Small Canadian Carpenter

The opposite of “manic pixie dream girl” is “depressed goblin nightmare man,” and, judging by this site, it’s just as attractive to some.

People have known this for decades

I love how here on tumblr dot website we regularly cast the greatest curse we can muster on each other by pointing our long creepy fingers and intoning "10,000 notes" in a voice that carries the winds of the mountain with it.

I might have made an error here

#here we have the classic case of tossing apollo's dodgeball in the air and standing directly under it as it comes down (via @qqueenofhades)

i understand you guys now. like i get it

I feel like this is even better when you know that the context is that they've just seem three spectral hags emerge from the fog to recite a prophecy of doom that mentions Captain Kirk by name.

The trick is to be more curious than you're scared.

hey. heeeeyyyy. tugs on your shirt. hey. pet me. now

figgy

[ID: a photo of coffee with milk poured into a cup that was placed on a dark wooden surface. because of the shape of the cup the liquid is in the shape of a star. end ID]

Being really into Frankenstein while at the same time being Chinese is so funny because every time Lord Byron gets brought up, the way his name is pronounced always makes me think of the word 白人 (bái rén), which translates into “white guy”. Lord White Guy.

people who don't wear glasses don't get the added benefit of taking off your HD eyesight for a while. just. fuck it! i'm done. 240p vision time

I've seen enough.

much like the minotaur I am a creature in some sort of situation

Nature valentines.

Thanks to my Patrons for your support.

well look who it is. my old friend. the conses of my quences.

do not 10k me stop that

Doctor calls you with your bloodwork results and just says “I’m really mad at you” and then hangs up

why are dudes in fanfic always getting hit with freight train orgasms. why not an orient express orgasm, classy and romantic. where are the shinkansen train orgasms? his orgasm hit him like the TGV atlantique breaking the passenger rail speed record. like the shanghai maglev, his orgasm was a feat of engineering but something of a commercial disappointment.

Don’t tell me delayed orgasms aren’t a thing

learning new things about the german rail system today

ok but the way i've made this exact joke in a fic--

[guy with the Cant Focus Disorder] why the fuck can't I focus