The best part about being asexual is knowing that you will never be honeypotted. I often picture myself as a mark in a James Bond movie who has information or something and Daniel Craig saunters up in his sexiest tux to seduce me and I’m just like “No thank you” no matter what he does and then he has an existential crisis and walks away in a daze then sends in Moneypenny cause maybe I just like women and I’m like “hey girl, no thanks” and send her away as well and they just never get the information. I am an immovable plot piece without even knowing it. Sorry James but I defy the tropes of your genre.

Happy International Asexuality Day to everyone except James Bond.

Dust bunny

How did I miss that?

You lack my quick wit and fat ass

PHRASE ADDED!

When you're trying to have a nice time at camp half-blood but now there's TWO mean looking big three children walking around :/ and they both bite

A PROFESSIONAL DOMINATRIX JUST CALLED ME A GOOD BOY?????

I DIDN’T BRUSH IT OFF REAL CHILL EITHER I TURNED BRIGHT FUCKING FUSCHIA AND SHE LAUGHED AT ME

H E L P

10. 9. 8. 7. 6. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1.

AAAND WE HAVE LIFTOFF!

HAPPY MOON LANDING DAY!!!

that’s a good one

This is probably my favorite image of all time I first saw it years ago and it has stuck in my head since then. The only vibes I’ll ever need

This has the same cuteness overload vibes as this:

baby chicks and penguins

gotta add Baby Yaga to this post it's important (x)

[ID: The photos are all of tiny, bundled-up babies in snowy landscapes. I cannot explain to you how bundled they are. They look like small adorable lumps of fur and fabric with clueless little faces. They’re so short and so round. End ID.]

WEBSITE: "This is a sex-free zone! This is a good, pure, Christian website and we would never expose our innocent, child-like patrons to such lewd filth as sex and sexual sexings-"

THEIR ADS: "Hey there, stud, how would you like to demolish virgin elf pussy every day? Play our new hentai game and drill through fantasy sluts for hours! We've programmed our elf-pussy simulator with over 100 kinks-"

This is so wholesome and HEALING. 🥰

This is my girlfriend (the original poster, Amy, I mean), and because she did this, every summer now I rent an ice cream truck for an hour and park it behind my local game store.

Hi!

I saw your tags, and I can attest that this story, in specific, is 100% true, as is the fact that in her honor, I now take an ice cream truck to my LGS every year (we've done it twice, that makes it "every year"). It's a small thing to rent an ice cream truck. It costs a few hundred dollars, so not everyone can do it, but it's 100% something you can do if you have the money and the whimsy and the desire.

This is not a difficult story to believe, which is good, because it's not a fictional story, either.

Women in Shakespeare

Also like to point out that when her mother says “I was your mother much upon these years that you are now a maid,” (translation: I had you when I was your age) you have to remember her father’s words: “earth hath swallowed all my hopes but she,” (translation: all the other children died.)  The whole plot point of Juliet being an only child is explained by her mother being a Margaret Beaufort type who had her first child too young and it damaged her past the point of being able to bear more children.

Margaret Beaufort died in 1509. She was a major player in the Wars of the Roses, the swirling on-again-off-again civil wars that consumed England from 1455-1487. Romeo and Juliet was written and first performed in the early 1590s. Your average English person of Shakespeare’s day would probably have had at least a vague understanding of who she was and what happened to her, because she was a key figure in recent history and was still getting passed around as a cautionary tale.

There are two great problems with what happened to Margaret (and that her parents are trying to do to Juliet). One is easy for modern people to spot (but was also a common response back in her own day). And that’s the moral implications of what was done to her. She was too young to be married, and it was horrifying that she was forced into it so young. Every one of the adults around her either acted immorally or failed to protect her. They were wrong. This is what modern people see, and it’s important to remember that people back in her day mostly agreed with it. You’re supposed to think it’s fucked up! When girls were married that young (and it didn’t happen often!) it was a formality 99% of the time. It was for dynastic or financial reasons (the girl has lots of money and/or land and/or a title that her husband wants), but the “couple” don’t consummate their marriage for years. And it’s not just that they would have separate bedrooms. They might not even live in the same country until the girl was in her late teens and physically and mentally mature enough to bear and raise kids. Hell, a lot of times they didn’t even meet until the girl was older! They had this thing called “proxy marriage” where you would have two separate ceremonies, in two separate places, with each party saying their vows separately, one in one city and the other in a different one. So, yeah, sure, the girl was technically married at 12, but she didn’t actually meet her “husband” in person until she was 17 and they didn’t start sleeping together until she was 20. That was a thing they did.

The other problem, the one that modern people don’t notice, is dynastic. See, marriage wasn’t generally because you loved someone. It was because you had the resources to support a family, and you or your family wanted to pool those resources with someone. It’s about “our family has these resources, and we want that to continue.” It’s about continuity across generations. It’s about making sure that your children and grandchildren have the best possible resources to survive and thrive, whether those resources are land or a trade or a title or money or whatever. In order for this to work, you have to have kids! The family and the family’s resources depend on the married couple having children. If the couple doesn’t have children, the marriage is a failure. And that failure affects not only the couple, but both families. This is a really big problem. And you can’t have just one kid to pass on the family name, because half of all kids die in early childhood. If you want to be safe, you need several kids, to be sure at least one will survive to adulthood (when they can marry and pass on the family name and resources.

You know what happens when a girl has her first pregnancy too young? She is very likely to either die in childbirth, or have complications that destroy her future fertility. Just like Margaret Beaufort. Just like Juliet’s mother. In other words, the marriage is a failure, not just for her, but also for her family, and her husband (who can’t divorce her, it’s not allowed except in extremely rare circumstances), and her husband’s family. So even the people who didn’t have a moral problem with adult men having sex with pubescent girls had a practical problem with girls married too young because you are very likely to destroy the entire purpose of the marriage by doing it. As Shakespeare reminds us in the play through Juliet’s mother having been married too young and only having one child.

Shakespeare is telling us “yeah, this is fucked up. but even if you’re the kind of awful person who doesn’t think girls marrying too young is morally wrong, it’s also a problem for practical and dynastic reasons, don’t forget that by doing this wrong thing you are very likely to destroy what you most want out of it.”

Interesting

It bears repeating:

don’t forget that by doing this wrong thing you are very likely to destroy what you most want out of it.”