lord, send me a mechanic if i'm not beyond repair

need people to see this i feel insane

beatboxing puppyxrucian

Ulficine Fastilitha

"Cast in the shape of a wolf am I: behold this youthful scion of the Not! I am the cynosure of time, unbegun and never-ending! Un-arising, never-ceasing… a sundering, bone-shaking beat. I am the moment upon which everything is changed."

Note: "Beatbox" was difficult to translate into Ninuanni. The "beat" was surprisingly easy, but the "box" (a speaker or machine) I ended up needing to translate very roughly; an endless beat, because, I mean, if you supply a speaker with electricity long enough it doesn't have to stop? IDK.

Bars spit by Ulficine Fastilitha...

my phone isn’t charging even though i plugged her innnnn dramatic ass bitch. YOUR PUSSY IS FILLED! WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT

Can you stop bouncing and moaning on it 😐 please for the love of god

i see now that i shouldn’t have made this post on tumblr. specifically.

Finally, I can stop thinking about Sherlock when I plug in my phone charger.

Tried to tip a tumblr blog at 1am and it was such a suspicious transaction it immediately put a full fraud freeze on my account

Fortunately, banks no longer just ask 'did you make that transaction' they want to make sure you weren't scammed into making that transaction and 5mins after their call will give away all your money anyway.

This is an honest to goodness life saving movement and I cannot be happier banks are adopting it

Unfortunately, it meant I had to have the most embarrassing financial call of my life

-

I think in the end Cash decided there was no saving me from myself

I like when people like a character so way too much that it transcends even self shipping or kinning and becomes more of a patron saint that you pray to type of deal

"patron saint" stop using catholic figures in a blasphemous way! it's disrespectful to catholics.

youve made me very happy by saying this

you...enjoy being disrespectful to catholics?

why censor it like this

How are my sweetie pees

I Said How The Fuck Are My Fucking Sweetie Pees

its crazy how hyraxes can only awawa and scream

hey hold on squiggy the hyrax shut up for a second. has antonin scalia always been in this image

shrek 5's teaser animation isnt bad you're just nostalgic for movies made in 2001

"OMG why is there TIKTOK??? IN THE SHREK UNIVERSE?" <- person who has never seen shrek before

shrek has always been full of pop culture references. you just think it's cringe now because you're 20+ years older. now shut up and enjoy shrek's lesbian daughter voiced by zendaya and pinocchio making thirst trap edits of shrek twerking on tiktok

this is a neat way to find out about Shrek 5

original by clairetablizo

@sepiamestus is this how it's supposed to be done

oh. oh dear.

uhm. yeah that.. that explains it.

stop eating turkish delight with the witch in white and come eat hummus with mr. tumnus

This is a minor thing but it is very annoying to me when people replace every instance of "th" with þ, while ignoring the existence of ð. Like those indicate very different sounds I'm sorry you are not really saying "þat, þis, þose" unless you are hosing me down with saliva

Now, writing like ðis might be confusing, but at ðe very least ðis actually follows what English sounds like. I only ask for consistency. "ðis þeremin." "ðat þursday." "ðis is ðe þanks I get?"

“Blah blah blah I love this I love that”

-Typical song lyrics— and yet people would rather listen to that trash than my podcast (I discuss films from a Men’s perspective)

im like if maia arson crimew was trans

I uh, I hate to inform you that this is not parasocial nor a headcanon. Honestly I'm not even sure it qualifies as rpf.

go ahead and throw me in a meatgrinder

The Simpsons – 8.19: Grade School Confidential