ask me about mutually orthogonal Latin squares

this too shall pass

HURRY UP

Starting a collection

speaking of third-wheeling i love when people are like "third-wheeled too hard and now i'm in a throuple" but i think a little spoken of third-wheeled-too-hard option is getting adopted by other adults. one time when i was 25 and in undergrad i made friends with a married couple in their thirties and ended up in such an unusual relationship that one day they called me to their house and sat me down very somberly and then one of them started crying and i thought one of them must have gotten some sort of life-altering health diagnosis or something

but then they told me they were getting a divorce and they were going to be okay, but they had been agonizing for two weeks over how to tell me because they didn't want to "disrupt" my life and it was then that i had to remind them that i was actually a fully grown adult and that i was going to be completely okay and that in fact i would like to be there for them in this tumultuous time and they were like

"oh....... yeah"

some of you don't respect kitty cats enough

There was a young man from Peru

Whose limericks stopped at line two

There once was a man from Verdun

There once was a man from the sticks Whose limericks stopped at line six. They were fine till line five Then they took quite a dive — But the problem is easy to fix If you just ignore the last line, it doesn't even follow the rhyme scheme oh god I've really lost control of this thing I'm so sorry...

There once was a man

From Cork who got limericks

And haiku confused.

There once was a man from the sticks

Who liked to compose limericks

But he failed at the sport

Because he wrote them too short

@limerickshere

There once was a fellow named Dan, Whose poetry never would scan. When told this was so, He replied, "Yes, I know-- It's because I try to squeeze as many syllables into the last line as I possibly can."

On Tumblr did lasses and lads Their way with fail poetry had. You're having your fun But you're fooling no one - It takes skill to do something this bad.

One of my favorite genres of post

How can you not include the most famous one?

based da vinkis per usual

So I clicked the link & this comment nearly killed me:

Nomi had me in the first half, not gonna lie

no sentence fills me with utter loathing so much as "i asked chatgpt"

Hey guys, and I'm saying this very gently and lovingly as like your Internet mom shaped figure or whatever, I totally get where you're coming from and it's no problem at all, but please just remember that sometimes people just experience things and it's not a mental ailment in need of a physiological diagnosis, okay?

i love it when you accidentally meet eyes with a stranger in public and you flash a quick polite smile and they look at you like they wish you were dead in a ditch

I’ve seen this several times on my dash and always with southerners being confused in the tags why the rest of the US is like this, and as a southerner, I have to say, SAME. Like, there’s plenty to hate about the south, don’t get me wrong, but at least in general we have public courtesy down to a science. I ordered at a Sonic out West once and the guy specifically had someone take over his headset so he could come out and shake my hand because he was from Tennessee and it was the first time since he moved West that he heard anyone say “Yes sir.” And it’s just…. Automatic for me? And this polite smile thing, people will jump and glare and I’m just trying to be friendly not awkward? What else is a socially anxious southern child to do upon accidentally making eye contact? Look down and hurry away? Isn’t that rude??? Someone explain why is smiling met with such anger I am confused and afraid.

Exactly!! When I moved to Missouri I was baffled at how rude everyone is! Like I saw someone I knew at Walmart and stopped to chat and they didn’t even stop! They just went ‘hi’ and moved on. Like????

And when I moved here I made cookies for the neighborhood, cuz that’s what you do and the first place I went they said “we don’t eat things with sugar” and shut the door.

Like why do y’all hate everyone so much?

I’m Canadian and am also confused

Well yeah everyone knows Canadians are the friendliest people in the world

I’m from Indiana and I’m pretty sure if you don’t talk to someone you know In Wal-Mart for at least 5 minutes you go to jail

No but that would still be rude in kentucky

You are expected to talk for at least 15 minutes, say goodbye (like, a “take care y’all, tell me how that knee is doin”) and then you talk for another ten minutes, move a little further apart and say goodbye again (“well I better get going tell your nana I said hi”) and then you talk for a while and say goodbye one more time (“I’ll see y’all at church on Sunday/school/Jo-mart/Nana’s funeral”) and move on to the next person

And don’t even get me started on food etiquette

It’s not a south v. west thing, it’s a city thing. That’s why New Yorkers are the purest version of this. And it’s why I get both sides. I grew up in a small town in Northern California, and it was proud of all the small town things – “you can leave your door unlocked” and all that. I got a job for a while as a bank teller, and this coworker of mine had moved there from New York. I liked him (I tend to get along with folks) but a lot of people thought he was rude. “short” “impatient” even “brusk” were some descriptions of him, not just from our coworkers, but from the bank customers too. They complained because he always rushed them, never wanted to make small talk, etc. One day I was working next to him, and I heard him verbally pushing yet another customer along, just racing him through the transaction against his will, and I thought, I’m gonna say something to him about it. As soon as the customer left though, before I could say anything, my coworker goes “damn I hate people like that, get to  the front of the line and want to tell me their whole life story. So RUDE!” So I say something like, how is he the one that was rude to you? And goes, like he can’t believe how stupid I’m being, “ not to me, to all those people in line behind him that want to finish up here and get on with the rest of their day! You’re at the bank, you know why you’re here, you step up, you do a polite greeting and get the fuck down to business. Everybody has shit to do, and they can’t do it until you shut up about your life story that zero people drove down here to listen to. It’s so selfish! I can’t stand people like that”   Since then, I’ve lived in San Francisco, and L.A., and Montgomery Alabama, and Germany and Portland and Oakland and a bunch of little ass towns like Suisun Ca, and Kenwood and all kinds of places, Santa Cruz and Rohnert Park. And I’ve thought about the thing that guy started me noticing. It’s true. The closer in to a city (and the larger the city) the more the concept of polite changes from “how you are effecting the person you are communicating with” to “how you are effecting the people packed in around you” In Oakland there are like, zero grocery stores (Oakland is literally documented as a “food desert”) and so the best grocery store in Berkeley is also a favorite grocery store of Oakland residents and it is… full. You’ll spend a full 30 minutes in the snake of cars circling around in the parking lot waiting for somebody to finish shopping and leave so a parking spot opens up. Once inside, it’s more of the same. Shopping carts are cart-front to ass cheek. You literally can’t reach onto a shelf for a box of cereal without waiting for somebody to give you a break in traffic. Sometimes you get stuck standing in a single spot for several minutes, boxed in on all sides.  I’ve only been twice, and I swear to all holy gods that if I saw two people trying to catch up on chit chat while we all tried to maneuver around them, I would been reaching for my murdering stick. It’s called skype motherfuckers, go the fuck home and talk to each other, jfc, the rest of us are trying to make a deadline for some other shit we gotta get done today. Now, going back home, to small town Nor Cal, yeah, I don’t want to be rude, I’m gonna stop and say hi, I’m gonna ask about your family, I’m gonna rack my brain and remember that you had a sick cat or a trip you were trying to take or an interest in boats, and I’m gonna ask about that shit, fuck yeah tell me about how the tomatoes are coming in this year, I hear the birds are worse than ever. Anyway, city folk ain’t rude, they just polite different; suitable for city life.

This is such a great explanation, and really important.

Being raised as a Southerner and then growing up and moving closer to a city than I ever planned to, I can confirm that that “death glare” is not always hatred, it’s an anxiety spike/processing pause as they scramble to remember whether they know you.

Stranger: ::makes eye contact, smiles politely::

City person: (internally) Who the fuck is that?

I have often witnessed that frown/glare accompanied by that statement, and it softens right up after a second if they recognize you. On the other hand, I can also see it being a means of warding off convo if they’re in a hurry.

I live in a medium-sized city, and if I go to the grocery store 2 miles south of me, closer to the city center, I had better not start any conversation in the aisles unless I want to get murdered by glare by my fellow shoppers. 2 miles north, technically also in the city limits but on the far outskirts, like if I crossed the street I would be in a suburb? Totally acceptable to block the aisle for chitchat. A good chunk of the shoppers at these stores are the same people, but in one store they’re picking up something quickly before heading back to work or to their commute home, and at the other they’re doing a non-time-sensitive errand.

The notes get 0 stars in reading comprehension

No one is saying you can't like to wear makeup

The problem comes from who is pushing that makeup = selfcare

Because that "who" is only doing it to make money

Not because they care about the people they're pushing that to

Because they don't