Pinned
I needed dean winchester to grow old.
alex (she/they)
web weave/moodboard blog: @backroadweavings
to live past hope: @whatresemblesthegrave
something about a dream: @heartofadream
my ao3 account: cowboyplanetar
my bluesky account: eastofedean
my fic: at the end of all things and the playlist
my destiel playlist: don't make me lose you too
used to be @/dogearedheart
instead of worrying abt whether or not yr scaring the hoes y dont u find some hoes that dont get scared, brave hoes. indomitable hoes
my hoes have a Warriors Spirit
Day 3: Rainbows
The intimacy of noticing.
The intimacy of effort
i care btw. i care abt the song ur listening to or the bug u saw or how u just got outta the shower or how ur happily hanging out w ur friends or how ur kinda sad or how good was the meal u just had or ur fav character from an indie game nobody knows or if u chugged down some water. i always will
but dean literally beat his fist bloody on the back door of a fast food joint begging god to bring cas back
man, sometimes I miss the days when i could watch the trains go by from my parents' garden. I miss thinking about the possibility of leaving and going wherever the train would take me. it's funny cause I'm 'wherever' now. but nothing feels like i imagined. I thought that being away might set me free, but this freedom turned against me so quickly. this freedom started to suffocate me, and I quickly realised that I had nothing that was worth this freedom. with my siblings so far away and a difficult relationship with both my parents and nothing else... idk. I wonder if it's my fault. I should be more grateful about it... but I'm not. But I'm too old to want my family back together. Too old to ask for anything after asking for nothing at all for years.
I used to have glow in the dark stars in my bedroom. I tried to wish on a star every night. I wanted things to change. I got that change. I'm still stuck and I don't think anything has changed at all. I still sabotage every relationship i care about. I still feel empty. I'm still looking for something, anything. I still look at my ceiling at night, there are no glowing stars, only darkness. I'm gonna go back to my parents soon after quitting my job. I'm scared i won't find a new one. I'm scared these stars won't shine again. I'm scared the next time I'll see a train, I'll end up crying, knowing that I will never truly be able to enter one of these trains.
babygirl
its me. imΒ the april fool.
That fact that this could be either nothing or huge
Holiday Gifts: Phones/PDAs/Messaging PC Mag - December 2005
