would you put a discarded fruit sticker on my forehead in whimsical jest yes or no

reblog to put a discarded fruit sticker on the forehead of the person you reblogged from in whimsical jest

i really want to see genderqueer be an identity we talk about in great detail this pride month. genderqueer saw more usage in the 90s and 2000s, with the rise of the term non binary we've seen more people gravitate toward that label as it becomes the more socially accepted term to use given its notoriety. i would like to bring back alternative labels for this experience, since our diversity is what makes us so unique and strong as a community

genderqueer is an identity that has a long history, and a myriad of definitions and folks who express it in different ways. it really can mean whatever the hell you want. it can mean that you're cisgender but express your gender in a queer way. it can mean that you're trans, take hormones, have gotten top and bottom surgery and dress however you want. it can mean that you dress "normal" and pass as cishet but have a queer gender on the inside. it can mean that you combine masculine and feminine aesthetics. it can mean that you strive for gender neutrality. it can mean that you want to be so ambiguously gendered strangers can't tell who you are.

there's no guidelines or rules, genderqueer is an identity meant to embrace the freedom one can have with gender expression. it can mean as much or as little as the person using it wants it to. it's a beautiful term that is just as flexible as non binary, and i do not postulate to replace that term, but rather bring light to another identity that may suit folks slightly better. it's a beautiful identity. it's what I came out as first in 2011 and I'm happy to be back at all these years later.

2024 is a great year to be proud of being genderqueer and to proudly tell people about this part of yourself. let's celebrate ourselves louder and prouder than ever before. there are many ways to exist outside of the binary, and folks deserve to know about older terms that have been used by the community as well as newer ones

notes for my impostor syndrome:

• no, it's not painful to walk for abled-bodied people

• no, healthy people don't usually use every chance they get to lean against walls or sit down

• no, ableds don't dream about shower stool

• no, ableds don't celebrate days when they're not in pain. because usually they're not in pain

• no, ableds don't want to stop walking mid-way, lay down on the ground, curl up and cry and whine from pain

• no, ableds aren't exhausted by their own bodies 24/7

just realized that as an able bodied person I can make the "What if this hurts everyone and nobody talks about it and i'm just a huge baby about everything" post i wish I'd had about sensory issues and anxiety :O

Here are some human experiences no one thinks to clarify

basically it's never a problem for me to walk on flat ground, like barely a noticeable expenditure of energy, and uphill isn't much of an issue either unless it's for like. hours

and i don't have back pain it's kinda weird to me that people talk like everyone does by the time they're in their 20s

*however this post made me realize that in college i've been exhausted and in pain a lot more than normal for me so there's that

I used to think back pain in your 20s was normal and now i know i probably have a joint and connective tisue thing going on. I do wonder if the "everyine has back pain in their 20s" people are confusing pain from college and work stress for normal life sense so many people are stressed these days.

$20 says it's retail jobs where you have to stand for 8+ hours shifts that's causing it to be so common

the student said, "i'm reading a zen buddhist cookbook. with no recipes." and the teacher replied, "ah, dogen's instructions for the cook, written in 1237?" "yeah," said the student, "it's saying not to let rats fall into the rice pot"

letting rats fall into the rice pot violates the buddhist concept of nonviolence, ahimsa. and this is one of the more dauntingly advanced cookbooks i've ever seen

ingredients: 1 grain of dust.

step 1 turn the Wheel of Reality within the grain of dust

Oh I see what you mean!

I felt like I was keeping up here:

But then I realise the very next sentence that I’m not even remotely on their level:

There’s a lot I don’t know about soup.

at work: i could be cooking and cleaning and coding and reading and working out and weaving tapestries and playing video games and climbing a mountain and having sex and filming a movie right now yet they keep me trapped in this prison. idle hands are the devils plaything and i am being forcibly molded into his perfect conduit. i must break free, seize the day and waste not the beauty inherent to finite mortal life

at home: my one true passion upon this pointless earth is bog mummy imitation

I couldn't have said it better myself.

As a 30 year old man who escaped the Alt-right pipeline, you're not going to be happy about the answer.

All I hear from leftists is how much they hate me for my immutable traits, how much they blame me for everything wrong with the world, how much they want me and everyone who looks like me dead.

Whereas Alt-right types would call me "brother" and welcome me into their ranks so long as I hated the right ways.

Do you understand the difference?

I'm an ally and support equality because I feel it's the morally correct choice to make, but holy fuck is it difficult to reconcile that with the fact that means fighting for a lot of people who see you as the scum of the earth.

Read this and then read it again and then read some fucking bell hooks because this is a legitimate problem on the left.

"To create loving men, we must love males. Loving maleness is different from praising and rewarding males for living up to sexist-defined notions of male identity. Caring about men because of what they do for us is not the same as loving males for simply being." - bell hooks, The Will to Change https://bellhooksbooks.com/product/the-will-to-change/

My mind reals at the idea that people couldve been playing music like this 4000 years ago

the thing about being nonbinary is that you really do start to forget that other people have such strict walls around what is and isn’t allowed for genders. i thought we all agreed that we made that up. could you climb out of the cave real quick and feel the sunshine for a minute.

oh boy i sure do love having tons of trinkets

the nefarious dust particle:

“Some years ago, I was stuck on a crosstown bus in New York City during rush hour. Traffic was barely moving. The bus was filled with cold, tired people who were deeply irritated—with one another; with the rainy, sleety weather; with the world itself. Two men barked at each other about a shove that might or might not have been intentional. A pregnant woman got on, and nobody offered her a seat. Rage was in the air; no mercy would be found here.

But as the bus approached Seventh Avenue, the driver got on the intercom. “Folks,” he said, “I know you’ve had a rough day and you’re frustrated. I can’t do anything about the weather or traffic, but here’s what I can do. As each one of you gets off the bus, I will reach out my hand to you. As you walk by, drop your troubles into the palm of my hand, okay? Don’t take your problems home to your families tonight—just leave ‘em with me. My route goes right by the Hudson River, and when I drive by there later, I’ll open the window and throw your troubles in the water. Sound good?”

It was as if a spell had lifted. Everyone burst out laughing. Faces gleamed with surprised delight. People who’d been pretending for the past hour not to notice each other’s existence were suddenly grinning at each other like, is this guy serious?

Oh, he was serious.

At the next stop—just as promised—the driver reached out his hand, palm up, and waited. One by one, all the exiting commuters placed their hand just above his and mimed the gesture of dropping something into his palm. Some people laughed as they did this, some teared up—but everyone did it. The driver repeated the same lovely ritual at the next stop, too. And the next. All the way to the river.

We live in a hard world, my friends. Sometimes it’s extra difficult to be a human being. Sometimes you have a bad day. Sometimes you have a bad day that lasts for several years. You struggle and fail. You lose jobs, money, friends, faith, and love. You witness horrible events unfolding in the news, and you become fearful and withdrawn. There are times when everything seems cloaked in darkness. You long for the light but don’t know where to find it.

But what if you are the light? What if you’re the very agent of illumination that a dark situation begs for?

That’s what this bus driver taught me—that anyone can be the light, at any moment. This guy wasn’t some big power player. He wasn’t a spiritual leader. He wasn’t some media-savvy “influencer.” He was a bus driver—one of society’s most invisible workers. But he possessed real power, and he used it beautifully for our benefit.

When life feels especially grim, or when I feel particularly powerless in the face of the world’s troubles, I think of this man and ask myself, What can I do, right now, to be the light? Of course, I can’t personally end all wars, or solve global warming, or transform vexing people into entirely different creatures. I definitely can’t control traffic. But I do have some influence on everyone I brush up against, even if we never speak or learn each other’s name. How we behave matters because within human society everything is contagious—sadness and anger, yes, but also patience and generosity. Which means we all have more influence than we realize.

No matter who you are, or where you are, or how mundane or tough your situation may seem, I believe you can illuminate your world. In fact, I believe this is the only way the world will ever be illuminated—one bright act of grace at a time, all the way to the river.“

–Elizabeth Gilbert

I think it’s time this got another airing.

A heavily underutilised aspect of the digital landscape is the ability to send someone a .zip care package featuring a few podcasts, a handful of indie ttrpgs, a couple webcomics, a digital mixtape, and the .epub or .pdf for some book nobody's ever heard of.

And hey, why stop there? Slip in some scientific articles, recipes, poetry, sewing patterns, films, or whatever else would appeal. Some of these things cost money, some don't. But recieving a curated collection of goodies? Guaranteed to be valued.

Since I'm not in a position to host a .zip for you all, here's a free little care package of links from myself to everyone out there:

one must imagine sisyphus locking in

one must imagine sisyphus locking in

On how characters address each other in the italian translation of Gideon the Ninth

So, a few days ago I saw a post explaining how characters address each other in one translation of the Locked Tomb universe novels, and I thought I'd write something about the italian translation as well.

First, a bit of context: in italian we have different ways of addressing someone, and aside from what I'd describe as "titles" (e.g. "doctor"), we also use a different pronoun to refer to the person we're talking to depending on how formal or informal we wanto to be.

That probably made no sense, so I'll try with an example

1.Talking informally to a friend or someone younger (most of the time): you're going to call them "tu" (you, second person singular).

Example: "ciao, come stai?" which, since we pretty much can infer the pronoun from the verb conjugation, is the same as "ciao, TU come stai?" (meaning: Hi, how are you?)

2.Talking formally to show respect to someone: you're going to call them "lei" (she, third person singular, feminine). This is considered respectful, and it can be used regardless of the person's gender.

Example: "Salve, come sta?" which for the same reason as above is the same as "Salve, LEI come sta?" (Meaning again: "Hello, how are you?)

3. Not used anymore for a couple of notable reasons and still very formal, you can call someone "voi" (you, second person plural).

It feels very ancient, and if I'm not mistaken, this way of addressing someone was widely encouraged (mandated) during fascism in Italy. So, we tend not to do that. We (though I can't obviously speak for every italian speaker) just don't do that.

The example above would become: “Salve, VOI come state?” (still meaning: “Hello, how are you?”)

Now, let's get to the interesting part! In the italian translation of Gideon the Ninth, when speaking formally, everyone uses "voi". I personally read into it as a way of letting us know that the Empire is, well, kind of a fascist regime.

The use of different ways of addressing each other, IMO, defines also how close two or more characters really are.

I've divided the characters by House. Spoilers for Gideon the Ninth ahead!

Ninth House

Gideon calls everyone on the Ninth "tu", and it's probably meant to show that she's being intentionally disrespectful. (Given how they've been treating her, unsurprising)

On the contrary, while Aiglamene calls Harrow "voi", Harrow answers calling Aiglamene "tu". In fact, Harrow seems the only one who can address everyone as "tu".

So, everyone should address Harrow formally, but she does not have to return the favour. And so, she does not.

At Caanan House, Gideon still calls Harrow "tu", except when making fun of her, and only then she uses "voi".

For obvious reasons, at the end of the novel, Harrow uses "voi" to address John.

Edited because I realized my wording was unclear: Harrow uses formal with Teacher and the other necromancers, but informal towards anyone else! I meant she uses informal to address anyone else on the Ninth.

First House

Teacher and the other priests always use “voi” when addressing necromancers, and "tu" when addressing cavaliers.

Second House

Marta and Judith do the same thing as Teacher using “voi” when addressing necromancers, and "tu" when addressing cavaliers. It seems to be a rule in this universe.

Notable exception: at the very end of the novel, Judith calls Palamedes "tu". Understandable, given the circumstances.

Third House

At the beginning of the novel, Gideon overhears Naberius and the twins talking. Still following the rule of “voi” when addressing necromancers, and "tu" when addressing cavaliers, Naberius calls Coronabeth and Ianthe “voi”, and they answer calling him “tu”. But during the course of the novel, Babs switches at times to “tu” both towards Corona and towards Ianthe (during the anniversary dinner, no less. Rude!).

Corona calls Palamedes “tu” when she’s trying to convince him to give her a key, but he answers formally calling her “voi”. (Technically she’s a necromancer, since this is prior to the big reveal).

Fourth House

Jeannemary and Isaac mostly follow the rule, except they call Magnus and Abigail “tu”.

Fifth House

Magnus and Abigail still follow the rule, except towards Isaac, who they address as “tu”. Considering how the Fourth teens also address them and act informally towards the Fifth House, I’d say it’s been done to highlight how close they are.

Sixth House

Palamedes and Camilla also follow the rule, but in private they sometimes call each other “tu”.

Interestingly, Palamedes and “Dulcinea” keep the way they address each other pretty formal. Except it really was not Dulcinea all along. Palamedes keeps addressing Harrow as well formally until the very end, when he calls her “tu”.

Seventh House

“Dulcinea” pretty much follows the rule, which means she addresses necromancers formally and cavaliers informally. Nothing to say about Protesilaus, for obvious reasons.

Eight House

Silas and Colum mostly follow the rule, even among themselves, except when they fight after having tea with Gideon. (Meaning, Colum calls Silas “tu”).

So, here it is, for anyone who might find it interesting!

I’d push back gently in saying that there is no moral imperative to be “out.” I wish there wasn’t the perception that the two modes of being are “out to everyone and open” or “lying”.

At 19, my biggest goal was to not be visible. I wanted to be cis-passing binary trans as quickly as possible, to not really have to talk about it, and then pretend that I was never trans in the first place.

Then queer/trans advocacy became a huge part of my life and work. I gave talks, I ran clubs, I served on boards and was given queer/trans clientele in various jobs because of my openness.

I never expected to be open! Then now, over a decade later, sometimes I am not open. As a genderfluid person, my risks and assessment have changed. Sometimes things are riskier for me than at 19. Sometimes I can be bolder than I was at 19. Sometimes bathroom choice dilemmas are worse than when I was freshly out.

There is no “out all the time and authentic” that doesn’t come with risks, and it’s up to you to determine what is safe—what you are willing to risk. And it will change!

My advice is to connect with more trans people around you. Seeing people older than me who made it was lifesaving. Hearing advice from people who lived in my city/town was lifesaving. And not just trans people with my identity. Some “opposite” trans people had perspectives that were extremely helpful to me freshly out. You are not in some shameful secret only being out to friends who accept you—that is a form of being out.

Admitting your identity to yourself and trying things in the privacy of your home is a form of “being out.”

It takes steps, and isn’t linear.

Building a network of people you can be out around helps strengthen your resolve to be bold on your own. Telling family you know/think will support helps you to have backup telling family you aren’t sure will be supportive. Having a place to go makes it safe to tell parents who might revoke housing.

Being authentic for the sake of authenticity that endangers you isn’t the “right” choice.

So strenghen your support. Build up your own tolerance to negativity. Have people you can rely on. Have backup plans. Make escape plans.

Wait until you can do things safely, and/or have a plan in place if things go wrong.

Trans/nonbinary life is a journey and not a big onetime event—do it at your pace!

It is completely understandable to be afraid at any period, perhaps moreso now, so do what you need to to stay safe.

You owe no one else a thing in your gender journey, you owe yourself safety and happiness. I’m sorry things are how they are, but you will find security in yourself and what you are empowered to risk.

I’d push back gently in saying that there is no moral imperative to be “out.” I wish there wasn’t the perception that the two modes of being are “out to everyone and open” or “lying”.

At 19, my biggest goal was to not be visible. I wanted to be cis-passing binary trans as quickly as possible, to not really have to talk about it, and then pretend that I was never trans in the first place.

Then queer/trans advocacy became a huge part of my life and work. I gave talks, I ran clubs, I served on boards and was given queer/trans clientele in various jobs because of my openness.

I never expected to be open! Then now, over a decade later, sometimes I am not open. As a genderfluid person, my risks and assessment have changed. Sometimes things are riskier for me than at 19. Sometimes I can be bolder than I was at 19. Sometimes bathroom choice dilemmas are worse than when I was freshly out.

There is no “out all the time and authentic” that doesn’t come with risks, and it’s up to you to determine what is safe—what you are willing to risk. And it will change!

My advice is to connect with more trans people around you. Seeing people older than me who made it was lifesaving. Hearing advice from people who lived in my city/town was lifesaving. And not just trans people with my identity. Some “opposite” trans people had perspectives that were extremely helpful to me freshly out. You are not in some shameful secret only being out to friends who accept you—that is a form of being out.

Admitting your identity to yourself and trying things in the privacy of your home is a form of “being out.”

It takes steps, and isn’t linear.

Building a network of people you can be out around helps strengthen your resolve to be bold on your own. Telling family you know/think will support helps you to have backup telling family you aren’t sure will be supportive. Having a place to go makes it safe to tell parents who might revoke housing.

Being authentic for the sake of authenticity that endangers you isn’t the “right” choice.

So strenghen your support. Build up your own tolerance to negativity. Have people you can rely on. Have backup plans. Make escape plans.

Wait until you can do things safely, and/or have a plan in place if things go wrong.

Trans/nonbinary life is a journey and not a big onetime event—do it at your pace!

It is completely understandable to be afraid at any period, perhaps moreso now, so do what you need to to stay safe.

You owe no one else a thing in your gender journey, you owe yourself safety and happiness. I’m sorry things are how they are, but you will find security in yourself and what you are empowered to risk.