, monotonous writing.
The most compelling and effective messages contain a variety of sentence patterns rather than
repeating the same pattern over and over. Effective messages also avoid common sentence faults,
and achieve emphasis and parallelism with special sentence-writing techniques.
3-3aUsing Four Sentence Types to Achieve Variety
Messages that repeat the same sentence pattern soon become boring. The way you construct your
sentences can make your messages interesting and readable. To avoid monotony and to add spark
to your writing, use a variety of sentence types. You have four sentence types from which to choose:
simple, compound, complex, and compound-complex.
A simple sentence, shown in the following example, contains one complete thought (an independent
clause) with a subject (underlined once) and predicate verb (underlined twice):
Coca-Cola saw an opportunity.
A compound sentence contains two complete but related thoughts. The two thoughts (independent
clauses) may be joined
by a conjunction such as and, but, or or;
by a semicolon; or
by a conjunctive adverb such as however, consequently, and therefore.
Notice the punctuation in these examples:
Our team project was difficult but we were happy with the results.
Our team project was difficult; we were happy with the results.
Our team project was difficult; however, we were happy with the results.
A complex sentence contains an independent clause (a complete thought) and a dependent clause
(a thought that cannot stand by itself, and has to depend for its meaning on an independent clause.
Dependent clauses are often introduced by words such as although, since, because,
when, and if. When dependent clauses precede independent clauses, they always are followed by a
comma.
When we finished our team project, we held a team party.
A compound-complex sentence contains at least two independent clauses and one dependent
clause. Because these sentences are usually long, use them sparingly.
Although this team project is completed, soon we will begin work on another; however, it will
be less challenging.
Although the sentence is grammatically correct, it would be better to have two sentences.
3-3bControlling Sentence Length
Sentences of 20 or fewer words have the most impact.
Regardless of the type of sentence, it is important to remember that sentence length can influence
readability. Because your goal is to communicate clearly, try to limit your sentences to 20 or fewer
words. These comprehension rates represent several patterns. With highly educated readers longer
sentences are appropriate. The American Press Institute reports that reader comprehension drops
off markedly as sentences become longer:

Sentence Length Comprehension Rate

8 words 100%

15 words 90%

19 words 80%

28 words 50%

3-3cAvoiding Three Common Sentence Errors

As you craft your sentences, beware of three common errors: fragments, run-on (fused) sentences,
and comma-splice sentences. If any of these faults appears in a business message, the writer
immediately loses credibility with some readers.
Fragments.
Fragments are broken-off parts of sentences and should not be punctuated as sentences.
A common error is punctuating a fragment as if it were a complete sentence. A fragment is usually a
broken-off part of a complex sentence.

Fragment Revision

Because most transactions require a Because most transactions require

permanent record. Good writing a permanent record, good writing
skills are critical. skills are critical.

The recruiter requested a writing The recruiter requested a writing

sample. Even though the candidate sample even though the candidate
seemed to communicate well. seemed to communicate well.

Fragments often can be identified by the words that introduce them—words such as although, as,
because, even, except, for example, if, instead of, since, such as, that, which, and when. These words
introduce dependent clauses. Make sure such clauses always connect to independent clauses.
Run-On (Fused) Sentences.
When two independent clauses are run together without punctuation or a conjunction, a run-on
(fused) sentence results.
A sentence with two independent clauses must be joined by a coordinating conjunction (and, or,
nor, but) or by a semicolon (;). Without a conjunction or a semicolon, a run-on sentence results.

Run-On Revision

Most job seekers present a printed Most job seekers present a printed
résumé some are also using Web résumé. Some are also using Web
sites as electronic portfolios. sites as electronic portfolios.

One candidate sent an e-mail One candidate sent an e-mail

résumé another sent a traditional résumé; another sent a traditional
résumé. résumé.

Comma-Splice Sentences.
A comma splice results when a writer joins (splices together) two independent clauses with a
comma. Independent clauses may be joined with a coordinating conjunction (and, or, nor, but) or a
conjunctive adverb (however, consequently, therefore, and others). Notice that clauses joined by
coordinating conjunctions require only a comma. Clauses joined by a coordinating adverb require a
semicolon. The three following examples illustrate three ways to revise comma splices. Notice that
the first one uses a conjunction (and), the second uses a conjunctive adverb (however), and the
third uses just a semicolon.

© Randy Glasbergen www.glasbergen.com

Comma Splice Possible Revisions

Some employees responded by e- Some employees responded by e-

mail, others picked up the mail, and others picked up the
telephone. telephone.

Some employees responded by e-

mail; however, others picked up the
telephone.

Some employees responded by e-

mail; others picked up the telephone.

3-4Improving Writing Techniques

Writers can significantly improve their messages by working on a few writing techniques. In this
section we focus on emphasizing and de-emphasizing ideas, using active and passive voice
strategically, developing parallelism, and avoiding dangling and misplaced modifiers.
3-4aDeveloping Emphasis
Emphasis is developed differently in oral and written communication. In oral communication, you
can emphasize your main ideas by saying them loudly or by repeating them slowly. You could even
pound the table if you want to show real emphasis! Another way you could signal the relative
importance of an idea is by raising your eyebrows or by shaking your head or whispering in a low
voice. But when you write, you must rely on other means to tell your readers which ideas are more
important than others. Emphasis in writing can be achieved in two ways: mechanically or
stylistically.
Achieving Emphasis Through Mechanics.
You can emphasize ideas mechanically by using underlining, italics, boldface, font changes, all
caps, dashes, and tabulation.
To emphasize an idea, a writer may use any of the following devices:

Underlining Underlining draws the eye to a word.

Italics and boldface Using italics or boldface conveys special meaning.

Font changes
Selecting a small, or font draws interest.

All caps Printing words in ALL CAPS is like shouting them.

Dashes Dashes—used sparingly—can be effective.

Tabulation Listing items vertically emphasizes the listed items:

First item
Second item
Third item

Other means of achieving mechanical emphasis include the arrangement of space, color, lines,
boxes, columns, titles, headings, and subheadings. Software and color printers provide an extensive
array of capabilities for setting off ideas.
Achieving Emphasis Through Style.
You can emphasize ideas stylistically by using vivid words, labeling the main idea, and positioning
the main idea strategically.
More often a writer achieves emphasis stylistically. That is, the writer chooses words carefully and
constructs sentences skillfully to emphasize main ideas and de-emphasize minor or negative ideas.
Here are four suggestions for emphasizing ideas stylistically:
Use specific statements. Specific statements are emphatic because the reader can relate to them
more directly than general statements.

General Statement Specific Statement

One Avon uses face-to-face selling

business uses personal selling techniques.
techniques.
 General Statement Specific Statement

Someone will contact you as soon Ms. Wong will telephone you before 5
as possible. p.m. tomorrow, May 3.

Label the main idea. If an idea is significant, it can be emphasized. Networking and low prices are
the labeled ideas.

Unlabeled Labeled

Consider looking for a job Consider looking for a job online;

online, but also focus on but, most important, focus on
networking. networking.

We shop here because of the We like the customer service, but

customer service and low the primary reason for shopping here is
prices. low prices.

Place the important idea first or last in the sentence. Ideas are easier to distinguish from
surrounding words when they appear first or last in a sentence. Observe how the concept
of productivity can be emphasized by its position in the sentence:

Main Idea Lost Main Idea Emphasized

Profit-sharing plans are more effective in Productivity is more likely to

increasing productivity when they are be increased when profit-
linked to individual performance rather sharing plans are linked to
than to group performance. individual performance
rather than to group
performance.

Place the important idea in a simple sentence or in an independent clause. Don’t dilute the effect of
the idea by making it share the spotlight with other words and clauses.

Main Idea Lost Main Idea Clear

Although you are the first management You are the first
trainee we have hired for this program, we management trainee we
had many candidates and expect to expand have hired for this
the program in the future. (Main idea is lost program. (Simple
in a dependent clause.) sentence)

De-emphasizing When Necessary.

You can de-emphasize ideas by using general words and placing the ideas in dependent clauses.
To de-emphasize an idea, such as bad news, the following stylistic devices are options:
Use general words.

Emphasizes Harsh Statement De-emphasizes Harsh Statement

Our records indicate that you Our records indicate that your
were recently fired. employment status has recently changed.

Place the bad news in a dependent clause connected to an independent clause with something
positive. In sentences with dependent clauses, the main emphasis is always on the independent
clause.

Emphasizes Bad News De-emphasizes Bad News

We cannot issue you credit at this Although credit cannot be issued

time, but we have a special plan that at this time, you can fill your
will allow you to fill your immediate immediate needs on a cash basis
needs on a cash basis. with our special plan.

3-4bUsing Active and Passive Voice

Writers prefer active-voice sentences because they are direct, clear, and concise; however, passive
voice has distinct uses.
In composing messages, you may use active or passive voice to express your meaning. In active
voice, the subject is the doer of the action (The manager hired Jake). In passive voice, the subject is
acted upon (Jake was hired [by the manager]). Notice that in the passive voice, the attention shifts
from the doer to the receiver of the action. You don’t even have to reveal the doer if you choose not
to. Writers generally prefer active voice because it is more direct, clear, and concise. Nevertheless,
passive voice is useful in certain instances such as the following:
To emphasize an action or the recipient of the action. An investigation was launched.
To de-emphasize negative news. Cash refunds cannot be made.
To conceal the doer of an action. An error was made in our sales figures.
How can you tell whether a verb is active or passive? Identify the subject of the sentence and decide
whether the subject is doing the acting or is being acted upon. For example, in the sentence An
appointment was made for January 1, the subject is appointment. The subject is being acted upon;
therefore, the verb (was made) is passive. Another clue in identifying passive-voice verbs is that
they generally include a to be helping verb, such as is, are, was, were, be, being, or been. Figure
3.4 summarizes effective uses for active and passive voice.
Figure 3.4
Using Active and Passive Voice Effectively
 Use active voice for directness, vigor, and clarity.

Direct and Clear in Active Voice Indirect and Less Clear in Passive Voice

The manager completed performance reviews for Performance reviews were completed for all
all employees. employees by the manager.

Evelyn initiated a customer service blog last year. A customer service blog was initiated last year.

Toyota will accept applications after January 1. Applications will be accepted after January 1 by
Toyota.

Coca-Cola created a Sprite page in Facebook to A Sprite page was created in Facebook by Coca-Cola
advertise its beverage. to advertise its beverage.

Use passive voice to be tactful or to emphasize the action rather than the doer.

Less Tactful or Effective in Active Voice More Tactful or Effective in Passive Voice

We cannot grant you credit. Credit cannot be granted.

The CEO made a huge error in projecting profits. A huge error was made in projecting profits.

I launched a successful fitness program for our A successful fitness program was launched for our
company last year. company last year.

We are studying the effects of the Sarbanes-Oxley The effects of the Sarbanes-Oxley Act on our
Act on our accounting procedures. accounting procedures are being studied.

© Cengage Learning 2013

3-4cAchieving Parallelism
Balanced wording helps the reader anticipate and comprehend your meaning.
Parallelism is a writing technique where the same form is used for a series of items. Parallel
construction is easier to read and understand. To achieve parallel construction, use similar
structures to express similar ideas. For example, the words computing, coding,
recording, and storing are parallel because the words all end in -ing. To express the list
as computing, coding, recording, and storage is disturbing because the last item is not what the
reader expects. Try to match nouns with nouns, verbs with verbs, and clauses with clauses. Avoid
mixing active-voice verbs with passive-voice verbs.
 Lacks Parallelism Illustrates Parallelism

The policy affected all vendors, suppliers, and those The policy affected all vendors, suppliers,
involved with consulting. and consultants. (Matches nouns)

Our primary goals are to increase productivity, Our primary goals are to increase productivity,
reduce costs, and the improvement of product reduce costs, and improve product quality.
quality. (Matches verbs)

We are scheduled to meet in Tokyo on January 5, we We are scheduled to meet in Tokyo on January
are meeting in Hong Kong on the 15th of March, 5, in Hong Kong on March 15, and in Singapore on
and in Singapore on June 3. June 3. (Matches phrases)

Shelby audits all accounts lettered A through L; Shelby audits all accounts lettered A through L;
accounts lettered M through Z are audited by Andrew audits accounts lettered M through Z.
Andrew. (Matches clauses)

Our World Cup ads have three objectives: Our World Cup ads have three objectives:
We want to increase product use. Increase product use
Introduce complementary products. Introduce complementary products
Our corporate image will be enhanced.

3-4dAvoiding Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers

Modifiers ( từ bổ nghĩa ) must be close to the words they describe or limit.
For clarity, modifiers must be close to the words they describe or limit. A modifier dangles when the
word or phrase it describes is missing from its sentence. For example, After working overtime, the
report was finally finished. This sentence says the report was working overtime. Revised, the
sentence contains a logical subject: After working overtime, we finally finished the report.
A modifier is misplaced when the word or phrase it describes is not close enough to be clear. For
example, Firefighters rescued a dog from a burning car that had a broken leg. Obviously, the car did
not have a broken leg. The solution is to position the modifier closer to the word(s) it describes or
limits: Firefighters rescued a dog with a broken leg from a burning car.
Introductory verbal phrases can be particularly confusing; consequently, be sure to follow them
immediately with the words they logically describe or modify. Detect and remedy dangling
modifiers by asking the question Who? or What? after any introductory phrase. The words
immediately following should tell the reader who or what is performing the action.
© Ted Goff www.tedgoff.com

Dangling or Misplaced Clear Modification

Modifier

Skilled at graphic design, the Skilled at graphic design, DesignOne won the
contract went to DesignOne. contract.

Working together as a team, Working together as a team, we finally completed

the project was finally the project.
completed.

To meet the deadline, your To meet the deadline, you must send us your Excel
Excel figures must be received figures by May 1.
by May 1.

The recruiter interviewed In the morning the recruiter interviewed

candidates who had excellent candidates with excellent computer skills.
computer skills in the
morning.

As an important customer to As you are an important customer to us, we invite

us, we invite you to our spring you to our spring open house. OR: As an
open house. important customer to us, you are invited to our
spring open house.

3-5Drafting Powerful Paragraphs

A paragraph is a group of sentences organized around a central topic. Paragraphs are most
effective when they contain
a topic sentence,
support sentences that expand, explain, and elaborate on the topic, and
techniques to build coherence.
3-5aCrafting Topic Sentences
Topic sentences explain the main idea of a paragraph and often appear first.
A topic sentence states the main idea of the paragraph. Business writers generally place the topic
sentence first in the paragraph. It tells readers what to expect and helps them understand the
paragraph’s central thought immediately. Notice in the following examples how the topic sentence
summarizes the main idea, which will be followed by support sentences explaining the topic
sentence:
Flexible work scheduling could immediately increase productivity and enhance employee
satisfaction in our entire organization. [Support sentences would explain how flex scheduling would
increase productivity and enhance employee satisfaction.]
The chat function at our main Web site is not functioning as well as we had expected. [Support
sentences would describe existing problems in the Web chat function and why expectations have
not been met.]
3-5bDeveloping Support Sentences
Support sentences illustrate, explain, and strengthen the topic sentence.
Support sentences illustrate, explain, or strengthen the topic sentence. All support sentences in the
paragraph should relate to the topic sentence. Other topics should be treated separately and put in
different paragraphs. Support sentences provide specific details, explanations, and evidence:
Flexible work scheduling could immediately increase productivity and enhance employee
satisfaction in our organization. Flextime would allow employees to devote their full attention to
work activities and not be distracted or worried about personal affairs while at work. Flexible
scheduling permits employees to better schedule their time to manage family responsibilities.
Feeling less stress, employees would be able to organize their work activities more efficiently;
therefore, they become more relaxed and more productive.
3-5cBuilding Paragraph Coherence
Paragraphs are coherent when ideas are linked—that is, when one idea leads logically to the next.
Well-written paragraphs take the reader through a number of steps. When the author skips from
Step 1 to Step 3 and forgets Step 2, the reader can get lost. Several techniques allow the reader to
follow your ideas:
Repeat a key idea by using the same expression or a similar one: Employees treat guests as VIPs.
These VIPs are never told what they can or cannot do.
Use pronouns to refer to previous nouns: All new employees receive a two-week orientation. They
learn that every staffer has a vital role.
Show connections with transitional expressions: however, as a result, consequently, and meanwhile.
For a list of possibilities, see Figure 3.5.
Figure 3.5
Transitional Expressions to Build Coherence

To Add or To Show Time or To Clarify To Show Cause and To To Con

Strengthen Order Effect Contradict

additionally after for example accordingly actually as opp

accordingly before for instance as a result but at the

again earlier I mean consequently however by con

also finally in other words for this reason in fact conve

besides first put another hence instead on the

way

indeed meanwhile that is so rather on the

hand

likewise next this means therefore still previo

moreover now thus thus yet simila

3-5dControlling Paragraph Length

The most readable paragraphs contain eight or fewer printed lines.
Although no rule regulates the length of paragraphs, business writers recognize the value of short
paragraphs. Paragraphs with eight or fewer printed lines look inviting and readable. Long, solid
chunks of print appear formidable. If a topic can’t be covered in eight or fewer printed lines (not
sentences), consider breaking it into smaller segments.
3-6Composing the First Draft
Create a quiet place in which to write. Experts recommend freewriting for first drafts.
Once you have researched your topic, organized the data, and selected a pattern of organization, you
are ready to begin composing. Communicators who haven’t completed the preparatory work often
suffer from “writer’s block” and sit staring at a piece of paper or at the computer screen. Getting
started is easier if you have organized your ideas and established a plan. Composition may be easier
if you have a quiet environment in which to concentrate. Businesspeople with important messages
to compose may set aside a given time and allow no calls, visitors, or other interruptions.
As you begin composing, keep in mind that you are writing the first draft, not the final copy. Some
experts suggest that you write quickly (freewriting). If you get your thoughts down quickly, you can
refine them in later versions. Other writers, such as your authors, prefer to polish sentences as they
go. Different writers have different styles.
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