in agony, in love, in worry

no sentence fills me with utter loathing so much as "i asked chatgpt"

what they don't tell you about making friends is you gotta be a lil annoying. you gotta push past the fear of "what if they don't want to talk to me" and simply ask someone how their day is going, send a meme. you cannot connect to people if you're both just awkwardly waiting for the other to start.

I got inspired by this post

Ah yes, my favorite chronic illness game: is this normal, is this new, or am I dying?

Twin Peaks, 1990, dir. David Lynch

thinking again about vampirism as disability

what if you slept all day and woke at night, lonely and frustrated. what if you couldn't go to social events, or even mundane public spaces like stores. what if you couldn't see the sun. what if you couldn't go to the pool, or the beach, or the creek. what if you couldn't eat what everyone else is eating. what if you couldn't eat at all. what if your basic needs came at the cost of your loved ones' quality of life. what if you became agitated, confused, maybe even violent if your needs weren't met. what if people blamed your behavior on demons, or worse, your own inherent evil. what if people saw you as a threat to your own community. what if the default response to your suffering was either indifference or violence. what if people thought you were better off dead, that you no longer count as human, that they're doing you a favor by letting you disappear. what if people assumed you must somehow deserve all of this. what about that.

i remember learning the word melancholy at age 7 or something and thinking oh this word's gonna be huge for me

automated text reply that just says YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY PERSON I AM LETTING DOWN

there is still time. there is still time. until your bones are in the fucking ground there is still time.

Giuseppe Ungaretti, from a poem titled "Christmas," featured in Selection of Modern Italian Poetry

be careful with what series you watch/read during emotional points in your life because they will forever contain a ghost of your past self within it now

man. shoplifting in the 70s must have been so easy. no cameras in sight only living in the moment

The biggest “your experiences are not universal” thing I feel is whenever anyone talks about the universality of girls planning their weddings since childhood because. Well. Not me. God bless

god I could be so wealthy if I had no ethics. that's so fucking frustrating. I'm living paycheck to paycheck because I'm not grifting vulnerable idiots on TikTok. I feel like I have the ability to very easily scam people. I could make a killing with AI. but god. I have morals and ethics and so I get to be poor as shit. I hate this fucking world

I could have made a killing as a psychic, but noooo I have to feel bad about lying to people ugh

I think abt this all the time because the thing is, evil rich people truly believe that they’re geniuses who have discovered a way to make money that the rest of us dummies haven’t…but the truth is that they are just willing to do evil shit that everyone else would prefer to not to because we have standards

they hate me for my ardent refusal to accept cruelty as the status quo