ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY KYANRE

"The Master seems very fond of you in general."

--A follower of Peryite mentioning Peryite's opinion of you after completing his quest

asked my students if they wanted to share stories about what they did over spring break and this kid goes "you know the field behind costco?" and we all nod and he says "I got lost in the field behind costco."

i mean this in the gentlest possible way but if 75% of what you're posting for a given fandom is fuming rage spirals then maybe just maybe it's time to take a step back and consider whether or not you're actually having any fun with this optional thing you do for fun

no weapon forged against me has ever been cool or well made

not donald trump singlehandley uniting the world against america and encouraging mass boycotting

"Le boycott" i will hurl you off a cliff

happy autism awareness day to all the girls who had “ friends” growing up who were actually bullying them . to the girls who always sat alone in the grass and wondered why nobody wanted to talk . to the girls who spoke to animals like they were listening . to the girls who created a little world in their room . to the girls who always felt ashamed for how deeply they love things and how passionately they enjoyed media . to the girls who covered their ears when they were overwhelmed by everything . to the girls who carrying a special thing around to feel safe . to the girls who never understood what they did wrong to feel so lonely . to the girls who were diagnosed later in life because they weren’t little boys who liked trains. you are so special and beautiful and you’re not worse for it, you love deeply and that is so wonderful please never try to push that down . I LOVE YOU !!!!!

Read the full story here.

Don't worry, she's being charged with attempted murder because she was holding a gun near a cop and not for actually attempting murder. The LAPD is just so damn fragile while they're out of there murdering folks and being bastards. God forbid there's a Mary Tyler Moore lookalike standing in her own yard with a Beretta. She only survived this encounter (wounded but not life threatening) because another cop probably said, "Wait, is that the wife of the guy in Weezer, we plug her and we could get into some real shit, so just wing her rather than blasting her to hell with 23 hollow points."

And this gem:

He really tried "the acting casual and just being a regular guy officer" routine. Mad respect, give the man community service and call it a day. Everyone involved has suffered enough.

'all age gaps problematic' people are so wild. "what can a 19 year old and a 28 year even have in common??? what do they talk about??" BITCH THEIR HOBBIES???????

Do You Not Have Hobbies Or Interests

being age appropriate??? to a NINETEEN YEAR OLD?????????

like yeah i do personally think it's weird to date a 19yr old as a 28yr old but let's not act like that 9 year age difference makes them different species that can't even interact even as friends. like can we be normal. i promise you can talk to younger people.

I think their point is, though, that the lives of a 19 year old and a 28 to 30 year old are way different, because one could be in college and is fresh out of highschool, lending to their naivety, while the 30 year old (I like round numbers better) has a lot more experience in life, so it's hard to relate insofar as events happening to them.

i don't like generalizing like that, because people's lives can all take very different paths. not everyone goes to college. a 19 year old could be in the army. they could be getting married, they could be getting divorced, they could be doing anything. a 28 year old could be in college and living with their parents, while a 19 year old could at the same time be struggling to pay rent and being the legal guardian to a child. they could be in the same college class, even. life experience isn't linear, and it does the human experience a disservice to pretend everyone walks the same paths.

and relating is not all there is to human connection! i can't relate to the experiences and life of an olympic sports player, but that doesn't mean we can't connect on any level.

Over half of college students in the U.S. are older than 25. I don't know about other countries, but, like. The notion that "college" means "A life stage that happens at ages 18-23, which is basically an extended form of childhood, during which a person has no meaningful adult responsibilities, does not do their own self-care tasks, has never had a job (or at least not a 'real,' 'serious,' 'adult' job), and certainly would not ever even think about anything like having serious relationships or children of their own" is such an incredibly... astonishingly... narrow view.

Besides hobbies, some things that a 28 year old and a 19 year old might have in common to talk about include:

I'm 40; my closest friends are 19 and 52. In both cases we have very strong commonalities despite being from different generations, and our points of differing life experience (whether related to our ages or not) simply bring enrichment to each other.

Edit: and if the "oh this is ok for friendship but not dating" crowd could grow up, that'd be fabulous.

I've had a fling with someone twice my age (I was 25) and it was pleasant, safe, and not remotely an issue.

My late girlfriend was half my age and we bonded over shared experiences that my closer-in-age exes couldn't even process, much less relate to.

Most age gap discourse is just ageism, infantilizing the younger party and painting the older party as a predator, and somehow at the same time immature; but this is not the innocent immaturity of a child in their early 20s (sic), and is instead the wicked, not-right-in-the-head immaturity of someone in their late 20s or older. It's nothing but just pasting ageist tropes onto people.

Aside from the moralizing pearl-clutching...

I think a lot of people in the notes are just keen to shout from the rooftops about how much more mature they are than people a mere few years younger than them.

Tones of:

Love the quote from @hyperlexichypatia “…an incredibly, astonishingly narrow view.”

Thanks for bringing this back to my attention so I can add on, to all the people in the notes saying things like: "Casual friendship/fandom between a 19 year old and a 28 year old is fine, it's not like the Bad Kind of relationship where they share emotional intimacy and talk about their problems!" and "It can be okay because maybe the 19 year old is working and paying rent and living independently; you can't just assume they're sheltered and live with their parents"--

Let me just say from the bottom of my heart: a 28 year old (or older! a 50 year old! a 90 year old!) sharing close, emotional intimacy including sharing their deepest feelings and problems, with a 19 year old who lives with their parents, has lived a relatively tame and sheltered life, and seems "young for their age" is still absolutely fucking okay.

when i was a young teen involved in a baptist christian youth group, there were multiple occasions where i got in trouble with leadership because basically all of my friends were older than me. i was literally taken aside and told i needed to hang out with people in my own grade, not the seniors or college-aged kids. that my lovely and naturally occurring friendships were a problem to be fixed.

so the next time you're about to declare that a 19 year old and 29 year old couldn't have anything in common, take a moment to think about all the conservative evangelicals who would agree with you.

Favorite adderall review

You have to watch the dosage.

You have to watch the dosage.

I wish Mythbusters was still around so we could see them fuck up a Cybertruck

All my haters become aligators when I activate my gatorinator.

you laugh now, but when my gatorinator is ready, it's all over

update:

transmogrifying my haters into an animal that is known for something called the "death roll" has backfired in a manner no one could have forecasted

Having taken stock of the situation, it's not as bad as I originally thought. It's not like these crocodilians are an urgent problem, much less a representation of my own mortality. There's no ticking clock here.

well now you're just doing this on purpose

I think that's the highest tags forecast I have received so far.

Posts that have 100k gators to me.

Actually there are only 5 gators in my post, but it is an understandable mistake.

Now there are 100,005 gators on this post

...

You know what? Good job.

Other people said this post had thousands of notes in their mind, but only contributed two notes.

You? You said that it had 100k gators to you.

And then you did it.

+1 respect point.

now that's what i call a

gator aid

I hate all of you so very much. (affectionate)

good morning soft sad freaks on an unprofitable website

fucking gotem lmao