Oh look It's "being angry that the Astolfo gender discourse has completely overshadowed the fact that by all rights he should be a disability rights icon" hour

Listen I'm going to make it exceedingly clear that above all else I blame the 4chan dudebros who have turned him into a weird homophobic/transphobic meme forcing us to have the gender discussion and be loud about reminding people that men and male-aligned people can wear whatever they want for reasons that have nothing to do with sex or "deception" and that the idea of doing things as part of both the men's group AND the women's group is a thing that people can want to do for reasons that are NOT just some otaku shitpost joke -

HOWEVER because it is Pride Month and we are critiquing the fuck out of performativity and pinkwashing and lack of intersectionality we're gonna talk about this for a second here.

Sieg is disabled. Like, there's no way around this. When he escapes the basement he has birth defects that amount to a terminal illness. Even after his magical heart transplant this still affects him in a way that actually pretty well parallels the risks involved with a mundane organ transplant - he uses up all his Command Spells, his heart rejects and he dies. This has painful effects on him still, especially toward the end.

In other words, we have on our hands a protagonist with a life-threatening chronic illness that definitely has a major fantasy spin but is still portrayed in a pretty believable, grounded way.

And how did he get here?

By running into a definitely neurodivergent guy who saw someone who needed help and, unlike a lot of people in the world including MANY ACTUAL FUCKING DOCTORS IN THAT WORLD AND OUR OWN, heard "this guy is only going to live about 3 years at most" and said "oh, shit, then we REALLY need to get him somewhere safe because he doesn't deserve to spend any more of that time laying around suffering than he absolutely has to" rather than the far more common "what a ~tragedy~, what's the ~point~ in breaking out at all if that's ~all~ he's going to get?"

And through all their time together, what is the one core thing that Astolfo constantly pushes?

Live.

You deserve to live.

You're not obligated to sacrifice yourself.

You have the right to live.

You have the right to be happy.

You have the right to want to be happy.

You should live.

I want you to live.

You know. Things most disabled people - especially chronically ill people - are constantly hearing the exact opposite of, especially as of right now in 2021.

Like, it's great to acknowledge an openly, visibly queer character - but let's not forget that his main character arc was basically him screaming "DISABLED RIGHTS" over and over and over again until he was blue in the face.

His gender presentation is basically window dressing; his neurodivergence and belief that life is worth living no matter what are CENTRAL to his character.

The fact that it was a visibly queer character who did this should only add to the value of it, not serve as a reason to sweep it under the rug.

Hell, it was what made Siegfried give his heart up, he basically told him, "I'm a Paladin of Charlemagne & that means saving anyone who needs me, no matter how long they have to live." 3 years, 30 years, 300 years who cares?

Someone needed help & he helped because it was the right thing to do, & that Siegfried had no right to call himself a hero if he can't save one person who needed his help. He says all this shit to someone who could easily kill him, but Siegfried couldn't because he knew how right Astolfo was & that this sick & dying boy deserved to live just as much as anyone else & gave him his heart in an act of atonement.

Astolfo was always Sieg's biggest supporter. He was always by his side no matter how sick or injured Sieg got. Astolfo is the most true hero of Apocrypha because he knows that all life has value worth preserving, even that which some or many would consider worth objectively less.

I was gonna just quietly add this edit I made but I've gotta appreciate the addition too

I thought I might share one of my new tattoos. A couple years ago, a dear friend and I coined the term “fish bag moment”

A fish bag moment might be sitting all alone in an empty new apartment after coming out and upending your life, or starting a new job in a brand new line of work because it’s closer to your dreams

It’s what happens when you take a leap of faith or make a hard decision for yourself, when the future is so hard to visualize and everything feels scary. You’re just a fish in a bag and you can’t see where you’re going

But you’re on your way to a bigger aquarium

Ugh a coworker I adore is leaving for a new job opportunity. She was talking about how she’s happy and excited, but also sad and scared and nervous. I was like “omg you’re having a fishbag moment! Those feelings are what this tattoo represents!”

She said “I don’t like this feeling why would you get that tattooed on you”

And I said “because it means you’re on your way to a bigger aquarium 😌”

She had to walk away bc she started crying lol, and then shouted “THAT WAS CUTE” at me from down the hall

i had a dream i worked in an underwater restaurant and people kept ordering ice in their drinks and then getting mad at me when it would float away. and i’d tell them beforehand that the ice would float away & they’d be like lol no that’s not how it works just give me the ice. I’m fighting customer service battles never seen before

We gotta stop aiming for unique and interesting baby names we gotta start naming every single infant straight-shot middle-of-the-road ass popular common unisex names like Alex and Sam. By the end of 2031 I wanna see 100% of kindergarten children named either Alex or Sam and you know what, let’s make ‘em all Smiths and Johnsons, too. In an age of digital tracking give your baby the gift of total functional anonymity within the panopticon

If Elon Musk owned Tumblr he would nuke your blog for this.

And I would die with honour at the hands of a fool

download killing upload pain. instant thousand deaths to brain. motherboard on murder spree. blood computer victory.

“I have all these OCs! But no story…”

bruh

make a fighting game

But what if half your ocs are softys and not made for fighting?

dating sim

this post changed the game

Hey btw if you don’t know how to program, you should check out [novelty], which is a free Visual Novel creation software. Absolutely no programming required, and it’s super easy to use, I played with it some when I was a teen but the only reason I didn’t do much with it is cuz I made my story complicated and had like 5000 different branching routes that kept spawning new routes and made myself confused LMAO

But yeah, it’s a WYSIWYG with a really straight-forward GUI, if I remember correctly.

It even comes with some free backgrounds and characters and stuff, and this is what it looks like:

Did I mention it’s super duper free? It hasn’t been updated since 2010, but it has basically all you’d need to make a simple visual novel.

Just make sure your DirectX runtime is updated, cuz it can act buggy if it’s outdated, but this program is so old that I doubt it’d even be an issue lol

holy shit

This is so cool? Can you imagine fanfic in this format?

YO

@becausedragonage @ashidoodle can I recommend Choice Script? It’s like a choose your own adventure coding program. The finished product looks like this, where every option sends you down a different path:

They are literally books you can play. You can even insert your own character’s name and pronouns and that would make writing reader inserts so much easier And as a writer who can not art, writing and making dating sims and games is more convenient.

The coding is also super simple and easy to learn and all it requires other than the program files is a text editor. And just like that you can start typing up like you would your own fanfics or stories. Plus it’s very versatile so you can make your game/book as simple or as complicated as you want, and even implement stats and inventory systems.

AND CHOICE SCRIPT IS ALSO SUPER DUPER FREE. THE COMPANY EVEN PUBLISHES YOUR FINISHED GAME FOR YOU AND GIVES YOU ROYALTIES IF YOU CHOOSE TO SELL IT. THE PROGRAM STILL GETS UPDATED AND  THE COMPANY PUBLISHES BOOKS EVERY MONTH INCLUDING THE FANMADE ONES. THERE’S ALSO A FORUM FOR PEOPLE TO POST WIPS AND TALK ABOUT CHOICE SCRIPT AND GET HELP.

And there’s Ren'py, also for visual novels!

@raimeyl @mexicanesecat 👀

Holy shit

Ooooof I’m gonna use thessee

For any burgeoning digital storytellers/narrative game devs out there! :)

Also good ol’ Twine is incredibly easy to learn for text games with multiple choices! You don’t even need to deal with images if you don’t want to and it works in the browser (there’s also a downloadable version) and it generates html files that you can play in your browser.

Anyway if you want excuses/community for making visual novels NaNoRenO is about to start (March2022 for those reading this message in the future.) on itch.io (like nanowrimo, but about visual novels!)

hey guys...i put a picture of a kity under the cut...

Hello friends!!! On this April 1st I- with neither guile nor ill-intent- invite you all to listen to Rick Astley’s Never Gonna Give You Up with me, because it’s a fun song that I enjoy. You’re a free agent in this decision entirely. Happy April Fools Day

HOW TO SPOT DONATION SCAM POSTS

Tumblr has had a longstanding scam bot donation post problem. From sick dog posts using blatantly AI generated images to Gaza refugee aid blogs accidentally sending the pornbot script instead, it happens.

So how do you spot them?

Here is a quick guide to spot the most obvious scammers;

Step one: Actually read the post. Does the information all agree with itself? If they post a picture of their medical readouts are those readouts things that make sense for a conscious living person? Does that dog x-ray have 7 toes and too few ribs to be real? Are there obvious photoshop signs? Do the pictures ACTUALLY prove anything? Do they reference a law that does not exist in the country they claim to be from? Is the amount asked for around what it would cost for what they are claiming to do with it? Is what they are asking for money for a feasible thing? Are they using emotionally manipulative language that gets you to panic or feel upset and make rush decisions? Do they imply that if you do not post the post you are responsible for suffering or death? Did they send an ask instead of putting it on their actual blog as a post? Does the gofundme match the post?

Step two: Reverse image search the images given. Do they come up elsewhere in posts by other people? Do they come up in other donation posts with different names and monetary amounts?

Step three: Quote search the script minus URLs and names. Is the script used in many other donation posts with different names and values?

Step four: Examine the blog that it is from. Is it a 'blank' blog? Is the donation post their ONLY post? Have they made multiple donation posts with different names and amounts? Does google searching their name cause you to come up with many different asks sent to people that have different names and money values and images in them? Is this a reskinned porn bot? Are the posts on the blog consistent with the information given in the donation post? Do they not talk about themselves at all, just have 5 random posts reblogged in the last week and then a donation beg? Does the account link to other accounts on other platforms that look like real people? Is this obviously a person outside of the donation post?

Step five: Examine their IP address through means such as Statcounter. If you don't already have it on your blog, you may want to get it if you get a lot of donation asks. Is the IP address within the location they claim they are in or are close to it? If they are using an eSim some eSims have a fixed IP address (Hong Kong is a common one). A Hong Kong or USA address is not a strike against them in this case. An IP address in Belgium should be instantly suspect as there is a KNOWN scam ring from there doing Gaza aid scams.

If everything checks out, you've done a decent cursory check on the donation post. That does NOT mean it is for sure legitimate, but it is not OBVIOUSLY a scam at this point.

Q: I can't do all this work!

A: Then have someone you trust on a PERSONAL LEVEL (not a random tumblr blog who says they verify things) verify with these steps, just ignore all donation posts like this from people you do not know personally and only donate to specific charity organizations that are reputable, or accept you may be posting and donating to scams.

I CCAN'T BREATHE

I had a vision

SOMEONE WENT TO A STAR TREK CONVENTION IN THE 1980’S AS SPOCK AND KIRK’S PENISES I AM NOT MAKING THIS SHIT UP

THEY PERFORMED SPIRK THROUGH INTERPRETIVE DANCE

If you haven’t read the fanlore page yet, here’s an excerpt from the founding mothers of our fandom constitution. KF: Well, four of us in Phoenix saw that. And, it was PJ, Carol, Donna and I, and thought, well they are so wonderfully entertaining to us, we have to do something back for them. But, y'know, we’re really not singers, we’re really not dancers, what can we do? So we sat around with a bottle of wine cooler. And, I don’t drink, and I said, well, how about if we distill down the basis of the cock of the, ahum, Kirk and Spock— (laughter) KF, MS: —Freudian slip, Freudian slip! (laughter) KF: Yes, ah, down to their basics, and how ‘bout if we do a cock show? And— MS: I have that on tape, too. KF: I have it too. Luckily Dixie Owen would come with her video machine, and I ended up putting together a video from the two years. But the first year we ended up going there, and we had a huge seven-foot, and a six-foot cock. Kirk of course was a little shorter and thicker, Spock was taller and thinner— MS: Was very green— KF: —very green with two, with a double ridge on the top. What we did basically is, we took this foam that was used in couch cushions, very dense foam, and we’d sculpt it with an electric knife— MS: Electric knife— (laughter and coughing) KF: —so that we had the proper shapes. Carol, who—a little insider—ended up working doing the— In the beginning, for the Barney TV show? She actually did the animals and things and the costumes for Barney. Anyhow, she was our designer who— MS: (laughter) Sorry. KF: —made the fabric that came down from the head all the way down— And then for the balls, we’re thinking, “Well what are we going to use?” And I said, “Well, listen, we gotta carry ‘em on the plane. How about if we use beach balls covered in fabric, ‘cause then we can deflate them.” MS: Yes. KF: And then of course we had pipe cleaners for the hair and furry bits. MS: I remember when you brought them. Oh my god. KF: And we figure, so we— And I put together a list of songs, and we had little snippets of songs. We started out on the stage with Spock all kind of bent over and just kinda hunched. And he had the little song, y'know, “I am a rock, I am an island.” And of course you hear from off-stage the signs of “Macho Man.” All: (laughter) (indistinguishable shouts) KF: —Pick one— MS: “Macho, macho man"— KF: —and on the stage Spock goes “Huuunh?” and immediately his two balls come out— (squeals) —yeah, from underneath— MS: —from underneath, boing! KF: —and his head starts coming up a little bit, and coming up a little bit, and then the Matt Davis song, “I want you to want me, I want you to need me.” MS: The entire auditorium was in hysterical— KF: And then of course the finale is the 1812 Overture climax with the cannons going off! MS: Complete with, was it— KF: It was, it was— MS: —did you use confetti that time? KF: No, it was white candies wrapped in plas— in cellophane which I then threw up by the handfuls for— MS: Yeah. Woooo! Multiple overlapping voices: —for the climax. KF: For the climax, yeah. And, the audience was hysterical.

“Kirk of course was a little shorter and thicker, Spock was taller and thinner-“

I have read this description in a fic on AO3 THIS WEEK. I love fandom.

Fandom has always been fucking bananas, and I’m so grateful for our foreparents in the Star Trek fandom for launching what fandom’s become today.

It is nothing, nothing compared to the above… but I remember being at a convention masquerade (I think it was even a Worldcon…?) and two people came down the runway dressed as the Enterprise and a Klingon cruiser… and then they got into a brilliantly staged fistfight, wound up grappling with each other while shouting insults, and fell off the runway into the audience.

I don’t think anyone in that room could breathe for a good while, they were laughing so hard. It’s astonishing to me to this day that ambulances didn’t have to be called.

…But yeah: Trek fandom. For half a century and more, willingly going where no one has ever, EVER gone before. :)

There’s a surviving video of this, and yes, this is what it’s called

Oooh, Fanlore didn’t have a link to the video! Fixed, now!

i am LOSING MY FUCKING SHIT OVER THIS. folks of fandom’s past: fucking thank you for always being insane and hilarious

Nothing could’ve prepared me for that video, even this post. AMAZING.

UM

@aimmyarrowshigh @idontgettechnology @thisweekinfandomhistory

these are my thotz as someone who has been directly exposed to 2022 and 1966 batman within less than a month: there's a sweet spot between silly/gloomy ways to write bruce wayne, there's unpleasant extremes, and then there's the real extremes that are such weird little freaks that they make perfect sense

Pick a country and its tourism slogan

“Rayban charity glasses event” is a scam don’t click any link in a post that says that.

Old tumblr users remember this scam back when it first went out.

Also no, this isn’t a joke. This phishing scam is 100% running its course again so watch out for your mutuals long abandoned accounts suddenly posting it. Please make everyone aware of it since most users here are newbies who have not seen it before!

Being a famous YouTuber sounds so dangerous like you know after you hit a certain audience size there’s gonna be some fucker in the comments being like “hey your nostrils are asymmetrical” or some such shit you’ve literally never thought about in your life and then every single time you look in a mirror from that point on you’re gonna be like “ah fuck lads my nostrils are asymmetrical.” I literally would not take the risk.

The other dangerous part is that Mr Beast might do a collab with you

Source? The fairies told me