Checo really went on an interview just to be like “btw I got my options because teams can’t stop being obsessed with me, so if I find someone who actually APPRECIATES me and my EXPERIENCE and actually TREATS ME RIGHT then I’ll go there <3”

“also I was actually handling and WINNING with that Redbull car for FOUR years that people forgot that it actually sucks to drive <3”

“But I don’t want Redbull to fail ofc ofc, my BEST FRIEND MAX and MY SON MY BEAUTIFUL SON YUKI are there and I want them to win EVERYTHING. Which Yuki will have greater chances of succeeding now that he has an actually COMPETENT engineer Woody and not THAT FLOP BIRD WHO KEPT SETTING ME UP TO FAIL. Anyways… have a nice day everyone, see you later <3”

Cosmic Horror! AU alerudy

Cosmic Horror! AU where Alejandro is fused with an ancient being who feeds on death/sacrifice in a mission gone wrong, and Rudy is the only one who can see Alejandro's change since Alejandro chose to fuse with this being to save Rudy from dying.

This being takes a similar form of Mictlantecuhtli. And Being! Alejandro still loves Rudy but wants to be fed through Rudy. When Las Almas burns with death, both from narcos and the military, the being is satiated. But when Las Almas is particularly peaceful, Rudy can see the hunger in Alejandro, his shadow twitching and shimmering, growing, and then Rudy knows he is fucked that day. Rudy will need to satisfy Alejandro by giving himself-- and by himself that can mean anything. Sometimes quick fuck is enough, but most of the times not so much.

Being! Alejandro wants to give Rudy anything he wants, but also take everything Rudy has-- first he asks to own Rudy's sight so he can see what Rudy sees, then his thoughts so he can know what Rudy knows, then his emotions, his past, his future--

But Rudy will tell him these were the things that Alejandro already owned, which will confuse the cosmic horror part of our poor colonel.

Their fuck is going to be traumatically mind-shattering, Rudy sobbing under Alejandro with just too much stimulation, and Rudy can see and feel something much greater and terrifying than what he can percieve consuming him, entering him, and also soothing him at the same time--

And for Being! Alejandro, whatever Rudy produces, whether it be curse, moan, spit, tear, any bodily fluid-- it's just so adorable and lovable because Rudy is his tiny, fragile, pretty and delicious human, and he doesn't care Rudy making a mess.

We all know cosmic horror ancient beings never can fully understand fragile human minds, and vice versa. Rudy's "wish" that Alejandro always asks to fulfil (He always asks Rudy 'What do you wish for' after Rudy feeds him or satisfies him) is misunderstood and ends up being a total mindfuck. One time Rudy wished Alejandro "I wish you to come back to your past self" and Alejandro just trapped Rudy in an unending loop of their younger past, and Rudy had to beg to get out of the limbo.

Rudy sometimes begs Alejandro to "come back home." Come back to their home, their Las Almas, their legacy they created together. Come back to Rodolfo Parra, and Los Vaqueros, and love them like he used to. Alejandro grabs Rodolfo and hugs him closer, ever so lovingly, but his eyes are cold and distant, inhuman. He does not understand what Rudy means, but he will keep loving Rudy.

Ocupo fic

Checo. Contigo a dónde vayas y seas feliz 🤘🤘🤘

Godddd!!!!

people in my replies arguing for their fav white guy???

Semi-related but Assassin's Creed 3 is majorly about poc suffering and it kills me when people ONLY talk about Haytham & ignore other non-white characters (Ratonhnhaké:ton, Ziio, Achilles, Aveline)

what would you do

Ratonhnhaké:ton/Connor and Haythem

This post is so fucking old–the old anon icon? Non-rebloggable asks? The gray bar at the bottom? Truly a relic

people are still reblogging it. incredible. love u all

The Avengers gif here is definitely a sign this post is from 2013

it will never dieeeeeeeee and neither will iiiiiiiii

Man, when I was like 16 I got so sick of being made fun of for being the fat kid that I took an axe down inna woods, chopped down a tree, and started doing log-lifts all the time. I got strong as fuck, but I didn’t lose no weight. I actually got bigger.

Same thing happened when I got into fighting. I got even stronger, and I got *fast*, man, and nimble, like a cat. Still chubby.

Body-building culture is a bunch of crap, my dude. Functional muscle is not necessarily toned or lean. You can be swole as hell and still be heavy. And that’s cool.

Embrace your inner barbarian. And when fatphobic little gym twinks try to body shame you, you should DESTROY THEM with your MIGHTY AXE

Can comfirm, i am Quite Fat ™ but i still hit my punching bag hard enough last week make it touch the ceiling and broke a finger in the process

You know, I train with (martial arts) a bunch of dudes, and a few bodybuilders have showed up over the years. 

And every damn one of those huge shredded motherfuckers has the endurance of a fucking newborn puppy. Fifteen minutes into warmups and they’re panting for air like like they’re about to die. I’ve sparred them and every one of them telegraphs their moves about two weeks in advance, and are slower than my dead grandpa because their huge useless muscles get in the damn way. 

Now. I also work with a couple of guys who are not weightlifters. They do, however, do very physical jobs and are Big Dudes. Picture this sort of build. 

No abs to speak of, a bit of a tummy, and those motherfuckers can pick up one of the weightlifters and throw them. 

And they’re fast. Like, unfair fast. 

Bodybuilding culture is bullshit. Embrace your status as a giant barbarian and if anyone gives you crap throw them off a mountain. 

i love and support all strong, fat people

the second eel at the end in its little cuck shelter 💜

eel deets from @whitefangthefightingwolf

in the earthquake the government said that they were working 24 hours a day but relatives of those trapped under the building said that at 4 am no one was working they returned to work at 9 am fuck

i hate the government for thailand

Checo is of course a victim of the Red Bull second seater treatment but I’ve never considered him a victim of the Max Verstappen teammate deaths? If that makes sense. I might explain myself later but does anyone else get what i’m saying

this is how i feel about desmond miles in the year 2025