auto-didact.

egg magical girl where she's like "man, i wish i could be a girl all the time, this is so fun! sucks im a guy the rest of the time when im not in uniform."

her name is like. sparkle sparkle sunshine and she's so insanely miserable in her day to day life. her teammates, sparkle sparkle moonlight, sparkle sparkle loveheart and sparkle sparkle stardust don't know she's a "guy" and she's mortified of them finding out. so while the three of them hang out outside of uniform, she isolates herself.

her whole thing is fighting darkness with the Truth and her "sparkle friend" is a little sun shaped lion thing named beam who's incapable of telling lies, which puts a lot of pressure on her. she keeps telling herself and beam that she'll tell her teammates eventually, but... not right now.

sparkle sparkle transgenderism

the hatching starts when beam offhand mentions she's a girl and she's like "but you can't lie??"

YOU GET EXACTLY WHAT I WAS GOING FOR THERE

People talk about Lolita like Humbert Humbert is a conflicted and dichotomous character and then you read the actual book and he's like "I love lying to people for fun and getting lost in flights of wild imagination and making things up and telling falsehoods. Also I look like a bunch of movie stars and every woman in the stories I tell thinks I'm darkly handsome."

HH: "I was in a mental institutions for reasons that are suspiciously never discussed where my favorite thing to do was lie to the psychologists."

Readers: "I think he might be lying about being in love with a child but it's impossible to know for sure."

The edition I'm reading had a little introduction like "is Humbert Humbert a poet in love? Or a dangerous pervert? Perhaps...he is both." 🤔🤔🤔

And then you turn the page to the forward and it's like "Hi. It's me. Vladimir Nabokov, speaking as a diagetic psychologist. Humbert Humbert is a consumate monster. Don't trust anything he says."

happy transgender harry du bois saturday

Hey uh sorry about your boyfriend. Yeah he’s sort of your boyfriend girlfriend now. Yeah he’s pretty enough to lie to. Sorry about that.

shoutout to the fanfic so fucked up so smutty so particular to canon that it’s impossible to turn into an original novel. when something exists solely for making other fans eat glass. and you can only tell a very particular kind of person at a very particular time in their life about it after reading, creating a unique warrior bond forever

Too bad the prophet Cassandra never met Odysseus

They say if she made a prophecy Nobody would believe her

I’ve gotta say, that is exactly the kind of stupid thing that probably would circumvent a curse.

Cassandra: YOU ARE ALL GOING TO REGRET THIS SO MUCH YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW. 

Odysseus: Regret it why?

Cassandra: You won’t believe me if I tell you. If I prophecy, nobody believes me. That is my curse.

Odysseus: … I’m Nobody. Fill me in. 

*A couple of months later* 

Odysseus: HELLO PENELOPE, I AM HERE PRECISELY ON TIME AND NOT YEARS LATE incidentally I rescued and adopted a Trojan seer while I was away, she’s great, got me home really fast, Cassandra this is your new mother who’s not going to treat you like shit. 

Penelope: … I’m going to need more details, but okay, sure. 

Cassandra: *in tears* I love you, new family. 

Cassandra: Penelope, I’ve had another vision.

Penelope, sighs: Go tell your father.

#awww #wholesome greek mythology #bet you’ve never seen that phrase before (via @philosopherking1887)

Coronabeth is such a freak, I love her. She's the kind of girl who points a gun at herself and threatens to pull the trigger if you won't hold the other end of her leash. Nothing but respect for my unhinged bimbo baby terrorist. I hope Ianthe totally succeeds in making her the undead queen of the universe.

phantasmal and resplendent…

[ID: art of Lup from The Adventure Zone, floating in the air with a grin as flames burst out from around her. Her arms are spread triumphantly, with fire burning in her palms, and her red cape billows behind her. She's a slender elf, with long and curly hair. End ID.]

cat girls... they don’t stay girls forever, you know?

my secret ultimate sexual fantasy is to make everyone in my life fill out a checklist of their exact sexual boundaries with me and interests included in that and then i have that in a beautiful spreadsheet because i am an autistic pervert

Half the reason to be in a kinky polycule is so you can track their assorted fetishes on a complex spreadsheet or database!

i hurt myself with Big Jack by Pet Foolery (can find on instagram) again and no one seems to have posted the whole comic so. here. someone reminded me of it and i tracked it down. gonna go cry in a corner now.

did not know part 2 existed, here you go. another stab

hooooly shit livestock guardian dog comic oh my gosh oh my gosh

everyone should try pacing around your home infodumping about something while pretending you're on a podcast or a stream and someone asked you a question about it it's really enriching and fulfilling

(yes, that @gallusrostromegalus )

The timestamp really adds to this tbh

thinking again about vampirism as disability

what if you slept all day and woke at night, lonely and frustrated. what if you couldn't go to social events, or even mundane public spaces like stores. what if you couldn't see the sun. what if you couldn't go to the pool, or the beach, or the creek. what if you couldn't eat what everyone else is eating. what if you couldn't eat at all. what if your basic needs came at the cost of your loved ones' quality of life. what if you became agitated, confused, maybe even violent if your needs weren't met. what if people blamed your behavior on demons, or worse, your own inherent evil. what if people saw you as a threat to your own community. what if the default response to your suffering was either indifference or violence. what if people thought you were better off dead, that you no longer count as human, that they're doing you a favor by letting you disappear. what if people assumed you must somehow deserve all of this. what about that.

brooding men who cannot communicate their feelings if their life depended on it are only hot when they're fictional. if i have to deal with one in real life i will curse him and pray for his downfall every night before i go to bed

It's because the writer communicates their feelings for them. If people wanna pull that off in real life they need to hire a guy to walk around behind them narrating.

#can i be the guy#ill narrate SO incorrectly#theyll all learn how to talk for themselves just to shut me up (via @cirrus-grey)

i'm loving the implication that this isn't something they hired you for, but something you'd do as some sort of public service.

I hope this email finds you, binds you, ties you to a pole and breaks your fingers to splinters, drags you to a hole until you wake up naked, clawing at the ceiling of your grave