Texts From Superheroes

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Faced with one final test before his admission to the criminal organization, gang initiate Hector Gunnerson was reportedly forced to peacefully deescalate a conflict Thursday to prove that he was not a cop. “I know Big Mike vouched for you, but before you can run with the Riverside Boys, we need to make sure you’re not an undercover,” said gang leader Butch ‘Mad Dog’ Tucker, who nodded for one of his men to start a verbal altercation with another gang member so that Gunnerson could either help amicably resolve the dispute or violently escalate it, depending on his instincts. 

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for my followers who do not watch severance:

dylan's wife cheated on dylan with dylan so dylan threatened to kill dylan so dylan's wife broke up with dylan and went back to dylan and dylan was so depressed about it that dylan killed dylan but dylan's still alive

helly is mark's boss but mark is helly's boss. mark and helly are in love but mark isn't in love with helly but helly is in love with mark and possibly with mark? because helly had sex with mark and then helly got jealous of helly so mark and helly had sex but helly and mark haven't had sex so who can really say

the office looks like this

one of the cruelest psychological tortures that occurs in this show is a woman being forced to write thank you notes

this child outranks the main characters

keep up the good work

Reading a book about slavery in the middle-ages, and as the author sorts through different source materials from different eras, I am starting to understand why so many completely fantastical accounts of "faraway lands" went without as much as a shrug. The world is such a weird place that you can either refuse to believe any of it or just go "yeah that might as well happen" and carry on with your day.

There was this 10th century arab traveller who wrote into an account that the fine trade furs come from a land where the night only lasts one hour in the summer and the sun doesn't rise at all in the winter, people use dogs to travel, and where children have white hair. I don't think I'd believe something like that either if I didn't live here.

I mean honestly everything that Arab traveler said lines up with the Arctic areas, except the white hair part, I don't know where that originates from, or if it's accurate

If I had to guess, maybe they had albinism? Or maybe it's one of those cases where kids sometimes start out with one hair color and develop a different one when they get older. This is all conjecture, but something to consider.

Still really cool tho

guys, the traveler just wasnt used to blondes

Also, languages develop words for colors over time so they get grouped with the closest one. That's why people with orange hair are called redheads. The word for red is generally the third color that gets a name. There wasn't always a word for the color orange, but there have almost always been people with orange hair.

And the Romans in Rome were fascinated by the Celtic slaves brought back from the British Isles because of their fair hair and skin.

For the sake of "I would not believe it either if I didn't live here" kind of context, this is a perfectly normal hair colour for children where I'm from. It darkens to a dark ash blond/sand brown when they grow up.

So what I learned from this is even in modern times, people don’t know or believe that Scandinavians are just that pale and blond without jumping to “albino” first

You wouldn’t have believed the 10th century Arab guy either.

Me, age 18 months.

So fun story, a few months after this photo was taken I went to my first concert. It was at the state fair, and The Guess Who were playing. For those unfamiliar with The Guess Who, they have a song called "Share The Land" that features the chorus "baby, I'll be there to shake your hand, baby, I'll be there to share the land," and once-upon-a it was actually safe for artists to go into the audience to sing and dance with people, so that's exactly what the singer did--looking for a baby to sing to. I happened to be the only one in the crowd, so I got the serenade.

[Spongebob voice] FIFTEEN. YEARS. LATER.

I am at a concert with my mother. It's The Guess Who. She gives me a sign to hold up about the last time I saw the band. They loved it, fun little story, the end, right?

NO.

Because the band did a "get your stuff signed" receiving line, and when my mom got her CD signed Bobby Bilan was chatting with me and said "you know, I remember that concert, but I would've sworn that couldn't be you. That girl had the weirdest hair I've ever seen on a kid."

ME: it was white.

HIM: yeah!

ME: not towhead, white. Like white-white. Old lady white.

HIM: YES!

ME: yeah, it started turning blonde when I was about five. Ask my mom for her wallet photo.

I'm not Nordic, by the way. I'm Irish, Russian, Polish, and Jewish.

okay fine: there can be one (1) sequel, in which he befriends a guy named “sherlock holmes” but who does NOT deduce or do detection AT ALL.  and their best friend is “winnie the pooh”, a normal man who simply chooses to go by that name for normal reasons

Diagram of my kitten who fell asleep on my lap that i drew through tears. Pleawse. I cant get up

"These characters are practically married but the network won't let us make them kiss", and its mirror universe counterpart, "these characters are textually fucking but it's otherwise unclear whether they even like each other".

See you at the Equator

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Texts From Superheroes

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Severance as vines

had a lot of fun making this one

on your mark.. get set.. go!!!

I made stew. It was awesome. I love potatoes.

i luv u too

wait what was in the stew

SERVICE DOG PSA

So today I tripped. Fell flat on my face, it was awful but ultimately harmless. My service dog, however, is trained to go get an adult if I have a seizure, and he assumed this was a seizure (were training him to do more to care for me, but we didn’t learn I had epilepsy until a year after we got him)

I went after him after I had dusten off my jeans and my ego, and I found him trying to get the attention of a very annoyed woman. She was swatting him away and telling him to go away. So I feel like I need to make this heads up

If a service dog without a person approaches you, it means the person is down and in need of help

Don’t get scared, don’t get annoyed, follow the dog! If it had been an emergency situation, I could have vomited and choked, I could have hit my head, I could have had so many things happen to me. We’re going to update his training so if the first person doesn’t cooperate, he moves on, but seriously guys. If what’s-his-face could understand that lassie wanted him to go to the well, you can figure out that a dog in a vest proclaiming it a service dog wants you to follow him

The double flan emojis make the identity theft scam just a little more enticing.

Well, I don’t usually give out my credit info to shady text prompts but those flans look so good!