9am: i hate my job im going to kill someone

2pm: i love my job never kill yourself

4pm: i hate my job i need to kill m

fascinating post I made in 2018

mom: who took all my coping juice

14 year old daughter:

The electric works of Los Angeles based artist John Espinosa 

lynchian

okay okay I know the point of this is “White people need to put as much effort into learning how to pronounce Black people’s names as they do foreign European names” and 100% I totally agree, absolutely good point

but this tweet becomes hilarious in the context of this clip:

anyways, absolutely put effort into learning how people pronounce their names. just don’t feel bad if it takes you some time to get it right 😅

(also in case you didn’t watch the video it’s “N-SHOO-tee” not “SHOO-tee”)

only a mom would call up her kid and correct them on their own name

This is funnier than learning that Kit Harrington didn't know that his full name was Christopher

"you were such a beautiful girl" "You're gonna be an ugly man" WRONG!!!!!! HAPPINESS WILL NOW SHINE OUT OF ME LIKE RAYS OF SUNLIGHT!!!! BEAUTY IS WHAT IS INSIDE YOUR HEART!!!! WHAT USE IS A PRETTY FACE WITH A ROTTING MISERABLE SOUL

thinking about creatures.

look at this thing

Tumblr users will see some kind of animal or beast and just slam the reblog button

That is a banded linsang.

They sit very politely.

@otiksimr

This is a banded palm civet.

They look very anxious.

why did annoying people online wake up one day and decide that gay wasn't a good enough term for mlm and that we should instead use a term modeled after a (probably) pederastic relationship? and don't even get me started on that "blue is for boys" ass flag

I’m watching Splash (1984) which is a romcom about a guy who falls in love with a mermaid, and when she chooses a human name she chooses Madison and guy says “that’s not a real name, but alright” which seems to imply that Madison was not a name until at least the 80’s and all girls named Madison are actually named after the mermaid. thought you should know

I think...you might be right

what the fuck

i never ever want to see the voros twins out of character i want to preserve the illusion forever. theyre just like that

the only roman emperor i respect is honorius because, during his reign, rome was sacked, and when someone brought him the news that rome had perished he freaked out bc he thought they were talking about his pet bird named "rome," and when they explained that they were talking about the city he was like "oh thank god. who gives a shit"

shouldve called his ass hilarious

"At that time they say that the Emperor Honorius in Ravenna received the message from one of the eunuchs, evidently a keeper of the poultry, that Rome had perished. And he cried out and said, 'And yet it has just eaten from my hands!' For he had a very large cock, Rome by name; and the eunuch comprehending his words said that it was the city of Rome which had perished at the hands of Alaric, and the emperor with a sigh of relief answered quickly: 'But I thought that my fowl Rome had perished.' So great, they say, was the folly with which this emperor was possessed." —Procopius, The Vandalic War (III.2.25–26)

He had a what?!?!