One problem that men have with understanding women is that men often look for one-size-fits-all rules for all women instead of treating women like people who have different boundaries and want different things at different times. And they may have been raised with those one-size-fits-all rules.

For example, should you compliment a woman's ass? The answer isn't 100% yes or 100% no. If you're having a conversation with her and she brings up which celebrities have a nice ass, and you tell her that hers is better, that's most likely good (if it's actually true), because she already brought that up as a conversation topic. If you tell her she has a nice ass in a professional setting, that's most likely harassment, because it doesn't help to have a nice ass at that time. If you compliment her ass in response to her sharing a story about a stranger yelling "nice ass" at her, then you're likely adding to the trauma that the harasser caused.

Should you be rough with a woman? If you're consensually roughhousing and are careful to prevent hurting each other, then yes. If you're being rough by default, or when she never indicated any interest in that, or in a way that mimics abuse she's suffered, or for the purpose of showing dominance, then no.

If you tell someone to "look at me when I'm talking to you", I instantly assume you're a bully toward autistic people, because you are.

Unless they're actively focused on something else, you can't accurately assume someone isn't listening just because of where they're looking.

It's not a sign of "disrespect" to not make eye contact. And if you were taught that it is, unlearn it.

UM GUYS. I JUST NOTICED A CRAZY ISSUE W THE TUMBLR UPDATE.

YOU CAN SEE THE ICONS OF ANONS SOMETIMES.

The way I was able to recognize several anons in one of my inboxes bc of this error. Oh my god. Guys. This isn’t supposed to happen.

Weighing in to say:

YES, I SEE THIS ON MOBILE. HOWEVER I DO **NOT** THINK IT'S SHOWING THE ANON'S REAL IDENTITY.

The profile pictures I see next to anon asks are profile pictures that belong to other, non-anon asks in my ask box also. Some info

I think the bug is the inbox INCORRECTLY attributing anons to neighboring, logged-in asks.

Which is still a bad bug! Considering it makes it look like a long-time follower of mine sent me a spam ask.

And is worse if, say, one of these was anon hate.

But it's NOT the anon's real identity. It's a neighboring ask asker's identity

So if you have anon hate in your inbox that looks like it's attributed to your dear friend, who sends you lovely asks all the time, it was Not them.

CONFIRMED THE BUG IS INCORRECT ATTRIBUTION.

Thanks @thepatchycat for being a test subject. As you can see the icon being attributed to this ask is NOT the patchy cat

The pictured icon belongs to @watchingforcomets who sent me a nice ask about nail polish yesterday which I have not yet answered!

its just embarrassing when you make a fandom related post and it doesnt get any notes like okay. so no one want to play tuoys with me. no one wants to play with our little guys together. okay thats fine. yeah its cool... puts my hands in my jacket pockets. kicks a beer can that was on the side of the road a little

“can mutuals dm you?” my mutuals can fire me from a cannon through a brick wall, looney tunes style. as long as we’re all having fun

sending nudes? hot.

asking for consent before sending nudes? very hot.

asserting your personal boundaries by declining to send nudes? so fucking hot.

assuring someone that they should never feel pressured to send nudes if they're not entirely comfortable? hot hot HOT!

They’re scared because they know that the public is with Luigi.

They’re violating his rights because they need to maintain capitalism.

Keep talking about Luigi.

“Rayban charity glasses event” is a scam don’t click any link in a post that says that.

Old tumblr users remember this scam back when it first went out.

Also no, this isn’t a joke. This phishing scam is 100% running its course again so watch out for your mutuals long abandoned accounts suddenly posting it. Please make everyone aware of it since most users here are newbies who have not seen it before!

I bet if a mushroom could lap water out of your hand with a tongue that a gently drinking mushroom tongue on your hand would be the softest and gentlest thing.

jesus christ, i experienced brief but severe grief over not actually being able to experience this.

I think it would feel like a lizard tongue but I've never had a lizard drink out of my hand either, and thus the whole thing remains conceptually elusive.

this put such a vivid image in my head i needed to make it real as soon as i got home

original by clairetablizo

@sepiamestus is this how it's supposed to be done

oh. oh dear.

uhm. yeah that.. that explains it.

You ever think about the MOVE bombing and then think about the fact that so few US Americans even know that the MOVE bombing like. Happened.

"The United States is dedicated to moving bombs away from people who would use them for nefarious purposes! Google MOVE bombing to learn more!"

jesus christ 😐

this also doesn't come close to telling the whole story.

the Philadelphia police harassed the MOVE organization for over a decade. MOVE began with peaceful protests against conditions at long-term-care facilities and against the city Zoo's mistreatment of animals. in 1972, police classified the group’s use of profanity as riotous and designated them violent threats to public order. the actual reason was their radical abolitionist message.

the Philadelphia police department had a brutal, corrupt, and racist reputation long before MOVE entered the picture. despite that fact, MOVE’s claims of police brutality typically fell on deaf ears, even when they had undeniable proof of mistreatment. the bombing is only one part of the story both because it is the culmination of violence between MOVE and the police and also because it is part of the broader narrative of police brutality in Philadelphia that is still largely played out today.

in 1957, two Black men were beaten by three off duty and allegedly drunk police officers, putting one in the hospital for 19 days. the commissioner at the time testified that all officers were trained in "race relations," which involved things such as having officers brandish shotguns out the window of their patrol vehicles as a show of force in so called "shotgun squads." the three officers were not convicted of any crimes.

in 1960, shots indiscriminately fired by officer Robert Marinelli killed two innocent Black bystanders. Marinelli was charged, tried, and then found not guilty on all charges by an all-white jury.

in 1967, a guy named Frank Rizzo became the police chief. his nickname while working in West Philadelphia as a captain was "The Cisco Kid," which referenced the fictional cowboy who "killed for the love of it or any other reason that came to mind." he referred to "vermin" in Philadelphia as the source of the crime and decline.

shortly after he was appointed, he sicced 300 officers in riot gear on Black students and advisors protesting the Board of Education who were protesting the lack of Black studies and Black teachers. Rizzo ordered the officers to "get their Black asses." 57 protesters were arrested, dozens were beaten, and 15 were hospitalized. Frank Rizzo was elected Mayor of Philadelphia 3 years later and during his bid for re-election in 1975, he said that he would "make Attila the Hun look like a faggot" once he was reelected.

so yeah, not only is the MOVE bombing virtually unheard of by the average person in America (and it's not much better in academia, for that matter), but the story that is often told when people do hear about is that this all happened in a vacuum "due to the actions of a violent Black resistance group." in reality, it was the culmination of over 50 years of brutality against Black people and minorities in Philly.

wheelchairs are like hamsters they love to die in bafflingly innovative new ways that you never thought possible

wheelchairs yearn for death like horses

it's like enrichment for them

See also, "We're in a drought; conserve water!" Meanwhile, bottled water companies and golf courses for rich folk empty the aquifers.

I always grew up resentful of the fact that my parents struggled paycheck to paycheck, not because I lacked or anything, but bc it just felt like such a ball and chain of a life and my mom in particular always seemed so "that's just how it is when you're an adult" blase about it. They never would do anything else bc it was always "bills". Like that sort of depressing reality was normal. Swore I wouldn't live life like that. And now here I am. Going to work to pay bills to go to work to pay bills. I have become trapped in the very thing I swore I would avoid.

And ik people are gonna say "get hobbies" "go smell flowers" bro nothing is gonna make up for the fact that we live under capitalisms thumb and I gotta do this stupid ass song and dance for someone else's profit until I die or until the system is uprooted, like... Every time I walk into work I realize this is it this is the pattern until I die and I can't stand it this cannot be all

And my coworkers act so normal that I wonder if it's just me, if there's something wrong that I cannot get myself to be excited about going to work no matter how many times I do it... Because as much as I might enjoy my work, the fact remains that it is still work and mandatory for survival and all will fail if I don't do it... Like... No I'm not happy to be here I'd rather be outside sipping a cider and feeling the breeze and enjoying my mortal life thank you

waiting for the day cis people come to understand that calling your partner “mommy” or “daddy” does in fact have incestuous connotations. it doesn’t matter how much you try to distance yourself from it; you’re engaging in at least a soft form of incest role play.

I don't watch sports but I'm pretty sure the feeling you get when a celebrity you're parasocial about fucks up in some neutral/well intentioned but AWFUL way (like taking an evil sponsorship without background checking or saying something YOU PERSONALLY know is problematic but that is widely accepted and considered okay) is the same feeling as watching your favorite Sports Player on your Sports Team fumble the ball or trip and fall on their ass. Like "NOOOOOO" screaming at the tv clutching your head in agony "AUGGGHH YOU IDIOT NOOO YOU WERE SO CLOSE GAAHAHAH RRAUFGGFHG GOD WHY" flipping the chips table raking at you eyes yelling at God.

The universal fan experience of suffering

Roller derby fan watching their fave make a mistake they could see miles away and eating shit because of it 🤝 me watching a YouTuber I like try to be responsible by saying you should see a doctor for a diagnosis and not self diagnose even though the idea of self diagnosis being bad is wrong and harmful in MULTIPLE ways:

"the irony I get from my knowledge is a curse and God hates me personally. I must scream"