i fucking hate pop psychology with every fiber of my being

did read the article to make sure it wasnt just clickbait title its just a long diatribe about how npd is bad person disorder and every nice or pleasant interaction you have with a narcissist is actually just them trying to manipulate you for their own ends. I'm so tired of this shit

i feel like im actually going insane with how much psychology media talks about personality disorders in ways where you can tell they *really* want to take a hard turn into eugenics

autism in china

if you been here for long enough you probably know that even me fucking explicitly naming country of origin & ethnicity instead of vague around something east asian, huge deal.

so.

as chinese person who born & part grew up in mainland china n been though HORRIFIC trauma from it... cannot talk about anything related to it.

but in mean time. there important things desperately wish non-chinese, or people who lived) in china in general (including diasporas), would know n understand.

because it been extra traumatizing & isolating n lonely, be only person in big metaphorical or literal room, who know these trauma exist, n horrific extent of it. some of which have live experience with. some of it looming threat for my future. some of it not my own experience but my friends (aka my community. my autistic n disabled community).

so, going share some stuff written by other chinese people in this post. that. oh gods. it so accurate it hurt.

there may be some parts not fully agree or would word different if am write. but. think overall message important enough.

especially if you non-chinese. hope you read through all of it (if accessible). even if it make you deeply uncomfortable. n then imagine autistic chinese people living in this reality. because many parts SHOULD make you deeply uncomfortable.

fact is, most prevalent, majority—n by majority don’t mean 51% majority, but enough to feel like it hopelessly whole entire country—understanding of autism in china is that. there real autism (真自闭症) that rare n severe n hopeless n should die, n majority of cases fake autism (假自闭症) that can be cured / taken off hat 脱帽, that caused by environment like bad parenting, n you should be glad it fake, n kid n parent should then dedicate entire life to taking off that hat to finding cure, even if it mean , via old school gold standard (read: abuse) ABA. all professionals say it all professionals endorse it n who would question professionals? look this grande new intervention came from great United States Of America, that proof it top quality it works n am going charge ridiculous money for it. but why you saying USAmericans n “the west” saying [things that humanize autism], they wouldn’t know real struggle, their diagnostic criteria super wide it all fake, why would you listen to them, you traitor you boot licker. —but either way, both real n fake autism drain on public resources n should be kept away should be locked up in chains (no, literally. seen documentary where high support needs autistic get chain in closet for majority of day, “for his benefit.”), should never be born should all die. keep it away from my normal children my normal children should not have to share same space same classroom same world as it, its behaviors its symptoms its screams its existence rob teachers attention away from my normal children. they all should die n will proudly explicitly admit eugenics good.

(don’t actually believe this. but pretending write what have seen people talk about.)

-

n finally, post about general (visible) disability—because in my however many year grow up there, before (temporarily it seems) left, have never seen visibly disabled person in public. ever.

ever.

n generally anything from this instagram account. need stop linking now or else link entire account.

.

so please. reblog this. share this. read this. don’t let me be only person bear this. because my god it breaking me

Image/post descriptions under cut - hopefully this will help reach more people.

^ ^ for those need ID & for those not on instagram. thank you so much

Okay you know what? Schizophrenia is way too demonized and, as someone who has had it for ten freaking years, I want to dispel some myths about hallucinations.

Aka talking about hallucinations using my own personal examples because I had an actual fucking THERAPIST tell me I was the ONLY person in the world who experienced hallucinations that were not solely visual or auditory. Warning for…hallucinations obviously.

Visual hallucinations - These are hallucinations you see. I usually experience these by way of inanimate objects moving (like dolls or mannequins moving on their own, before you ask yes I do hate clothing stores). Sometimes these can be scary and sometimes they’re mundane! I’ve hallucinated monsters and I’ve hallucinated pretty birds. Hallucinations don’t always have to be scary.

Auditory hallucinations - These are hallucinations you hear. I commonly hear crying, talking, music, and video game noises. If I play a video game for too long and it has a repetitive sound in it, I WILL be hearing that sound for minimum three hours. You think the sound that plays in LoZ when you’re low on hearts is annoying? Try having to listen to it on loop when you’re not even playing the game. Like with visual hallucinations, they’re not always scary! Contrary to popular belief, they can be totally mundane. Hearing voices is not always scary either. Sometimes they just say random stuff, sometimes they give me little pep talks, most of the time they just all talk over each other at once and I’m like GUYS ONE AT A TIME PLEASE jeezy cheez-it’s.

Tactile hallucinations - These are hallucinations you feel. I hear common tactile hallucinations are feelings of bugs on you and fur but I don’t usually have these, I mostly have tactile hallucinations of being choked which is…not fun.

Olfactory hallucinations - These are hallucinations you smell. Yeah I thought of farts first too. So far I haven’t heard of that being a common hallucination though. I hear a common olfactory hallucination is burning? But I just smell wet metal. I…don’t know why.

Gustatory hallucinations - These are hallucinations you taste. I don’t know how to pronounce gustatory either. I often taste blood or metal. I hear those are pretty common gustatory hallucinations.

None of these hallucinations are inherently scary! As a child, I thought hallucinations were a super power. After living with them for over ten years, they just don’t phase me that much. Remember: you don’t have to be schizophrenic to experience hallucinations! There are many things that cause hallucinations including and not limited to trauma, PTSD, psychotic depression, etc. (sometimes even stress!)

But please please please be kind to people who hallucinate. I’ve lived with it for over ten years and (rarely) it can still be terrifying to me sometimes. People say “But there’s nothing there and you know that-“ yes I know that! But it’s still very very real to me and very terrifying! Minimizing what people experience with their hallucinations is not helpful and will only make them feel worse.

Thank you for reading!

me saying I can’t control my volume bc I’m autistic and ppl being like “okay well no matter what some people might view your loudness as aggression especially if they have triggers.”

babes I’m well aware that being autistic affects the way people perceive me in ways that are detrimental & socially isolating LMAO you don’t need to explain that to me. i say that with empathy & understanding to people who can’t be around loudness genuinely but it’s so funny to be like “I have an autistic trait I cannot control that doesn’t align with social politeness” and ppl saying “okay well I hope you know some people won’t like you.”

YEAH!!!!

as an autistic person I have a long history of people not liking me for things i cannot control. this is not news. you still have to be kind btw

also this is Not the post to explain in the tags why you don’t like being around people like me, even if you’re nice about it.

Here’s to hoping that every single person with schizophrenia or a schizoaffective disorder or DID or NPD or any other ridiculously demonized mental illnesses has a wonderful day

oh and people with ASPD and borderline and bipolar disorder and anybody who experiences psychosis but doesn’t have schizophrenia or a schizoaffective disorder. i love all of you and i wish you the absolute best <3

i genuinely think ocd is incredibly underdiagnosed bc i will see people posting what are obvious rituals, compulsions, intrusive thoughts, spiralling, hyper morality, etc and its like Have You Considered This Might Be An Issue

it isnt actually good or normal to have moral dilemmas every day about which posts you reblog. it isn't actually good or normal to check and recheck every message you send "just in case" you sent porn instead of a 'hi how are you'. it isn't actually good or normal to believe that your day will only go well if you have a specific keychain or whatever with you. like i'm not going to diagnose you but i do think some of you need to look into obsessive-compulsive disorder beyond "ha ha funny man wash his hands" portrayals.

so I have always been a bit boggled by the idea of "self esteem." like I have always liked myself and wanted the best for myself and thought I was awesome and yet therapists have constantly been accusing me of having "low self esteem"

and it's only very recently that I have worked out that by Self Esteem they mean more like-- trusting myself. to be able to do what I want done. and my whole life I have been real shaky on that not because I don't think I'm awesome but because I have become increasingly and miserably aware that I have a fucking neurological condition. or two. that make it extremely difficult to do certain things no matter how much I want them done

and now that I've gotten myself diagnosed and medicated I am more getting what they mean. like. now I know I probably CAN do the thing if I am properly medicated and have gotten a good night's sleep and deploy the right playlist. and everything is way less scary because of that

but it's not because. like. I just needed to esteem myself more?? it's like if I fought and fought and finally got a wheelchair and was like "okay NOW I know I can make it through an entire trip to the grocery store" and people were like "see! you just needed to believe in yourself!" no I needed Y'ALL to fucking believe me

Please reblog for sample size, even if you’re not autistic.

Instead of trying to replace an ableist and incorrect usage of intensive though (e.g "the intrusive thoughts won tonight") to mean impulsive behaviour with the term "impulsive thoughts" (which is clunky because it obviously still draws from intrusive thoughts and is similar enough for people to not notice or know the difference, is still ableist as this is also a medical term, and self-contradictory, as any impulsive thoughts are not necessarily harmful in a way that works for the meme), I suggest we start referring to it as The Impulse. Capital letters and all.

Arguments:

- draws on the popular internet slang expression of The Horrors (unspecific but commonly experienced life struggles of both psychological and material original), and is therefore not connected to the ableist misuse of instructive thoughts;

- additionally, implies the existence of universal human experience with The Impulse, in a similar way humans universally can experience The Horrors, and therefore inclusive of all;

- also implies the existence of The Impulse entity which, according to individual interpret, can be anything yet immediately relatable to other people;

- is literally just funnier than both intrusive thoughts and impulsive thoughts in that context;

- sounds ominous enough to use in ominous situations.

Example of use:

"bro let The Impulse win 💀"

"The Impulse won tonight (dyed my hair at 3 am)"

"The Impulse telling me to call my ex [insert reaction picture]"

"can't let The Impulse win this one"

You can also smack at ™ there, implying that The Impulse™ is well known enough to be trademarked and widely recognisable, which I think is cool.

Somedays I worry I push the idea that aac is this absolutely amazing thing to use and have, and everyone will benefit from it and it’s super easy. And I pray that’s the not idea pass around, because it’s not true.

Aac can be fun yes, but the harassment, exclusion and struggle from starting and continuing to use aac is hard to deal with. People don’t take you serious, they want verbal communication even if you can’t and they won’t talk to someone that uses a device for a voice.

From personal experience, aac is amazing to have, but it’s hard to start, continue use and understand. And truthfully aac can be just as impaired to use as my verbal speech. I feel like I tell everyone the good and purposely exclude the bad, and I don’t want to anymore. Because it’s wrong to me and so many others.

Aac is hard to use. Some just can’t for whatever reason. Sometimes they don’t have any function language, they don’t understand others exist and can be talked to, they have little interest etc. speech & language impairment go past only verbal speech, they often include of others understand them, they understand others and how they communicate with the world.

Aac takes time. And I mean a lot. It need constant improvement, customization and editing. It can take years to get personalized, and even then, sometimes words are being added in daily or monthly.

It’s frustrating. Thought can’t get out quick enough, conversations change before get words out. Sometimes have thoughts but no idea where words are located (symbol based) or not sure how phrase thoughts. Yes it can help prevent meltdowns, but it can also be the cause of them.

I’ve been off and on aac for a few years (mainly due to not have actual device for it) and sadly aac may never actually work for me. Sometimes it does, other times it’s just as or more frustrating than verbal communication. Sometimes the good outweighs the bad.

But sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes it just never works. It’s sometime shown as the one that works when nothing else does, but sometimes aac also don’t work. That’s the sad truth behind aac.

(One experience from one aac use. Also part time not use since childhood experience. It’s different for everyone!! If this related with you, great. If it doesn’t that’s good to.)

Your periodic reminder that in people who have been subject to threats and punishment for having emotional responses or ‘inappropriate’ facial expressions, panic attacks look different.

They may look like the person has become calmer and less involved, dismissive, even. Some people become intensely subservient and silent. Some become catatonic.

Panic doesn’t always involve screaming, crying, and obvious signs of distress. It involves an extreme form of the person’s fear response – which can be altered by circumstance, ability, and what they’ve learnt to fear.

Which is to say, it’s not your place to decide someone isn’t having a panic attack, when they’ve told you that’s what’s happening.

Oh, so that time I just couldn’t move or talk or anything and was basically catatonic was a really thing? Why am I constantly finding out that experiences I’ve had are not just me???

See also: being totally fine until reaching somewhere safe like your car, your house or your room. That also includes seeming totally fine to YOURSELF. The amount of times i’ve been like, oh wow that went better than expected then closed the door and lost my fucking shit while going “but i was fine????”…

it’s a safety thing. you weren’t safe in public to be seen with emotions you could be punished for, and now you are.

A bit of a hot take

I don't like it when people compare low support needs autistic characters to Music (the girl from Sia's infamous movie) who is meant to be a high support needs autistic character.

First let me clarify that I'm not defending Sia or that movie that she made, I do agree that it has a lot of issues and should not have ever been made.

However those "good" autism rep characters being either level 1/low support needs autistics (Abed from Community for example) or not canonaclly autistic but are viewed as autistic (Lilo from Lilo And Stitch for example) while labeling Music as the "bad" autism rep is a little unfair, because they aren't very comparable, it's like comparing a part time wheelchair user to a full time wheelchair user.

Not to mention the fact that there has been saying things like "no autistic person would eat gum off of a bench" when in fact, some autistic people espsecially level 3/high support needs people would as well as having meltdowns the way Music does or make "odd"/"funny" faces, I will say that the way Music is potrayed isn't good and is poorly written, however there are autistic people irl who do have the same traits as Music and therefore while probably not intentional, the people who are framing Music is the "bad" autism rep for having traits that level 3/High support needs autistics have as well is being ableist.

Overall what I can say is I think higher support needs autistics deserve much better rep than what they get and to be included.

im a simple gal, u as someone not on the schizophrenic spectrum say schizo, i avoid the hell out of you

i wish i had the power to classify 'schizo' as a slur like the r slur so ppl would stop saying it but i know no one cares about schizophrenics so whatever i guess

ppl with schizophrenia live shorter lives than the general population

ppl with schizophrenia have a much higher rate of suicide than the general population

ppl with schizophrenia are very often victims of physical and sexual violence and abuse

ppl with schizophrenia are othered and shunned from their communities and denied benefits that should otherwise be available to them

ppl with schizophrenia are often neglected or given inadequate care by medical personnel

ppl with schizophrenia have a significantly higher rate of being murdered by the police

ppl with schizophrenia often have harm done to them dismissed because we're just not seen as people

all of this on top of dealing with an illness that is so severe that you can barely function on your own without medication, and all of this is worse x1000000 if you're not white or skinny

when you say schizo, you dehumanize us. when you say schizo, you harm us. when you say schizo, you further perpetuate systemic violence against us

it hurts especially when i see ppl who are otherwise quite left-leaning say it because you know how systemic violence works through dehumanizing ppl with words and yet you choose to use schizo anyway

anyway thats it. no one cares about us so im not bothering to tag any of this. please just try to avoid using schizo, ok?

the ocd/autistic experience of "you have made a social blunder. no one is upset about it. you will need a minimum of two days to recover."

Having ADHD is so fun because sometimes youre looking for something that you use regularly and definitely put away in a smart and reasonable place and you have absolutely 0 hope of remembering where and finding it. And then other times ur like "hmm I need a some kind of small pointed object. I feel like i remember seeing a paperclip under the left couch cushion a month ago, i wonder if its still there" and it is

is there a name for the very sudden and very visceral overwhelm that happens when something is different from how you expected it to be

I'm not sure but.... Isn't frustration?

no it's less mad feeling more scared/upset

For me it's shock and grief.

i can see that . for us tho grief feels too like . melancholy & this is more jumpy/stressed

I think that's anxiety from dreading the unknown and/or being unsure if you can cope when presented with something you weren't prepared for.

Oh god, I think I know this exact feeling and I get it a lot when my routine gets interrupted or what I'm expecting to happen doesn't happen if it's NOT a routine thing/something I'm really excited about gets cancelled. And I think it's a kind of meltdown/shutdown, t b h.

I tend to get increasingly anxious and jumpy and then I get really irritable/angry and often start crying from the frustration and anxiety combo -- I just...generally refer to it as a meltdown, tbh. I don't know if the emotion itself has a name though or what I'd call the EMOTION. Frustranxiety? Dread? I think there's definitely some grief in there because it's just SO fucking disappointing for me.

no this is like exactly the vibe

idk maybe i should just come up w a name for it myself