I wanted to immortalize the best moment in gravity falls on my blog

Why did I queue this for February 29 2024

None Pizza with Left Beef is 10 years old today.

happy birthday to a decade-old meme.

happy 12th birthday none pizza with left beef

Happy 13th birthday none pizza with left beef

Happy 14th Birthday none pizza with left beef

on this day one year ago someone sewed a fried egg to a tshirt

this is your only day to reblog this for a year

i missed my chance last year so this has been in my queue for 364 days

Hrh

Eg

happy birthday to all the tbs in the southern hemisphere!

Special Event: All Horses’ Birthday (Southern Hemisphere only)

Special Event: All Horses' Birthday (Northern Hemisphere only)

Image description: [A screenshot of Google results with a detailed realistic painting of eight horses running through shallow water. Underneath is text that reads: "All thoroughbreds have the same birthday so that their ages can be standardized for comparison because of the historical lack of records of actual birthdays. All thoroughbred horses celebrate their birthday on the same date, January 1 in the Northern hemisphere and August 1 in the Southern hemisphere.

https://www.onlymelbourne.com.au >.

Horses' Birthday 2021 - Only Melbourne" /end description]

Every summer this post starts getting notes again lol

tomorrow

Always reblog NSYNC the day before May

Queueing this for next year

Scheduled for 11:59pm, April 30th, 2021. Future me, I hope the quarantine ended quickly and safely so you can actually enjoy May this time.

I have been saving this since last year. Happy Earth Day everyone.

literally has been in my queue for an entire year. you just can’t miss reblogging.

Hell yeah earth day

Happy earth day 2022

My three girlfriends. And yes, they smoke weed.

do they smoke weed?

Yes, actually.

you mean she isnt just smoking a cigarette? but a weed cigarette?

It’s called a bunt…. Not weed cigarette… And yes, it is a weed bunt. They all smoke weed bunts before we kiss. (They are my girlfriends,)

They don’t look like they smoke weed.

Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. I’m so angry you are so lucky my three weed smorking girlfriends are rubbing my shoulders to calm me down I’m so mad.

Your “weed smoking girlfriend” has a Hello Kitty tattoo on her belly. The one in the middle.

I printed out a photo of your avatar and taped it to my punching bag that I punch and I mutter your URL with every strong punch I punch you twerp…. Don’t ever Talk about Blaiz or the wicked Tat(tattoo) I drew on her ever again I Don’t wanna see you standing outside my home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again ok leave us alone this is the FINAL FUCKING WARNING 

Well that escalated quickly……

What, was that? Hmm? Come again. *Blaiz grabs my shoulder* Come on Jory, they aren’t worth it, please. * I jerk my shoulder shaking her hand off* NO! NOOOOO!!! *starts to just pummel you with my big fucking fists. With each blow I let out a furious yell. The blows come quicker and harder and the yells get louder. I’m yelling so loud and now I’m crying. BREAKING POINT. The week was hard and I can’t take anymore. I’m opening sobbing at this point while you blood gurgle. All three of my girlfriends struggle to pull me off and they finally succeed and lead me away from the goo pile that is now your body*

haha oh my god

who even is this dude? someone needs some anger management classes.

love how he keeps reminding us that “I HAVE THREE GIRLFRIENDS”, “THEY ALL KISS ME”, and “THEY SMOKE WEED HURRP DURR”.

and let’s not forget the “Blaiz” and her “wicked tat”, or that he doesn’t “wanna see you standing outside [his] home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again”, and that this is “the FINAL FUCKING WARNING”.

“the goo pile that is now your body”

i’m dying over here, jesus

please, Jory, come challenge me to a bout of internet witticsisms; i promise, it’ll be fun.

*shoots you dead* Heh, idiot… *leaves with my three weed smorking girlfriends to go hold hands and kiss.*

this dude playin omg 

Come again? *The bar falls silent. No one dares to make a sound, as you have just said a very poor choice of words at a very dangerous time. I remain slumped over the bar, not looking back to you. One hand limply holding an almost empty bottle, the other hand cradling my head. I repeat the question, this time louder.* Come again?! *You can hear me slur the words, the sentence sounds like a real struggle for me to get out. I’m clearly intoxicated. A bead of sweat rolls down your face as you realize you might have just fucked up in a very major way. Everyone else in the bar is pretending to not notice what is going on. The bartender idly washes a mug with a cloth. His eyes are closed and he’s muttering something to himself. A handful of people hurriedly leave. One person looks back at you, a look of sorrow on their face. They almost say something, but shake their head and cast their eyes down to the floor, and leave. But not you. You stand, petrified. A quick look at me reveals I’m still  at the bar. You look to the exit, there’s still time. But there’s not, there’s not, there’s not. Your fate was sealed the moment you opened your mouth.* Mother fuck.. what did you say?! *I slowly rise from my stool and being to lumber over to you.  I look a mess. My hair is unkempt, I haven’t shaved in what looks like months, there are dark heavy bags under my eyes, my shirt is stained and has holes in it, and I’m missing a shoe. But the main thing you notice is the gun tucked into my jeans, and my massive muscle arms that look like they were made for punching. You know that song about the boots that were made for walking? Yeah, it’s like that only instead of boots it’s my muscles and instead of walking it’s punching. As I drunkenly sway over to you, you think of your family… Will they mourn you, or will they try and forget this blotch of stupidity, that their child insulted the Jory publicly, ever happened to their family? Your thoughts are cut short as I now stand face to face with you. I grab your face and pull you even closer.* Playin?! There was nothing playing… no playing you fuck. No playing… it was real.. the realest thing I’ve ever know.. felt… Love. I loved them… Blaiz…. Chas-Chas… Funk… I loved all three of em… but they…*My face is wet with tears and I’m blinking constantly in vain to hold them back.* They left me… left… *Almost instantly the sadness leaves my face and is replaced with pure anger.* Playin? Playin?! *My hand leaves your face and starts to head to what you think is the gun. You close your eyes and see God looking at you, shrugging. ‘Pft, you brought this upon yourself dude.’ He says as he waves his hands at you dismissively. But instead of the gun, my hands grab yours. Your eyes jolt open and the anger is gone from my face. There is only sadness.* Left me… * I fall to the floor and sob.* Wow, grow up. *You say before you leave the bar but are hit almost immediately from a car and are killed upon impact.*

happy 4/20

This plays out like a Wattpad fic

my thoughts exactly 

Tintin remembers what comes after 15.

FUCKING HELL IT’S BACK FROM LAST YEAR

This literally gets reblogged every 15th of the month. It’s almost two years old. It’s beautiful.

listen up ya’ll this post is 6 years old now and you’re still reblogging it. every month. once a month, my notifications blow up for this one video, but only until the 16th. then the notes on this vid completely stop. it’s so eerily spot on and impressive how you just all collectively know what to do. if I’m not online, people irl still remind me that it’s the 15th. thank you for six surreal years of me wondering if I completely fucking lost it. here’s to the 15th

it’s time

ITS NOT TIME ITS FUCKING MARCH I DONT WANT TO SEE THIS

it’s time

237 more days till halloween! ITS LIKE NEXT MONTH GUYS

I have a feeling someone had this queued for an entire year just so they could post this in march

I T S T I M E

ITS TIME

IT’S MARCH YOU ANIMALS

IT’S LITERALLY MARCH 8TH 2017 THE FUCK IS THIS DOING ON MY DASH

ITS MARCH , 2018.

ITS TIME

I swear tumblr has a thing about March. What’s going on? I thought I knew all of tumblr’s secrets.

Well I guess I haven’t even been here for a full year yet, so…

it’s time.

Time

INTERNATIONAL HOLIDAY

>??>?>??

CREPPY

It’s MARCH!!!

MARCH 2020 BOISSSS

Chaos is my middle name

March 2021 here we go

it’s spoopy time! :D considering putting my halloween decor back up just for the meme lmao

It’s time!!!!!!!!

ITS TIME

IT’S TIME

you liTTLE FUCKERS ITS MARCH

It’s Darkleblub.

ITS MARCH

not to be too negative but, downgrade of the century

losing it over these comments

crying I love you guys

Ok but that first tag, Elrond is literally a flat earther in canon

As an asthmatic, this was critical advice. It can also be helpful to splash cold water on the back of your neck or forehead, which helps distract you from the panic. 

If you are having issues with what it feels like breathing in a mask, practice in a calm environment where you feel relaxed, and if you can’t get it to be ok, try different masks.

yeah it's absolutely important that we talk about how masks can make people feel like they can't breathe, and that is itself difficult. my mom has straight up developed some sort of agoraphobia during the pandemic and has had to skip out on events because she can't be in a crowded room with a mask.

good idea to check in with your body and what you're feeling, what exactly is it that's causing that suffocating feeling? is it contact with the material or the way it traps warmth near your face? try different fits and materials

Acknowledging that people’s feelings are real and offering realistic nonjudgmental options to alleviate those feelings instead of dismissing them, lecturing them and assuming bad faith? Apparently that’s still a possible way we can act. Who knew.  

I can’t do cloth masks for this reason, but the disposable paper masks are just fine for me. No panicking, I feel like I can breathe just fine, so my wife gets all the cloth masks and I use paper ones. I have no idea why the cloth masks cause me to panic and nearly hyperventilate, but I’m glad we realized it pretty early on. 

pls

The fact that they’re still tight about this after all these years is so funny to me like they must think about it every single day

Man it wasn't even the copypasta. I saw folks eviscerating the guy for daring to write YA stuff. Teen love for teens. And how that made him a pedophile. Like that's what's being talked about here. Not the cock monologue. It was the endless hate and vitriol like I remember distinctly my dash being flooded with "he's a grown man who writes stuff for kids. That's super sus of him" and him literally being called a pedophile and other such smears. Like the cock nonsense was the absolute least of what happened. Don't be a derisive dick. If you're referencing that then obviously you were around to see all the toxic bullshit too and you should know all of this

But oh noooo! It was obviously the goofy taste of balls post that did it! Because tumblr is good and always correct /s

It is particularly cruel to me that John Green was harassed essentially off of the internet in the way that he was because the poor man has OCD and is very open about it.

The way he was treated is horrible and disgusting for anyone at all, but John Green has for years and years (along with his brother Hank) tried to make the world a measurably better place while living with a horrific mental illness. A mental illness that makes something like being called a pedophile over and over again horrific in ways that unless you have OCD, or are very very close to someone who does, you will never understand because OCD targets whatever you value and makes your world a living hell over it.

And you know what? He still writes his novels, and he is still out here doing absolutely everything he can to make the world a measurably better place. The cock monologue was just the straw that broke the camel's back.

--

Also if anyone did this to my brother I would never ever forgive anyone involved. Never. The fact that they are still engaging with the internet in the way they do, with vulnerability and kindness is remarkable.

The notes on this post are shit so just to be clear: if you’re following me and you think it’s funny to harass someone, or that it doesn’t count if the victim is above a certain age or if the harassment happens online, or that it’s worse to speak out against harassment than to harass someone, unfollow me because I don’t fucking want you to interact with me

On the positive side, here’s two replies that are actually decent:

"Harassing someone non-stop for months, including graphic sexual harassment and disturbing baseless accusations of child abuse, is funny as long as I think the victim is annoying!" -a lot of people, apparently

If you want to know more about the project and his involvement you can learn more here.

You can also go support in a small way through youtube. Hank and Sarah Suta  post short videos each month on the channel Bizarre Beasts, where they talk about an animal and what makes it bizarre. If you have the money and like pins, they have a pin subscription where each month a pin of the new animal is sent out. All of the proceeds go to the project.

the world needs more women with facial and body hair. its so so important we especially need more women with facial hair

this is so unbelievably especially true about trans women btw. if ur a trans woman with facial hair and body hair im cheering so fucking loud thank u for ur service ur stunning ur gorgeous ur amazing

Found in a 120 year old time capsule.

Full VDO: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoDj4mXdqmc

Worth it.

I’m sorry I might sound like a madwoman for going on a rant about this but man, it’s… I don’t know how to express it but just the thought of some person, 120 years ago, taking a photo of their cat, which back then wasn’t easy - they didn’t have phones with cameras, each photo required a lot of time and dedication, so not only the person “wasted” a whole photo on their cat, they also did their fricking best to save this photo and carefully put it into an envelope to preserve it so that people in the future will know that there was this cat and it looked like this and it’s owner thought the cat looked lovely that day so much that they decided to take a photo of it and then they loved the photo so much that they went out of their way to preserve it for future generations like “hello people from the future! this is what my cat loos like!” because they loved their cat so much they wanted people from the future to know about it is… crazy to me… and here we are, 120 years later, long after the cat and it’s owners passed away, looking at an old photo of a cat and gushing about it. The cat died so long ago and wouldn’t even know it existed if not for the owner that loved their cat so much that they decided this photo was worth preserving and put it into a time capsule. and seeing now how people dedicate whole blogs to their cats and take countless pictures of them just to show to other people really hits because you realize that in the end, people from today aren’t that much different from people that were 120 years ago. We all just love our cats and want people to look at them.

I bet this woman was imagining the photo may be seen by like… a family some day. But no. It survived till the age of the internet. It has now transcended the original media. It is now being seen by far more eyes in far more places than the media she chose would normally allow. I hope the taker of this 120 year old photo is PROUD.